Venting It hurts so bad

[deletedaccount30982]

I just want reprieve from this hell so badly. It seems like when I do cry out for help nothing anyone offers is enough. I'm either ignored or told meaningless platitudes or offered some bullshit coping skill like dunking my fucking head in a bucket of water. I tried to tell my therapist yesterday that I wasn't doing well and my skills aren't working and I needed help… She told me she was leaving for the day and left. I don't expect someone to stay over and have a full session but even some recognition that she heard me would have been nice. Most of the time I mask how I'm feeling. It's easier than trying this struggle of asking for help and then not getting what I need. That's even more painful than sitting with it by myself.

My pain is agonizing and there's truly nothing that help can offer me. I just want to die so fucking badly. Please God I can't do this.

 

[citruslynx]

I feel you... it feels like nothing at this point can actually help me (not like anyone has tried to meaningfully help me anyways, which, cool.)

 

[CatLvr]

I was just thinking about you this afternoon. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain.

 

[deletedaccount30982]

I've almost made it to the point where they trust me to do more individual things like walks and outings by myself. All I can think about it finding a way to get a ride to a gas station during one of them and CTB.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I've almost made it to the point where they trust me to do more individual things like walks and outings by myself. All I can think about it finding a way to get a ride to a gas station during one of them and CTB.

Whats your method?

 

[divinemistress87]

DId you ever get ketamine infusions?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I was just thinking about you this morning too. i'm so sorry it's continued to be such hell on you. as @divinemistress36 asked, have you been able to secure a consultation etc? we're here for you

 

[Not Today Satan]

Whats your method?

Bruh you just picked the worst possible time and place to ask someone that question

 

[deletedaccount30982]

DId you ever get ketamine infusions?

I was just thinking about you this morning too. i'm so sorry it's continued to be such hell on you. as @divinemistress36 asked, have you been able to secure a consultation etc? we're here for you

I start them next week.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Bruh you just picked the worst possible time and place to ask someone that question

How do you figure that?

 

[Not Today Satan]

How do you figure that?

Context. It's intrusive to randomly go on someone's venting thread and ask what their method is, without getting to know them or looking through their posts first to see if that's an appropriate question.

I ain't white knighting. Most people would not be happy about someone with a brand new account suddenly asking them what their method is, out of context.

 

[CatLvr]

I hope the ketamine helps you.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Context. It's intrusive to randomly go on someone's venting thread and ask what their method is, without getting to know them or looking through their posts first to see if that's an appropriate question.

I ain't white knighting. Most people would not be happy about someone with a brand new account suddenly asking them what their method is, out of context.

Well I am a new account who's on the verge of ctb, so forgive me my impoliteness and not understanding the tribal knowledge held here. I'll try to be more sensitive to other peoples' unstated, implicit rulebooks here while I'm drowning to death. It's not like it's literally a suicide forum posted in literally the suicide discussion board, or that method questions appear in many other places here. Are you a mod? If so, I'll take that to heart and behave properly. If not, kindly stow the moral superiority.

Next time, contextually, it would be less rude to private message such aggressive and accusatory comments, just FYI. Even if the person is in the wrong. It's equally rude to call them out in such a manner, in virtual public, being offended on someone elses' behalf no less, and for a question that could simply be ignored if felt to be uncomfortable--while also not knowing what they're going through...but telling them that they should know everyone elses' backstory. Do you know mine? Or was it a one-sided thing? Obviously it was not my intention to cause discomfort. I'd seen the question asked elsewhere many times.

Again. It might be considered intrusive to call people out in public instead of DMing, especially new accounts who aren't privy to the social standards of the forum yet. And causing drama on a venting forum that you care a great deal about, yourself, might also be contextually inappropriate.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

we're here with you when you start the ket @willitpass

do you know how soon?

 

[deletedaccount30982]

we're here with you when you start the ket @willitpass

do you know how soon?

I do but for the sake of privacy I won't say a specific date. It's very soon, though.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I do but for the sake of privacy I won't say a specific date. It's very soon, though.

valid as fuck. glad to hear. when I went into my first session, shit was really bad. they assured me it would give me relief, im certainly hoping the same for you. if anyone deserves it, it's you. sending hugs.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Context. It's intrusive to randomly go on someone's venting thread and ask what their method is, without getting to know them or looking through their posts first to see if that's an appropriate question.

I ain't white knighting. Most people would not be happy about someone with a brand new account suddenly asking them what their method is, out of context.

Sure. Maybe you could help me out, then. For future reference, what are "appropriate questions" and "inappropriate questions" on this here suicide forum where people help each other die?

Do you have a list I could reference? Because, while I now understand your concern retroactively, I did what you recommended; and, I see people sending her videos of people being burned alive. Seems pretty contextually inappropriate and intrusive to me. So that kind of thing is cool, but my question was out of line, right? So I'm just trying to understand exactly what is appropriate and inappropriate on this here board.

Fill me in, please.

 

[Not Today Satan]

Sure. Maybe you could help me out, then. For future reference, what are "appropriate questions" and "inappropriate questions" on this here suicide forum where people help each other die?

Do you have a list I could reference? Because, while I now understand your concern retroactively, I did what you recommended; and, I see people sending her videos of people being burned alive. Seems pretty contextually inappropriate and intrusive to me. So that kind of thing is cool, but my question was out of line, right? So I'm just trying to understand exactly what is appropriate and inappropriate on this here board.

Fill me in, please.

This forum isn't just for people to "help each other die." It's also for people to talk about stuff that they would never share in real life, in relative anonymity. And it's for people who are suffering from mental illness to find solidarity and support. Publicly sharing where to source guns, drugs, or certain chemicals is not allowed. Recommending methods to people and encouraging people to kill themselves is also not allowed. You can't ask people to convince you or bully you into killing yourself either, and most people would not risk a ban to oblige you. While it's technically allowed to ask random people what their method is, doing it in someone's venting thread is usually not a good idea and it's frowned upon by the community as a whole.

If I recall correctly, people did not send her videos of people being burned alive. They made references to videos like that to try and dissuade her from a method that she was considering, which isn't necessarily the right thing to say either but not as wildly out of line as straight up sending a gore video. Assuming that they actually sent her a gore video though, what on earth would make that ok? I'm not stupid and you shouldn't assume that anyone is stupid either. I'm not going to blindly defend someone that actually said something egregious, just because I know them or because I'm friends with them.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

This forum isn't just for people to "help each other die." It's also for people to talk about stuff that they would never share in real life, in relative anonymity. And it's for people who are suffering from mental illness to find solidarity and support. Publicly sharing where to source guns, drugs, or certain chemicals is not allowed. Recommending methods to people and encouraging people to kill themselves is also not allowed. You can't ask people to convince you or bully you into killing yourself either, and most people would not risk a ban to oblige you. While it's technically allowed to ask random people what their method is, doing it in someone's venting thread is usually not a good idea and it's frowned upon by the community as a whole.

If I recall correctly, people did not send her videos of people being burned alive. They made references to videos like that to try and dissuade her from a method that she was considering, which isn't necessarily the right thing to say either but not as wildly out of line as straight up sending a gore video. Assuming that they actually sent her a gore video though, what on earth would make that ok? I'm not stupid and you shouldn't assume that anyone is stupid either. I'm not going to blindly defend someone that actually said something egregious, just because I know them or because I'm friends with them.

And continuing the drama and moral policing. I'm done with you. Thanks for the solidarity and moral support. You're really showing it. The drama is not worth my time.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

And continuing the drama and moral policing. I'm done with you. Thanks for the solidarity and moral support. You're really showing it. The drama is not worth my time.

Someone just gave you a direct and detailed answer to a question you asked. It seems like you aren't open to any criticism of your comments here.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Someone just gave you a direct and detailed answer to a question you asked. It seems like you aren't open to any criticism of your comments here.

Are people typically open to criticism, in your experience? That was hypothetical, because you're ignored too. Like I said. I'm done with the drama. Don't try to revive it, please. It seems like you're not open to letting things go. I already stated I understood their position and would adjust my behavior in the future. Ever since, I have not asked someone's method. While I rejected the means by which they conveyed the information rudely in multiple ways, I took what they said to heart. They did not take what I said to heart.