• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Zeir Anpin 729

Zeir Anpin 729

Member
Aug 11, 2025
92
I've spent months looking for a "peaceful pill". Philip Nitschke and the Exit International organization (both the forum and the outreach center in Washington State) have failed me. The "Peaceful Pill Handbook" put out by them recommends Nembutal. However, this drug is impossible to get and the entire organization fails to even provide one good example worth attempting in obtaining this drug. Ever since the public backlash, they have gone into hiding and let their methods grow completely outdated.

I continued to search for a "peaceful pill". I really wanted a quiet exit because I am a peaceful person. I looked into hydrogen cyanide and ferrocyanide, but those where also off the table. I looked into nitrogen gas tanks, but I didn't have the money or the necessary transportation vehicle to obtain one legally. Finally, in desperation, I looked into combinations of prescription medications, and came up with the little known solution of Phenelzine and Amitriptyline, which can be enhanced easily with grapefruit juice. But still, everything was theoretical, and in terms of actual, real world actions that I could take, there was none.

I guess now I realize there is no peaceful way out. I will have to try hanging again, but this time not quit when the pain overwhelms my brain. Last time it crushed my adams apple, but I was using a bunch of trash bags tied together as a make-shift rope. This time I will buy real rope, and it will be good, unbreakable, high-quality rope.

Hanging is incredibly violent and hard but I really want this and I have no other choice. I wish there was a peaceful way. But pro-lifers took all that away. I will hang myself very soon. Hopefully within the next few hours. I just need the rope. My dad wants me to move in with him tomorrow, and I really hate him, and need to die as soon as possible. I cannot stand to be around that bastard and I need to die now. There can be no more messing around. I hope this works. This has to work, I have accepted the pain of hanging and all the violence and am so done with life that I am ready for it.

If you are wasting time looking for that "peaceful pill", I can promise you that there is none. The closest thing is soy sauce or perhaps sodium nitrite. But I have tried these things as well and only choked on them. It is much more efficient and realistic to accept that the days of Philip Nitschke and Exit International are over and that truly all of us in this world are lost and without hope, whether we learn to see it that way or not. I hope I'm ready. I hope this works. This is likely going to be my last words and my last internet posting ever. Thanks for reading this thread if you did.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez, MissAbyss, pthnrdnojvsc and 7 others
Jadedmeursault9

Jadedmeursault9

Burned Out, Still Glowing
Sep 26, 2024
23
What makes you wanna go after death so much?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Enlightened
Apr 21, 2025
1,471
I am hoping peace for you. ❤️
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,275
I wish you the best, love and peace to you my friend 🫂:heart:
 
EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

2036-01-10T08
Apr 10, 2025
2,172
What makes you wanna go after death so much?


After some searching, I could find possible reasons the OP posted.

Based on the post text, maybe the person also had bad experiences with their dad and wants to avoid him at all costs, even CTB.
 
Last edited:
eggsausagerice

eggsausagerice

last chance for cake!
Apr 21, 2025
1,380
What makes you wanna go after death so much?

op mentioned it in the post.

My dad wants me to move in with him tomorrow, and I really hate him, and need to die as soon as possible. I cannot stand to be around that bastard and I need to die now.

i think it's also less of them wanting death and more like wanting a way to escape being alive in bad conditions. a lot of people look for a peaceful way to die because they don't like the idea of dying in pain. but death itself isn't that bad if you can go in a way that isn't really painful. similar to op, i've tried finding methods that don't distress me as much as hanging, but i think it's the only option if i actually want to die. everything else is just too expensive or unreliable for me to do. it sucks that you can research so much and find nothing.
 

Similar threads

49Slides
Replies
4
Views
230
Suicide Discussion
Cepheuss
Cepheuss
sleeplessboyinbed
Replies
1
Views
236
Suicide Discussion
U. A.
U. A.
D
Replies
30
Views
845
Suicide Discussion
fairygirl184
fairygirl184
I
Replies
18
Views
687
Suicide Discussion
Aflame5926
Aflame5926
Ilostmytoast
Replies
0
Views
147
Suicide Discussion
Ilostmytoast
Ilostmytoast