ApproachingDeath
Member
- May 23, 2020
- 32
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd suggest rehoming the cat. I cannot imagine how you would feel if one you put your animal to sleep and did not successfully CTB.
Yep and this is what psuhed me to finally do what I have been on the fence about all these years. Hoping he goes out of town soon so I can be done with this.
I do not plan to go to my vet for this. I plan to go to a different vet since my vet would know that something was wrong if I was doing this. And yes I am 1000% sure I want to end my life and suffering because of this. I have been on the fence for ever and I am only hoping I can leave that worthless man with enough pain and hate from my family to destroy the rest if his life. And this cat is very attached to me. If I am at home she is by my side and never leaves.
I have though about this for months and even tried to look the other way, but every single day I have to live this lie with him I just keep hoping that my massive amount of sleeping pills I take now just to sleep normally will end me. i havenlt got that lucky though. So since my job I once loved has turned ot crap , my lovely "bf"/domestic partner (we do not believe in marriage -now it makes sense to me why he didn't. I didn't becasue I didn't want kids and I didn't see what it would change) ruined the life we built together for a cheap piece of trash , I am in massive student loan debt for a job I now hate , and I just really am sick of everything. It will be better this way.
I do not know yet if I will put my kitty down or give her to my friend , but I at least think I came up with a reason as to why I can ask her to watch her for the night. I'll tell her my apartment is getting sprayed for fleas ( or something where she needs to be out of there) so that might be a way around putting her down.
Well Mr wonderful is getting off work 2 hours early today so my few moments of peace are over.... Hopefully I'll have a few free moments this weekend to pop on here since I can't exactly let him know my plans. Oh well guess it is time to start drinking at 5 instead of 7.
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ive said for the past 15 years that I'm going to die the same day she does. So if she goes I'll definitely have no desire to live. Although I *might* (very big maybe) have found a way to get my friend to "watch her" for the weekend I'm going to do it.
I told her me and douche head are going out of town for 3 days and are taking the dog and asked if the cat co stay with her. She said yes as long as my cat and her cat get along. I'll find out this week when they have their "play date". I'm hoping it works out because then I'll know she'll be in good hands.
I have over 10k that I'm leaving to whoever takes care of my cat if I go before her. (Yes I really set this up. At the time I was doing it in case something happened to me and the jerk at the same time; but now it's going to work out another way)
HappyMstake
Not so happy as it turns out.
- May 29, 2020
- 170
Do what you want with your life, but I'm sure there's someone you can find to give the cat to. Putting the cat down isn't a good thing to do, these are the kitty's golden years! Also I hate cheaters I'm so sorry you have to go though all of that. People can be so cruel, all they care about is themselves and their so called "needs."
Btw I hope everything works out whatever you chose no one is judging you.
Btw I hope everything works out whatever you chose no one is judging you.
Yep pretty crappy to cheat on your girlfriend of 18 years with a nasty and trashy girl. I'm hoping it works out with my friends cat and mine but it not I'm not sure what I'll do with her.Do what you want with your life, but I'm sure there's someone you can find to give the cat to. Putting the cat down isn't a good thing to do, these are the kitty's golden years! Also I hate cheaters I'm so sorry you have to go though all of that. People can be so cruel, all they care about is themselves and their so called "needs."
Btw I hope everything works out whatever you chose no one is judging you.
HappyMstake
Not so happy as it turns out.
- May 29, 2020
- 170
I went through the same thing I found out my bf of 6 yrs was cheating on me almost the whole time. I've given up on love and life. People aren't gonna change no matter how much you try.
Pryras
Last hope
- Feb 11, 2020
- 525
If you were on the fence about this longer than when you decided to end it, you should give it some more time to make sure you're not hurting yourself impulsively. How can you guarantee that he will be hurt if you're dead? I ask because I was in the exact same mindset when I first joined the forum. My one and only closest best friend hurt me tremendously. I just wanted the pain to stop and hopefully for him to regret his actions, but people are selfish and void of empathy. Someone who would intentionally hurt you after so many years has no remorse. I had my stomach pumped and was near death, my best friend was aware of this and had nothing to say. If I died he would carry on with his life like I had never existed.
Your bf is utterly disgusting for doing this to you and you deserve someone who puts you first. It's hard to imagine putting so much into something for it to just hurt us in the end, but he's not worth it. You're hurting and that's understandable but please distance yourself from this slime-bag and remind yourself just how awful he is. It's extremely difficult to do since I still struggle with this today with someone who abused his power over me, but I'm working on it. I'm still here despite all odds. You can always take your life whenever you feel it's too much but please exhaust all your options first.
he's all I had left and I know every one who knows us both will make his life miserable. His family adores me, so they will cut him off and disown me. His life in this town will be over. He's the only reason I was on the fence and between him and my job both going to crap this year him just done.
What makes me sick is wondering if this went on for the past 18 and a half years. If so I want to know how I was so blind; but I can pinpoint exactly when things changed and I think that's when it started.
ohhgeeitsme
Wizard
- Feb 5, 2020
- 694
I actually understand why you would consider this. I don't think it's heartless like others have said, because I think the reason you're considering it is because you don't want her to experience pain and you do in fact, love her. I understand that.
However, I do not think you should put her down. You can certainly find a new home for her if you try. There WILL be someone willing to take her in. You can make postings online. I am pro choice, but this is not her choice and I'm almost certain if she could choose, she'd want to live. You're the one who wants to die, not her. Let her live, please.
Edit: I should also say, even if she is old and not in the greatest health, doesn't mean SHE wants to die. When my mom was dying of cancer, so weak she needed a bedpan and help to use the bathroom, she still wanted to live. You have no idea what she would prefer. Just please, try to find her a home before you go through with your plans. I'm sorry you're going through this, and like I said, I don't think this makes you a bad person, but please reconsider.
However, I do not think you should put her down. You can certainly find a new home for her if you try. There WILL be someone willing to take her in. You can make postings online. I am pro choice, but this is not her choice and I'm almost certain if she could choose, she'd want to live. You're the one who wants to die, not her. Let her live, please.
Edit: I should also say, even if she is old and not in the greatest health, doesn't mean SHE wants to die. When my mom was dying of cancer, so weak she needed a bedpan and help to use the bathroom, she still wanted to live. You have no idea what she would prefer. Just please, try to find her a home before you go through with your plans. I'm sorry you're going through this, and like I said, I don't think this makes you a bad person, but please reconsider.
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Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
There's your answer then. You both stay alive until she dies. Killing the cat would be wrong.
rhiino
Arcanist
- May 13, 2020
- 486
I want to write some more arguments to consider.
You say your cat is very attached to you and always by your side. She might suffer when you are gone because she loves you – in the way she is capable of it. Putting her down would prevent this, she would definitely not suffer. I do not condemn that and I do not understand how anybody could. So many animals are tortured and killed for people to eat and they do not have a peaceful death. Most people do not care about that and I cannot understand how anybody that eats meat can condemn you for euthanising your cat. It has been already said here, even your cat eats meat from those animals that have been killed for food.
On the other hand you might not be able to follow through with suicide or you might survive your attempt. Your cat is then dead and life even more painful for you.
I see the pain you are in and I feel with you.
You say your cat is very attached to you and always by your side. She might suffer when you are gone because she loves you – in the way she is capable of it. Putting her down would prevent this, she would definitely not suffer. I do not condemn that and I do not understand how anybody could. So many animals are tortured and killed for people to eat and they do not have a peaceful death. Most people do not care about that and I cannot understand how anybody that eats meat can condemn you for euthanising your cat. It has been already said here, even your cat eats meat from those animals that have been killed for food.
On the other hand you might not be able to follow through with suicide or you might survive your attempt. Your cat is then dead and life even more painful for you.
I see the pain you are in and I feel with you.
I have no desire to live. I'm taking more and more sleeping stuff when I have the next day off and hoping I'll get lucky. I monitor my heart rate with my fit bit and it's got as low as 25.... so I'm hoping I'm close to the right dose so I'll just never wake up. Maybe if jerk head thinks it's an accident he'll give my cat to my friend or my mom.
I have a note already wrote and locked on my computer. I have one trust person who knows the password. She doesn't know what I'm planning, but I told her I had a note to let everyone know what jerk face did if I was to die from corona or anything like that. So.... I'm hoping I'll just take enough and this pain will end.
From what he's said he's going out of town in 3-4 weeks, so hopefully by then I'll have either passed "by accident" or my 14 month supply of 2 different kinds of pills will be enough to do it.
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autumnal
Enlightened
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,950
As you probably know, it's almost impossible to die from an overdose of modern sleeping pills. It's also unlikely the addition of your other medication would make a difference. Even if you did succeed, however, the note on your computer would be found and people would assume your death was most likely a suicide anyway. And in your estimation, that would make your boyfriend less likely to give the cat to someone who would care for it.
So even with your original plan to put the cat to sleep hopefully well and truly cancelled, the question still remains as to how are you going to ensure it is taken care of after your death? Although my previous responses took a very dim view of your proposal, one also had a link to an idea which may have been useful. Did you read it?
I have prescription muscle relaxers, pain meds, and sleeping pills. I think the amount I have would be enough to stop my heart. I didn't read it because it wasn't opening on my phone. I have another idea I might look into. There's a place in my town that takes in older animals if their owner passes. I might sign her up for that. It'll wipe my savings, but at least she'll have a place to go.
I don't care anymore about anything but what happens to her, ending my suffering, and making sure everyone knows what that pos did.
Would it be innappropriate if I asked to know the precise amounts and of which drugs? I have some experience in drug OD's for ctb'ing. I would agree it is not only very unsuccessfull, but if you fail you risk lifelong physical injuries.
Re; mr/ms cat, don't do that please. It's a cat. Someone will likely take care of it in your absence, I'm sure an rspca type place is nearby?
It's also out of place for me to say this, but don't ctb to get revenge or throw someone else under the bus, I don't know the circumstances or anything so I'm probably waaay off base but don't ctb to get revenge or anything
Best wishes sending hugs/good vibes
I have tizanidine 4mg 900 pills, 420 ambien, then random other things 17 hydrocodone, 30 gabapentin, 30ish of a benzo I used to take before I switched to the one I'm on now. That's all I have set aside, but I can get 60 Xanax, 30 more hydrocodone; and I have probably 60 ish random different pills way up in the medicine cabinet.
it's not only about revenge. I was going to do this eventually in Switzerland with a dr assisted place, but now with this thing that happened I don't plan to wait around long enough. I also plan to go to sleep either in a bathtub full of water or with something tied around my neck so it'll slowly help.
I've waited and thought about this since January and I finally have decided it's time. all of these pills are from old prescriptions I've had saved up so the only thing will be is if I can get a refill on my hydrocodone. If not I'll be ok without it I just want the extra stuff to make sure. Also depending on when he goes out of town I might have even more of everything since I'll be due for a "refill" soon.
autumnal
Enlightened
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,950
Here is the post in question. Please do read it:
A possible solution for pets and suicide
You are relatively unlikely to have a successful attempt from those medications, even in combination or even with increased quantities. Unfortunately, the strength of your belief that they will stop your heart is not going to make this into a reality.
I think those plus the other stuff I have access to will be enough. The few other things are definitely the big ones. Not posting about them on here.
But I like the falling asleep in water idea. Thinking of what to tie around my neck to weigh my head down.
Just gotta make sure I'll have enough food and water for the dog for up to 2 days and some pee pads out for her.
autumnal
Enlightened
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,950
You would likely be wrong though, unfortunately. Although I am glad you have followed the mass of recommendations here against euthanizing your cat, you seem less able to do the same when it comes to following advice on your suicide method. Is there perhaps some reason behind that? Do you perhaps have an ambivalence towards suicide that you are not admitting to yourself?
It also seems a little unusual that you began this thread with the predominant concern being your cat, and are now seemingly not even responding to questions on that topic.
Let me be blunt. Overdoses with pills are very rarely successful. You cannot sleep through drowning, no matter how many pills you take. Both of these concepts are completely fanciful.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
An educational read about drowning, by my wonderful @Superfluous
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/drowning-my-method.17545/#post-332956
Cashewmilk
Specialist
- Mar 10, 2020
- 352
Am I the only one who's wondering why she's wanting ctb because of a cheating boyfriend? Girl you need to get away from him! And believe me I'm also worried about the cat, I'm postponing my own ctb because of my pets.
I'm very sorry, but that has a very very unlikely success rate unless you have never used those meds (no tolerance - even then I think this qualifies to be a highly likely ineffective attempt), which as I mentioned, can leave you with permanent brain/nerve damage.
You mentioned 2 other big things, unless knowing what they are and amounts I can't comment. It probably will not work and unlike other methods if you fail you face a worse life than now (it's possible, believe me).
So I'll go over each issue I have (edit; in progress bear with me);
1-Timing - The amount of pills you have to swallow is an unbelievably large amount, are you able to co-ordinate the timing so you won't just pass out mid attempt? Coz I think that's what'll happen here and you'll wake up in a pile of vomit.
2-Nausea - Do you have any anti-emetics? The filler in the pills alone would make me throw up, forget about the opiates on top (used to be a heroin addict, I threw up a lot), is there any guarantee that you won't take all these pills and just throw them all up?
3-Mr/ms cat-
4-You have a dog?!- edit2- No no you can't do this, leaving out pee pads for the dog? Figure out something for the pets, otherwise I want nothing to do with this
5- ......
I dunno what else to be but bluntly honest, what is likely to happen is while taking the pills you will either;
pass out and fail the attempt
throw it all up, maybe passing out in the process
take enough to be incredibly lucky, only to wake up in a hospital
Benzos (or gabapentin/pregabalin) don't really slow down your ability to do stuff, I've taken more than enough to die and wandered out in my street half naked yelling stuff. They're really unpredictable. I think this is a bad idea.
4-You have a dog?!- edit2- No no you can't do this, leaving out pee pads for the dog? Figure out something for the pets, otherwise I want nothing to do with this. A dog locked in a house for 2 days?!! Imo that's animal cruelty.
Regarding your initial question. Yes this is wrong. Please do not do it before allowing safe access for your animals to escape.
There are better ways.
Yeah guys I'm out. I can't (willingly) sort this out or advise either way
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I guess I'll find out. My cousin seemed to have pretty good luck with it and he only took 1/4 of the stuff I have.
I have a dog and she'll be taken care of. She'll have enough food and water to last for 2 days and it should only be 30 hours at most that the dog is alone. My friend is "watching" my cat that weekend so that's solved.
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Thank you. I have my date now. My plan is that Saturday around 1. That way I can take the dog out and she'll only be alone for about 18 hours. She's good about going on potty pads if we put them down. (She refuses to go out if it's raining at all so we've had to use potty pads at times)
my friend is watching my cat that weekend and she'll end up keeping her. I just need to finish my note and make sure the world knows about what both of those two people did. (Plus the other things but I mostly want to make sure he pays)
he's definitely not the only reason, but he's the reason I decided not to wait till a later date. It's going to be a few weeks, but I'm trying to think of a way to have someone post here for me once it's over. Idk how though bc I'll just set off alarms if I say anything to anyone.
Put down your miserable cheating boyfriend and live happily ever with your cat?
DeathIsTheWayOut99
Warlock
- Jun 6, 2020
- 798
I can relate in a way. I hope this doesn't sound too cryptic but here goes
So, sometimes when I think of suicide I think of offing myself and my younger brother (now I have no plans of harming my brother) however its because I know if I die then my brother will be left with my abusive dad and my whole family is abusive. Knowing what he'd be facing I'd hate leave him behind knowing what would happen to him.
I won't say you're wrong in how you feel. I have no way of knowing your situation and only you know if better than anyone. However, I think what would be nest for your cat is to give her to someone who would take care of her. She would suffer without you here, but having a loving family taking care of her is better than being alone. As for your boyfriend, wanting to take revenge is also normal. Suicide for me is a way to take revenge on my abusive family, bullies, and everyone who hurt me. I hope what I wrote is ok....
So, sometimes when I think of suicide I think of offing myself and my younger brother (now I have no plans of harming my brother) however its because I know if I die then my brother will be left with my abusive dad and my whole family is abusive. Knowing what he'd be facing I'd hate leave him behind knowing what would happen to him.
I won't say you're wrong in how you feel. I have no way of knowing your situation and only you know if better than anyone. However, I think what would be nest for your cat is to give her to someone who would take care of her. She would suffer without you here, but having a loving family taking care of her is better than being alone. As for your boyfriend, wanting to take revenge is also normal. Suicide for me is a way to take revenge on my abusive family, bullies, and everyone who hurt me. I hope what I wrote is ok....
my friend will take amazing care of my cat. She is getting everything in my bank account and my car to sell which will more than cover the rest of her life.
And yes this is partly to get revenge on my Pos cheating bf, but he's the reason I stopped wanting this. And now realizing the past 18 and a half years were a lie make me not want to be around anymore.
I'm not sure how I'll make it until my date, but I'm thinking of taking the 2 week "corona" vacation at my job. (If we feel like we are at risk of catching the virus they are giving us 2 weeks off (paid)... this ends at the end of the month). Since I can spend those 2 weeks with my cat and go tell my dad "goodbye" I might do that. Plus 2 weeks will give me more than enough time to write a note detailing everything that lead me to this. Including my pos bf sleeping with a pos trashy &$:$. I want them both to pay and since I prefer death over prison this is the best choice.
Im hoping part of his cheating self still cares about me and this destroys him. Hell be screwed financially at least since I make waaay more than him, and all his health benefits are through my job.
autumnal
Enlightened
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,950
While I don't necessarily share your opinion about your reasons to suicide, nor the planned vengeance involved, I am truly, genuinely glad that you have made such caring arrangements for your cat.
Thank you for taking all of our opinions on board.
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