It’s a daily thing

[thecolourgold]

Every single day for the last two weeks (except 1 day I took a break), I've been alone all day except an hour or two. Aside from sleeping, I've just been attempting again and again. I'm eating less than 200 calories a day, trying to hang and night night over and over. Countless hours spent trying. I'm really exhausted but I think I'm getting close, I hope it works in the end, I'm desperate. I wish I had money or a car, so I could jump or OD. Every day, I'm running to the bus stop. I see the bus starting to pull away without me and I yell, wait! Wait for me! But they never do. I chase after the bus and I try to jump and grab on, but I'm just left in the dust. This life is nothing but a plague unto me, and my existence is still making the world worse. Why won't my body let me go? Why won't the bus start just a little longer so I can get on?

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate how difficult it is to finally leave this hellish world, to me it's so horrible how we are so cruelly denied the option to just pass away in peace and of course that's why I'm still trapped here. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you are so desperately searching for.