Venting It's Monday again

[Deleted member 18655]

And it's actually half over. Another Monday, and a wasted one to boot. I don't want more Mondays or any days after Mondays.

My options:

• Get my act in gear and apply for jobs
• File my taxes
• Clean the house
• Go outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather
• Phone that friend I cut off and make amends
• Phone that other friend and hope for some attention
• Phone another counsellor and vent
• Go to the doc and get some meds so at least I can sleep
• Realise that it's all futile and get back to planning my Exit

 

[nosirens]

your options are all my options too except filing my taxes lol. but I'll most likely lay in bed, overthink, and wait til it turns night again.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Damn, I didn't even know that today is Monday. Sadness!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Very relatable, it took everything I had to even crawl out of bed and run a few errands. Something is better then nothing I guess. I still need to seriously get my shit together though.

 

[maru.]

• Clean the house
• Go outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather
• Phone that friend I cut off and make amends
• Phone that other friend and hope for some attention

I think these are the most important, friends are one of the most beautiful things in life, you'd feel a lot better talking to them or making amends.
Cleaning the house and going outside are also important, it'll definitely make you feel better about yourself.
Also, don't focus on doing everything you want to do right away, you'll become exhausted, more than you are now, do one thing at a time, even if it takes a while, but try to do them.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Thanks, @maru.

In all reality, I could have that list done in a few hours. But I don't see the point. I would feel more productive but no better about myself.

The friends I need to contact are, coincidentally, both therapists and know my state. I would be in for a lecture and ultimatums that I'm not ready to take. Both want me on anti-d's which I just can't go on again. One wants to bring me to the hospital. In this city and during these times, I wouldn't qualify for immediate care (thankfully). I know why I need but apparently I'm wrong.
I want to speak to them both before I ctb but that can't possibly end well.

I do need to clean up and get the taxes in order so I can get a refund and have money ready for my family so I can pay for things I leave behind.

Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammit

 

[maru.]

Thanks, @maru.

In all reality, I could have that list done in a few hours. But I don't see the point. I would feel more productive but no better about myself.

The friends I need to contact are, coincidentally, both therapists and know my state. I would be in for a lecture and ultimatums that I'm not ready to take. Both want me on anti-d's which I just can't go on again. One wants to bring me to the hospital. In this city and during these times, I wouldn't qualify for immediate care (thankfully). I know why I need but apparently I'm wrong.
I want to speak to them both before I ctb but that can't possibly end well.

I do need to clean up and get the taxes in order so I can get a refund and have money ready for my family so I can pay for things I leave behind.

Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammit

If you don't feel comfortable talking to them atm, then you probably shouldn't, it could end pretty badly for everyone.

About the list, i think we can't know until we try it, perhaps in the end you do feel a bit better about yourself, i know that cleaning my room, for example, was something that made me feel good, not just because i cleaned it, but because of the consequence of it, the space i spend my time in is now cleaner and it feels better to be in here i think, maybe cleaning your house could have the same short term and long term effect, it's nothing major, but it's good.

Also, taxes are probably a good thing to do too, not just so you can have money ready for your family, but because it's something that requires attention and concentration, so it'll stop you from thinking about your sadness.

Last, but not least, i still think it would be great to go outside and enjoy the weather, even if it is for just a little while, staying inside for too long can be terrible for our mental health.
Of course, going outside isn't this depression cure that many think it is, but it could help you feel more refreshed, and you have nothing to lose by doing it.