Venting Is there an escape?

[Zaragoza]

Hello everyone. This maybe a long post, but I need to get this out of my chest. I will be thankful if you put your time and read it. I'm feeling extremely suicidal right now and I wanted to know if there is any escape from chronic loneliness. Now when I say chronic loneliness, I really mean it. Some people don't have a partner and feel lonely, some people are far from their family and feel lonely, some may even be surrounded and feel lonely, but in my situation, I have absolutely no one besides my alcoholic dad who is never sober and my extremely depressed mom that never speaks. I have absolutely nobody in my life and I have barely said any words in probably 2 weeks. I'm completely invisible to people around me and I think it's due to both my autism and my hideous looking face. I'm a short ugly man that is balding and I was born kinda deformed, meaning my skull didn't shape like a normal human. I always wanted to know the reason that I was cursed this badly, but now I don't care. I have no reason to live besides my mom. When I was in school, I always got bullied and was isolated. In college, I'm also a victim of bullying and changing majors haven't helped. I've came to the realization that I'm the problem, not others. Is there a way to escape this? Is there a hope that another human being will find enough worth in me to take time and talk? I don't know how much more should I wait.
Thanks for reading.

 

[EternalShore]

Hello everyone. This maybe a long post, but I need to get this out of my chest. I will be thankful if you put your time and read it. I'm feeling extremely suicidal right now and I wanted to know if there is any escape from chronic loneliness. Now when I say chronic loneliness, I really mean it. Some people don't have a partner and feel lonely, some people are far from their family and feel lonely, some may even be surrounded and feel lonely, but in my situation, I have absolutely no one besides my alcoholic dad who is never sober and my extremely depressed mom that never speaks. I have absolutely nobody in my life and I have barely said any words in probably 2 weeks. I'm completely invisible to people around me and I think it's due to both my autism and my hideous looking face. I'm a short ugly man that is balding and I was born kinda deformed, meaning my skull didn't shape like a normal human. I always wanted to know the reason that I was cursed this badly, but now I don't care. I have no reason to live besides my mom. When I was in school, I always got bullied and was isolated. In college, I'm also a victim of bullying and changing majors haven't helped. I've came to the realization that I'm the problem, not others. Is there a way to escape this? Is there a hope that another human being will find enough worth in me to take time and talk? I don't know how much more should I wait.
Thanks for reading.

I'm really sorry, clicmsf. :( I've been getting isolated by others in college but being so lonely and still being bullied as a college student is truly terrible! >_< I can't really do anything about it but may you continue well in your studies or whatever you decide to do~