Is there anything left?!

[Lostindespair3]

The last four years has straight up worn me out…I've had 38 ECT treatments, 30 TMS treatments, 16 ketamine treatments, 50 hyperbaric O2 sessions, 30 some neurofeedback sessions, countless hours of therapy, 20 different meds, 3 hospitalizations…..and all this shit is expensive and exhausting, not to mention relatively harmful!!…I'm done….I just want to die now…doesn't seem like there's anything left to try.

Anything that's helped you that I haven't given a shot?

 

[littlelungs]

Holy shit, you've been through so much. I'm so sorry. Can I ask what it is you're trying to treat, so that maybe I can offer a suggestion more specific to you instead of just randomly picking from some of the (likewise) many things I've also tried? I understand if you don't want to get specific, though... it's just that I would suggest something different based on different conditions and symptoms.

Also, just a disclaimer: I've got a fuck-ton of issues and (clearly) nothing I've tried has personally helped me manage all of these symptoms to a reasonable enough degree and/or is sustainable in the long run, which is a big part of the reason as to why I want to die, but maybe I or someone else could think of something. I'm also not a doctor or any other kind of health professional, just another person who's suffering and has been through the wringer with treatments as well.

I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. I know how it feels to be desperate, beaten-down and at a loss after trying everything you could think of/get your hands on, and it's awful... such a helpless, hopeless feeling. I really feel for you.

 

[Lostindespair3]

Holy shit, you've been through so much. I'm so sorry. Can I ask what it is you're trying to treat, so that maybe I can offer a suggestion more specific to you instead of just randomly picking from some of the (likewise) many things I've also tried? I understand if you don't want to get specific, though... it's just that I would suggest something different based on different conditions and symptoms.

Also, just a disclaimer: I've got a fuck-ton of issues and (clearly) nothing I've tried has personally helped me manage all of these symptoms to a reasonable enough degree and/or is sustainable in the long run, which is a big part of the reason as to why I want to die, but maybe I or someone else could think of something. I'm also not a doctor or any other kind of health professional, just another person who's suffering and has been through the wringer with treatments as well.

I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. I know how it feels to be desperate, beaten-down and at a loss after trying everything you could think of/get your hands on, and it's awful... such a helpless, hopeless feeling. I really feel for you.

Thank you so much for your reply. Your validation truly means so much…my friends and family don't get how much effort I've put in- and for little to no improvement- which is why I've been so suicidal the past year. Oh in my first post I left out I've also done 2 IOPs (intensive outpatient programs)!

I have bipolar disorder and have struggled with depressive episodes since college—now I'm 40. The past 4-5 years it's been depressive episodes alternating with manic periods, although the depression always seems to last longer and is far more extreme than the mania.

Thanks again for your words, and TIA for any suggestions you may have. I'm willing to try for a few more months (if there are options)…then I have a 600ft bridge picked out.