It feels like I'm making excuses

[arcadia]

I feel like I'm using my depression as an excuse, it can be debilitating but people around me say they've felt depressed too every now and then but are able to keep going. But for me I cant even get out of bed most days, I cant look after myself and I forget to eat for days on end. But it's always handwaved as it being something everyone experiences, and I'm starting to believe that this is true. I feel as if it's just a lack of willpower in tandem with excuses, I'm weak and I do not deserve the opportunities I have been provided with. I don't even deserve death

 

[une vie grotesque]

people often confuse being sad at times to clinical/chronical depression. not everyone had the same experience, even between depressed people. sometimes just existing is enough even if you feel useless. you don't need to be productive all the time or even at all. i too miss good opportunities due to being mentally sick, in my mind that's just the way it is. opportunities come and go.

sending hugs to u <3

 

[Seven Threads]

Everyone feels down, unmotivated, and demoralized at times. Not everyone experiences clinical depression. These are very different things, and it isn't just being lazy or making excuses.

People who are clinically depressed can often find it borderline impossible to accomplish even the most basic of tasks. Case in point: I took my cat of 17 years to the vet yesterday, so I could get a refill on her thyroid medication that she's been out of for...11 months now. 11 months of getting thinner, and weaker, and slowly wasting away, all because I couldn't find a way to get over the shame of letting it run out in the first place, or put together the nerve to actually make an appointment and keep it, because picking up the phone and dialing a number to talk to a person about time and schedules feels about as enjoyable to me as repeatedly ramming a pickaxe into my pre-molars.

11 months. That's how long it took for me to get past it. And this, even though I love my cat. She's one of the joys of my life, and she adores and trusts me completely. 11 months.

And even when I finally managed to get to that appointment yesterday, it was because my girlfriend called and made it for me.

I am depressed. This is what depression does. And so are you.

 

[saringceiling]

Hey, I completely understand what you mean. People fortunately can't fathom the gravity depression can have and when it makes you unable to function properly in society (something people already knew would happen), they ostracise you. But please don't feel like you are being in the wrong. I can just mirror what Seven Threads said at the end of their message: This is what depression does.

 

[FuneralCry]

Those other people simply cannot experience life in the same way as you, so their opinions shouldn't matter. It must be very tiring feeling trapped in that situation and it's undeniably such a cruel world that we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own.

 

[SilentSadness]

Being depressed means you have to put in more effort to do the same action, so it's the opposite of lacking willpower. Unfortunately, some of us are blighted by it and life likes to curse us at random. I am also depressed and it makes everything worse but I would want to ctb anyway, it's so annoying that people use it as an excuse to dismiss my points. I hope it's not too painful for you in the future.