Honestly, what's keeping me here is my fat ass cat oscar. Every time I look at him, I think about how he's going to spend the rest of his life waiting for me to come back. Not understanding why I left, and that is so heartbreaking. I'm dead inside, I don't know what to do anymore.
NOTE : This is a reply to Kringle's Curse only, not a comment to the OP.....
If you CTB, would he be well looked after by others that love him ?
If so, then although I understand the sadness of it, I think it would still be reasonable for you to go ahead, if you decided that was what you wanted.
And if not, then you can have him euthanised.
I know that sounds terrible, but in truth it isn't, because :
It will be painless and peaceful, plus he'll be spared the unhapiness of having to miss you.
He'll also be spared future suffering of ill health and cat old age.
And even better, you both cross over together into the afterlife.....
Plus a cat is a spiritual being, and that being would understand that you needed to do what you did, and that you took the best action for both of you.....
Note : I do have a cat that I love, so I'd like to think that I do understand....