Help Is it right to ctb at night at home while my mother is asleep?

[kekakek]

(I am using a translator.) I have been thinking about this for a long time and I am very unsure whether it is right. I am scared of the unknown, of what will happen when she finds me hanged in the morning. After all, she loves me. What if something happens to her, which I really don't want. On the other hand, can a person who constantly has to put up with my stupid antics and who constantly lashes out at me because of my inability to do anything really be so upset by what she sees that something serious happens to her? I can't give myself any answer to this question.

Most likely, this sounds very selfish, and I understand that. But I am very tired of putting up with everything that is happening, tired of hurting people close to me. I live with my mother and have no opportunity to go anywhere. For another attempt, I have to wait until I am home alone for a long time, which happens extremely rarely. In this situation, I plan to simply lock the front door of the apartment, and then she will find me not alone, but with an ambulance crew, and most likely with her friends, who will help her if necessary. I don't know what is best to do: as I described above, or to continue waiting until I am alone.

This is the first time in my life that I have written such a detailed text, so I apologize if it sounds strange or unclear. I have always found it difficult to express my thoughts.

 

[jakethesnake]

Your Mom is the angel of your life. Don't do that to her :)

 

[iveseenfootage]

You seem to care about your mother (you wouldn't ask this question otherwise), so think of how she'd inevitably perceive that room and her house for the rest of her life. I'd recommend against it

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

The question isn't if it's right, the question is if it's wrong. You know the answer to this question already.

 

[kufajoy]

Hey you care so much about your mother that I think you already know the answer. Hope you feel better soon. Good luck