Venting Is it really wrong to not leave a suicide note?

[gardenoflonely]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

 

[if_i_make_it]

I agree. When we've been routinely hurt and dismissed by people in our lives, a note can be just another instance of placating their emotions. In my case, they know exactly what they've done, it's not my responsibility to protect them from the consequences of their own behavior, when I just want to rest.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

I won't leave one, I don't feel the need to say goodbye

 

[peacebenow]

do what feels true to you.

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

like your completely letting go of caring what anyone says or thinks or the real truth because you already know the truth and the fight is over.

 

[rainy.tears]

I would guess the reason to leave a note would be to make things easier for anyone you love or care about, to help them understand and to reassure them that there was nothing more that they could have done. If I die I want to cause as little suffering as possible to the ones left behind. Of course, I can appreciate that you might not have anyone you care about enough to leave a note. It also makes sense that you wouldn't want to be misunderstood given you say you've not been understood by others so far in life.

I hope you make the choice that feels right for you :)

 

[dreamofnofuture]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

I don't think it's bad. You don't owe anyone an explanation on your way to peace.

If I end things, I'll leave a note for the police, saying, "I killed myself. Sorry for the inconvenience" Hopefully they'll close the case, as I think they'll only investigate if they think foul play is involved in the country I live.

I could be wrong, but that's what I'd do as I don't want them going through my phone. It's highly personal, notes and stories and stuff. I know it won't matter when I'm dead, but it'll still feel like an invasion of privacy knowing it could happen beforehand.​

I won't leave one, I don't feel the need to say goodbye

Me neither. It's not really necessary either, imo. I think ppl just do it bc it's expected at this point. Everyone leaves suicide notes, right? Another reason is because they feel like they need to explain themselves and placate loved ones for nicety's sake, really.​

 

[gardenoflonely]

I agree. When we've been routinely hurt and dismissed by people in our lives, a note can be just another instance of placating their emotions. In my case, they know exactly what they've done, it's not my responsibility to protect them from the consequences of their own behavior, when I just want to rest.

This is how I feel in my case too honestly, to not only hurt me but then also expect enough grace to be let into my personal life and deep inner thoughts..it's just whatever at this point. I seriously am having trouble caring. I've begged and pleaded to be listened to and no one who could change certain things did.

 

[thelostautistic]

I don't think it's wrong. It's just a personal choice at the end of the day. I personally want to leave one if I decide to go because I have things to explain and questions to answer but that's my choice.

 

[insectontrial]

Personally, I'll be leaving one, but I will say this. I came across a video on social media which was about suicide prevention, and I then read the comments, one of which said "I believe all people who commit suicide should leave a note explaining why". I felt rather uncomfortable reading that. People do not *owe* anyone a justification for it. Some people might not have had the best family life and feel they wouldn't deserve an explanation, and that's fair enough.

 

[aceHardlight]

A death without answers would be harder to stomach for loved ones... When I CTB I'll certainly leave a comforting note

 

[VegasLyra]

A death without answers would be harder to stomach for loved ones... When I CTB I'll certainly leave a comforting note

Same here. I've been browsing r/SuicideBereavement and I don't want to cause too much pain for my loved ones

 

[SASU-KE]

The beauty is you don't have to worry about anything when you're dead. Absolutely nothing. You escape everything. So if you don't feel like doing a certain thing, don't do it. And if you feel they don't deserve an explanation, there's no need to leave a note either.

 

[name2come]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

Of course that's okay. A note is an expression of you but if you don't want to express anything, even if just because you have no faith others will listen to you, that is obviously valid. I'm sorry you feel like you've never really been heard or listened to. I've experienced that a lot, too, and I'm also struggling with whether to write a note. I'm writing something down for myself but I'm unsure if I want to make it into My Note or just do it for my own edification. That could be an exercise you could try. You can never control how other people will feel or respond. That's on them, for better or worse.

 

[Dejected 55]

Despite what you see in movies and TV, all the studies show that most people don't leave notes. I think it's maybe like 1/3 or something close to that worldwide average. Could be more common in some cultures or with some times of depression... but by and large more people die without leaving notes.

For me it's a matter of this... anyone in my life that I wanted to tell anything, I've told them. A large part of why I don't want to be alive anymore is because nobody really cares or sees me... and I've tried to interact and connect. So, there really isn't anything else left to say. I've also told anyone I cared about when I attempted previously and they know I'd like to do it again and be successful next time. So, there's nothing worth leaving a note to tell anyone.

 

[Dena]

I won't leave a note. My family already knows what I'm fighting. I've distanced myself from them and in the end everyone moves on. They will too. No need to soothe my conscience or their pain. I will leave them money for the funeral, though. That's fair

 

[Bishop]

You owe no one an explanation. At least I don't feel I do.

 

[starboy2k]

Let your corpse be the note. Your dead body will say everything that needs to be said.

 

[gardenoflonely]

Same here. I've been browsing r/SuicideBereavement and I don't want to cause too much pain for my loved ones

That sub is actually what inspired this thread in the first place. Someone commented there saying it was rude not to leave a note because it meant that they were worth nothing. I wondered if it was more to it than just that.

Of course that's okay. A note is an expression of you but if you don't want to express anything, even if just because you have no faith others will listen to you, that is obviously valid. I'm sorry you feel like you've never really been heard or listened to. I've experienced that a lot, too, and I'm also struggling with whether to write a note. I'm writing something down for myself but I'm unsure if I want to make it into My Note or just do it for my own edification. That could be an exercise you could try. You can never control how other people will feel or respond. That's on them, for better or worse.

I will try this later today thank you for the suggestion genuinely.

Despite what you see in movies and TV, all the studies show that most people don't leave notes. I think it's maybe like 1/3 or something close to that worldwide average. Could be more common in some cultures or with some times of depression... but by and large more people die without leaving notes.

For me it's a matter of this... anyone in my life that I wanted to tell anything, I've told them. A large part of why I don't want to be alive anymore is because nobody really cares or sees me... and I've tried to interact and connect. So, there really isn't anything else left to say. I've also told anyone I cared about when I attempted previously and they know I'd like to do it again and be successful next time. So, there's nothing worth leaving a note to tell anyone.

I didn't know this. I always thought the numbers were the other way around. But I feel the same, I just don't think there's anything left for me to say. Besides one or two things everyone already knows all the situations I've been in, I'm pretty open about my mental state irl so I feel silly reiterating struggles I've already talked about more than once. Nothing should be shocking. I don't even blame anyone truly I'm just over everything

 

[bakenohana]

No, it's not wrong. You don't owe anyone in your life a note. even if it upsets them after your death, you shouldn't feel pressured to give people an explanation after you die. maybe this is mean to say, i dont know, but their grief is their grief, not anyone elses. you'll be dead, the way people react when you're dead has nothing to do with you, because you're no longer there. if you don't want to leave a note you don't have to. movies and tv always like to portray it as the same note before they die trope but that trope hardly reflects reality. not everyone writes a note and thats okay

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

Not wrong at all. I have done some light research that suggests that leaving or not leaving a note doesn't have much of an impact on the grieving process of those left behind.

I am going to write them mainly for practical reasons.

 

[Aflame5926]

Not wrong at all. I have done some light research that suggests that leaving or not leaving a note doesn't have much of an impact on the grieving process of those left behind.

I am going to write them mainly for practical reasons.

i didnt do research at all but im surprised with this to be honest.

i really thought and believe leaving some answers could help them even a tiny bit.

i really would expect people without answers be more confused and then dragging the process out.

i wills still do it regardless because i believe in it but still this is pretty interresting

 

[Dejected 55]

The answers you would want to leave are best left while you are still here. Once you're gone, you aren't there to talk to... so the people who don't care will not care whether you leave a note or not and the people who do care will have just as many questions after your note as they had before. That's why I always advocate for telling people how you feel while you and they are still here. That's the only way the message gets through.

 

[ImInPain]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

I have never left notes. I don't think there is anything I could say really. I don't think anyone would truly understand me and I don't think it would help with any sort of grief.

 

[gardenoflonely]

i didnt do research at all but im surprised with this to be honest.

i really thought and believe leaving some answers could help them even a tiny bit.

i really would expect people without answers be more confused and then dragging the process out.

i wills still do it regardless because i believe in it but still this is pretty interresting

i think it will always be difficult for someone without suicidal thoughts to understand how it feels to have them. people can try their best but no note or anything will ever make someone understand something so complex. i just think it will always be a lot for them to wrap their head around because so much of life is revolved around keeping yourself alive and fearing death. it will just always be incomprehensible to certain people, just like how continuing on like this is incomprehensible to me.

 

[enne]

i've tried multiple times, i never know what to say in general or directly. i've cried out so much it should just be apparent. i also don't want anyone to feel targeted accidentally. i know what's to come. they know who i am. a note won't change the issue.

 

[thousandislandstare]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

I think people do it out of courtesy or to give themselves a sense of closure... I feel compelled to leave one myself, but it's totally irrational, because I would be gone and it wouldn't matter. You don't really owe it to anyone.

 

[v4r0]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

I'd say even if it's just for yourself to try to put your thoughts coherently on paper coul be a nice way to reflect on why ctb feels like the right answer for you as a last journal entry of sorts.But I'd say that whatever choice you make base it on what feels or doesn't feel right for you mainly and gives you peace. Best wishes

 

[Bishop]

I agree. When we've been routinely hurt and dismissed by people in our lives, a note can be just another instance of placating their emotions. In my case, they know exactly what they've done, it's not my responsibility to protect them from the consequences of their own behavior, when I just want to rest.

Though a note with simply a drawing of the middle finger would be satisfying

 

[Unworthyhuman]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

some things are better left unsaid, they know what they did and didn't do. Leaving someone a note that contributed to the situation is giving them a gift they don't deserve.

 

[DashofPepper]

ive been thinking for a while about what id write and everything that ive come up with just feels so self indulgent and makes assumptions about other peoples feelings. last time i set up a scheduled message but this time unless i can think of anything of any importance i might just leave no note