The Disqualified
Disqualified as a Human Being
- Feb 4, 2023
- 186
I must kill myself. I cannot live like this. I must kill myself once and for all. I must escape this suffering.
Why are we born into existence and suffer so much? So much suffering and pain all my life. I cannot stand so much torture in my life all while seeing how much happiness I could never have because I don't have a normal life. I don't have a normal life because I am not a normal person. I am not even a human being, but a fraud. My fraudulence is fundamental. I despise this reality I live in and how brutal the world is.
I don't want to see them again. Their smiles, their happiness, their acknowledgements. I need to escape. But I can't.
I feel like I've reached the end of the road. There is nowhere left to go. It is the end of the line. I never felt this urgent before, it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. No way out in sight; cornered by all sides. My antidepressant really helped catalyze everything. I feel like I am on the last stop of the line. Dead end — nowhere left to go. It's the end of the road.
I can't bear this pain any longer. I will either make a scene or kill myself once and for all. Suicide would solve all my problems. All my suffering would go away.
Why are we born into existence and suffer so much? So much suffering and pain all my life. I cannot stand so much torture in my life all while seeing how much happiness I could never have because I don't have a normal life. I don't have a normal life because I am not a normal person. I am not even a human being, but a fraud. My fraudulence is fundamental. I despise this reality I live in and how brutal the world is.
I don't want to see them again. Their smiles, their happiness, their acknowledgements. I need to escape. But I can't.
I feel like I've reached the end of the road. There is nowhere left to go. It is the end of the line. I never felt this urgent before, it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. No way out in sight; cornered by all sides. My antidepressant really helped catalyze everything. I feel like I am on the last stop of the line. Dead end — nowhere left to go. It's the end of the road.
I can't bear this pain any longer. I will either make a scene or kill myself once and for all. Suicide would solve all my problems. All my suffering would go away.