Is there anyone you want to hurt by ctb?

[RacilyDank]

Everyone I know will be hurt by my death, especially my family and closest friends, and it's horrible.

There's one person however that I really want to be hurt by it and think about how badly they hurt me, maybe even blame themselves (although not entirely their fault). Call me bitter but that's how I feel!

Anyone you actively want to be hurt by your death and why?

 

[Miss clefable]

No

 

[MEoDP]

There are times when I want to CTB just to teach my Father a lesson whenever he's being unreasonable,but I don't really think he's a bad person and any ill will I have towards him is never long lasting.

Should I ever do the deed,he won't be the primary reason.

 

[QueenEtna]

Yeah, myself.

 

[RacilyDank]

Does that make me an awful person?

It's not the reason I want to ctb, but their actions are a huge contributing factor towards the way I feel now and I'm tortured by it.

They were the closest person in my life, my companion, best friend and former lover and they abandoned me at a time when I needed them the most for their own selfish reasons.

 

[Fcancer]

No, it's the furtherest thing from what I want. Really the main thing stopping me at this point, because I need to get everything in order so they're not left to sort out my affairs making things even worse for them.

 

[Lunar]

There's no one that I intentionally want to hurt. I mean there's plenty of people that have hurt me before, but they've long since been out of my life and I highly doubt I'm even a passing thought to them anymore.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I used to want to, to make the girls who bullied me at school have some issues later on.. But now when I die they probably won't even hear about it.

 

[Abel]

No, but that's because the only people who would be hurt by my death are my parents... There's no one else who would give a single shit if I died.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

No, not in particular. If I had a method that would look like a natural death, I would go for it. The sanctions against suicide are so irrationally strong that nobody "minds" if you keel over from a heart attack, but Heaven help you if you'd like to go there on your own schedule.

Fortunately, the list of people I imagine would be hurt by to any degree is rather short.

 

[Ben]

No definitely not. If it's your intention to hurt somebody by the news of your passing, it's likely to be more effective then you hoped for.

 

[BjartNO]

Call me bitter but that's how I feel!

It's human nature. If that's how you feel that's how you feel.
Personally I feel that except for the 2-3 people I have a good relationship with, no one will care.
A bit contradictory - only hurting the ones you don't wanna hurt.

 

[Insert a name]

Everyone I know will be hurt by my death, especially my family and closest friends, and it's horrible.

There's one person however that I really want to be hurt by it and think about how badly they hurt me, maybe even blame themselves (although not entirely their fault). Call me bitter but that's how I feel!

Anyone you actively want to be hurt by your death and why?

I would like to think that at the point I exit this world I put every bad experience I had here to rest. I just care about myself being peaceful now, I can't summon the feelings to hurt someone else on my way out.

 

[Deivis]

YES!

My bitch mother. My farewell note will be of a one word.... "ENJOY!"

 

[Ccre]

YES!

My bitch mother. My farewell note will be of a one word.... "ENJOY!"

Lol, I've thought about the one word note too. But I don't want to hurt/ spite anyone I just want to go.

 

[Flife]

Does that make me an awful person?

It's not the reason I want to ctb, but their actions are a huge contributing factor towards the way I feel now and I'm tortured by it.

They were the closest person in my life, my companion, best friend and former lover and they abandoned me at a time when I needed them the most for their own selfish reasons.

The exact same thing happened to me, and I feel the same way. But no, I don't think that makes us awful people. Anyone would want that, it's only normal. But I have conflicted feelings. Sometimes I just want them to be happy while other times I want them to suffer as much as I did.

 

[IG959]

Yes and no.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

No. Not even my worst enemies as I am doing it entirely for myself.

 

[Morning Angel]

No. I wish it didn't hurt anyone, actually. But for a while, I was hurt enough by the abandonment of certain people that I felt the same as you. Months passed and my attitude changed. As things wind down into finality, I have let go of all anger, bitterness, or resentment. It's all melted away and now it's only acceptance, understanding for their actions, and pity for those I am leaving behind.

 

[Kev]

I would have never admitted it at the time, but when my suicidal thoughts were in its early stages, they were extremely emotional and irrational and I wanted to die for a lot of the wrong reasons, including wanting certain people to feel bad about how they wronged me/neglected me in some way. As my depression worsened, my suicidal thoughts became less erratic and more calm and rational, but darker too. No longer is it fueled by resentment for those around me, now I simply am so tired of suffering that I just want to go peacefully, make others' lives better by being an organ donor, and minimize suffering in the aftermath. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just have felt so bad for so long that it has extinguished what little hope or will to live I might've had. I just want to give up and sleep.

I have a very extensive note that explains why I want to CTB and how it is nobody's fault and telling them that my suffering is over, and now the only thing they can do is prevent their own suffering so my dying wish is that they just try to forget me and continue with their lives. I can only hope that the people I love won't blame themselves and will at least partially understand why I was suffering so much and why I gave up.

 

[soonVERYsoon]

Not necessarily. I was legally adopted twice...was in a few foster homes in between, and the last adopted family placed me in a boys home. Icve been fucked up for a while, and had a good run for 5 years, then eventually collapsed and have been suffering for a while. Found my biological family and have been floating my depression, amxiety, mental health issues amongst them all and am just tired of "living."

 

[TengoK]

It's a long way down my list of reasons - the main one is that I want and need to be out of this hell hole - but I'd be lying if I said there weren't three people I want to hurt. My father and my sister, whose actions and behaviour have made my life hell for years and think only about themselves (I'm pretty much estranged from moth of them and my only other relative, my mother, died a couple of years back). There is someone else too - a brief former partner who never told me she'd dropped me and I had to enquire it of her ages later (I'm on the autism spectrum so social cues like that are ridiculously slow for me). She said we would be the best of friends forever though, I needed that, and although I tried to keep it going, she dropped me. So yeah, pathetic I know, but I can't help but hope they're somehow affected by my ctb.

 

[sanctionedsuicide]

The exact same thing happened to me, and I feel the same way. But no, I don't think that makes us awful people. Anyone would want that, it's only normal. But I have conflicted feelings. Sometimes I just want them to be happy while other times I want them to suffer as much as I did.

Hello from another Montréalais :)

My thoughts on the matter would be different if I believed in some sort of afterlife. If there were a way to experience the joy of a specific someone else's suffering, I'd want to maximise that. But since I won't be around to enjoy it, I guess I hope everyone will be as happy as they can.

 

[weedoge]

I used to want to, now I just hope people understand more than anything, but I'm sure that won't happen and by trying to help people understand I'll make myself look more crazy. It is what it is.

 

[bigj75]

The sooner I'm out the better . Why waste time on offing someone else before yourself.

 

[Mr2005]

Everyone I know will be hurt by my death, especially my family and closest friends, and it's horrible.

There's one person however that I really want to be hurt by it and think about how badly they hurt me, maybe even blame themselves (although not entirely their fault). Call me bitter but that's how I feel!

Anyone you actively want to be hurt by your death and why?

I frequently want to hurt my parents because of their complete and utter failure to help me when I was asking for it. That's a bitter reason to do it though. I just want it over with and I don't care enough what they think. Only person I feel bad for is my girlfriend who is blameless in all of this

 

[Lovemykids]

Hello from another Montréalais :)

My thoughts on the matter would be different if I believed in some sort of afterlife. If there were a way to experience the joy of a specific someone else's suffering, I'd want to maximise that. But since I won't be around to enjoy it, I guess I hope everyone will be as happy as they can.

Glad to see someone from same city

 

[Flife]

Hello from another Montréalais :)

My thoughts on the matter would be different if I believed in some sort of afterlife. If there were a way to experience the joy of a specific someone else's suffering, I'd want to maximise that. But since I won't be around to enjoy it, I guess I hope everyone will be as happy as they can.

Hey there! How did you find out I live in Montréal?

 

[Lovemykids]

Hey there! How did you find out I live in Montréal?

You mentioned Montréalais lol
I'm near Verdun

 

[raskolnikov]

I understand you in wanting just one last time where you win against whoever hurt you.

But if you got to this point, in search of justice by the means of taking your life, well you have already lost. I've lost too.

Not because you will die and he/she will continue living. In fact your death could very well hurt him/her in different measures. But this person won't even understand your battle.

I realized this very well. My super-narcissistic and sadistic mother is so self-centered and auto-referential that hasn't even anymore memory or conscience of all the hate, all the blows she inflicted to me in the years. While I still can count the wounds, day for day. If I ever bring an argument on how she acted in the past (totally useless, I know, but I do only if I have to answer because pressed, I prefer to not speak at all), her pre-programmed answer is: "I don't remember". Disarming.

So, in all honestly I will do it for me and for me only. At least I won't have remorse. Me and myself only will be my last thought before dying. Not that I ever was a vindicative person in any case. I would have just wanted to live my life. I wanted to be nice and respectful to anyone. I wanted to love life and people. But for some reason hate, fear and whatever from people ruined me and now here I am. Oh, well.