Venting Isolation

[No hope]

Most people I'm sure even with mental health issues want interactions of some sort, I constantly think about suicide now and never want to b around people. I can just b however I like alone in these awful thoughts, being around people with a life and future is like torture

 

[JimFord99]

I know what you mean. Not sure if I have mental illnesses or not (probably I have) but I don't want to be around people. I want to be alone. Social disorder? Probably. So, yeah, No Hope, you are not alone.

 

[No hope]

Thank u it's makes me feel less alone

 

[JimFord99]

Oh no, by all means, you are not alone at all. Many SS members feel the same.

 

[Bpdboii]

My only sanctuary these days is SS forum. I have made some good friends here.

 

[Xaphous]

Spent most my 20s isolated, unwillingly but never knew how to break, now it feels impossible. I cant be bothered with asshole arrogant extroverts, hard to know where to find the people I'd get along well with. Doctor told me I like to isolate myself, no actually I don't. Nothing but misunderstanding and assumptions as always. I'm expected to stay sane where almost no one would.

 

[JimFord99]

Good. (I know you did) (this relates to Bdpboii's post)

Spent most my 20s isolated, unwillingly but never knew how to break, now it feels impossible. I cant be bothered with asshole arrogant extroverts, hard to know where to find the people I'd get along well with. Doctor told me I like to isolate myself, no actually I don't. Nothing but misunderstanding and assumptions as always. I'm expected to stay sane where almost no one would.

Did this happen suddenly or did you slip slowly into this situation? It went for me first slowly then faster and faster.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Doctor told me I like to isolate myself, no actually I don't. Nothing but misunderstanding and assumptions as always. I'm expected to stay sane where almost no one would.

Hear, hear.

 

[Night Sky]

Good. (I know you did) (this relates to Bdpboii's post)

Did this happen suddenly or did you slip slowly into this situation? It went for me first slowly then faster and faster.

I can really relate to this. After seeing how much of a burden I am on others repeatedly, I've been isolating myself, and it feels like it gets worse every day. Back in March I turned off notifications for all messages on every platform, be it texts, social media, you name it. Haven't read a direct message from anyone in nearly 8 months now. I got so tired of trying to reach to people I thought were amazing and reliable, only to be ignored, left on read, ghosted, or blocked out of nowhere with no explanation. Not only that, it's been over a year now since I've hung out with another human being. Not even grabbing lunch or something. The only, and I mean ONLY, social interaction I get is with immediate family (who hate me and call me a disappointment) and coworkers (who also hate me and try to avoid me). And every day feels exponentially more lonesome than the one before.

To call it mere isolation is an understatement. But funnily enough, being cut off from everyone like this and being crushed by loneliness STILL hurts less than opening up and trying to connect with someone only for them to disappear, or worse. No one can hurt you if you never let them in in the first place.

It's why trying to peacefully ctb is so appealing and comforting in a way. Knowing you can make it all stop and it can all be over, only through your own actions and willpower, gives me a kind of inner peace and helps me feel better.

 

[Notf1xable]

Personally part of the reason I isolate is so I don't get stopped or put in a facility. Most people I know even if they have dark humor won't talk about death. Or I get a the lecture of things can get better, and I'm sick of hearing it. I've been offered different "solutions" that will solve my problems but no help getting them done. I already know I want to go, but many people won't accept that some people's lives can't just improve by doing silly things that don't change the situation.

 

[Lethe]

I hate people and being around people. That's what sucks and is so contradictory about the human condition, you need social interaction or else your brain will deteriorate. But at the same time, people are unpleasant to be around.

 

[ThatOneGuy]

I just have to much anxiety last time I tried I was told I looked autistic.

 

[pole]

to my suprise, its wierd cause im the opposite of the majority here. I have to be around people, to be happy. i feel like im some sort of "lonely extrovert" in a sense. Even a day or two being literally alone in my room just absolutely ruins my day, mood and increases my depressive and suicidal ideation. Though, when im out and about, and just around people period, i feel 1000000x better. I just feel less alone, love and cherished, a type of acceptance; these types of things i struggle with, whether its accepting myself, loving and cherishing myself and life, and the thoughts of being alone. I guess just for me and some, being around peope makes you feel less alone and sane momentarily, even if its a temporary feeling.

 

[Meretlein]

to my suprise, its wierd cause im the opposite of the majority here. I have to be around people, to be happy. i feel like im some sort of "lonely extrovert" in a sense. Even a day or two being literally alone in my room just absolutely ruins my day, mood and increases my depressive and suicidal ideation. Though, when im out and about, and just around people period, i feel 1000000x better. I just feel less alone, love and cherished, a type of acceptance; these types of things i struggle with, whether its accepting myself, loving and cherishing myself and life, and the thoughts of being alone. I guess just for me and some, being around peope makes you feel less alone and sane momentarily, even if its a temporary feeling.

I'm exactly like you.

 

[pole]

I'm exactly like you.

its tough. even though i know isolation has a direct impact on my mental health and well being in a significant way; i still isolate myself push myself away from people? To me, i think its cause im afraid of getting emotionally attached to people and getting hurt somehow. but you can't expect to really think like this, if your trying to be around people and what not all the time; cause you'll eventually be proned in getting emotionally attached to people like you're friends or a significant other. such a struggle :/.

 

[I’vehadenough]

I hate being isolated, but being around people who have lives and all the shit that I used to have before this happened to me is torture

 

[andy69]

Most people I'm sure even with mental health issues want interactions of some sort, I constantly think about suicide now and never want to b around people. I can just b however I like alone in these awful thoughts, being around people with a life and future is like torture

I lost a job about ten years ago. I lost a bunch of people I thought were friends. I haven't been able to around people because of the betrayal I've experienced,

 

[Haku]

I'm someone that does not like to be around people much, but if they are people that share the same pain or emotional distress of life, or way of thinking, they are people that I like to connect with, witch is most of the people on SS, that's why I am so nice to everyone on here, because I can relate to almost everybody on this forum, but in public most people I meet are not like me, and I feel like they irritate the hell out of me, and yeah, I just cant, so that's why I am kind of a hermit. Would be nice if there was a town or city with just people like us, might make life a little bearable if there was, that's just my opinion though.

 

[Emerald]

I am very socially isolated 90% of the time but I don't want to be. I live by myself. I hate being alone. I only hate being around people because of my various issues. I'm very afraid to talk to people because I have a very weak voice, underdeveloped vocal chords, and I'm afraid of people hearing my voice. But if I had a normal voice I would try to socialize more and be more confident.

 

[Stan]

I am an official urban hermit

 

[Sleepwalking]

It's a confusing mix of emotions. I become incredibly anxious and worried when I'm faced with almost any social interaction, yet there's a part of me that aches to be around people. The most important commodity of humanity is communication and connection, and I'm completely bankrupt on both, having been commented to be quiet even by Finnish standards. And in those times where I feel like I'm finding the confidence to be myself, time and time again I do or say something that upsets or hurts someone else, and I realise that it's safest for everyone to isolate myself.
Self ostracisation is one of the most silent forms of kindness, in my personal opinion.

 

[Rdc]

I can relate to all of this. I've been slowly withdrawing from everyone. I have no friends and no one I can talk to. I wasn't like this a few years ago. I need to find the courage to ctb and end this.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I used to be very outgoing and have tons of friends. Now I'm so sad and I just don't feel like talking to anyone anymore. What's the point, what am I going to discuss ? That I feel just like a shadow of the person I was before ? That I have no will to go on? That I don't want to hear about their job, happy vacation or plans for the future, cause it kinda makes me sick I don't seem to have the ability to have those anymore ?
I know there is no getting better if I don't pull myself out of this hole I'm in. But damn I'm not even sure if I want to anymore. This all seems just so hard.

 

[passenger27]

What's really bad for me is I feel doomed to be isolated because I've had a serious case of agoraphobia for years. Meds never worked, therapy never worked, so I'm pretty screwed. Maybe it's partly because I'm bipolar. When you have enough manic spells & do enough stupid shit it tends to make you never want to leave the house. Thank the stars I have a gf & a pc. They help me see the outside world at least a little.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm lucky if I see anyone even once a week for a few minutes. And if I do they haven't got a clue how to relate to me. It's a shame I spent my entire youth learning how to interact with others and to enjoy company. I felt I'd come a long way. Now Im effectively imprisoned and alone. And yes, everything else aside,it's now undone all the effort I made to be better. People are just not emotionally clever enough to understand so I kind of want them all to fuck off.

 

[JimFord99]

I am an official urban hermit

If you feel good about it, there is probably nothing wrong with it. Not mixing with society suits me. So, don't feel too bad about it.

 

[Dazedandconfused32]

to my suprise, its wierd cause im the opposite of the majority here. I have to be around people, to be happy. i feel like im some sort of "lonely extrovert" in a sense. Even a day or two being literally alone in my room just absolutely ruins my day, mood and increases my depressive and suicidal ideation. Though, when im out and about, and just around people period, i feel 1000000x better. I just feel less alone, love and cherished, a type of acceptance; these types of things i struggle with, whether its accepting myself, loving and cherishing myself and life, and the thoughts of being alone. I guess just for me and some, being around peope makes you feel less alone and sane momentarily, even if its a temporary feeling.

I'm kind of a lonely extrovert too but I have to be around people I trust too feel better. When I'm alone I deteriorate rather quickly. It's like I want to be alone but I want to be with people too.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

Most people I'm sure even with mental health issues want interactions of some sort, I constantly think about suicide now and never want to b around people. I can just b however I like alone in these awful thoughts, being around people with a life and future is like torture

i completely isolated myself from other people in a year. i always lie when an old friend ask me to go out, i'm like "i can't because i'm busy". that's not true, i stay in my bedroom all day playing video games. the truth is i hate being with others, i hate seeing people and having them around. i hate how perfect their life is, how perfect their hands is and i fucking have small hands. i think i'm mentally ill. i'm here if you need my friend. welcome to this big and beautiful SS family

 

[Are you lost too?]

i completely isolated myself from other people in a year. i always lie when an old friend ask me to go out, i'm like "i can't because i'm busy". that's not true, i stay in my bedroom all day playing video games. the truth is i hate being with others, i hate seeing people and having them around. i hate how perfect their life is, how perfect their hands is and i fucking have small hands. i think i'm mentally ill. i'm here if you need my friend. welcome to this big and beautiful SS family ❤

I feel exactly the same. It seems like everyone has their life figured out. And honestly I don't want to hear about it, or pretend I care. Cause I don't feel like I care about anything anymore.

 

[pole]

I'm kind of a lonely extrovert too but I have to be around people I trust too feel better. When I'm alone I deteriorate rather quickly. It's like I want to be alone but I want to be with people too.

Thats exactly like me, word for word. But its bad to just blindlessly trust people, cause its hurt me a ton sadly; but were so vulnerable in wanting to feel understood and accepted that we just dont see the bad in things sometimes.