Discussion is it fair to date if you're suicidal

[yukisopathetic]

i have a crush on someone but i can't get over whether it's fair to start dating when i want to kill myself. i don't think it would be fair to the other person since i know i might make them rlly sad. but also what if love makes me magically super happy. that's probably not gonna happen but idk. it's selfish right
ik ppl do date even when they're suicidal. i've never been in a relationship but do u guys tell ur partner abt ur si?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

You already know the answer: it would be unfair to them. I have trouble understanding being suicidal and being interested in pursuing a relationship at the same time, but maybe that's just me. Two opposite paths. Imo this would be best figured out in therapy.

 

[8hsjyd]

It somewhat depends on the severity of your ideation and the likelihood of your committing, but ultimately I'd suggest that entering a relationship in such a scenario without notifying your partner beforehand is unfair to them and immoral. There truly does exist an immensely profound trauma which is inflicted on the partners of suicide victims. Entering a relationship knowing already that this is likely to occur and not telling them beforehand is an arguably malicious withholding of information semi-akin to deception. From another perspective, relationships have trust and understanding as foundational tenants and they simultaneously require substantial investments along material and psychological dimensions. Entering a relationship with the onset intention of cultivating these things from your partner only temporarily, especially when that is unbeknownst to the partner, can come off as using that person instrumentally or selfishly.

This stuff isn't to say that someone wouldn't agree to enter a relationship with someone who's suicidal, but rather that that person should be given an opportunity to make an informed choice by being respected and told upfront. I also think it's very commendable that you're giving due consideration to these things; it shows that you're trying to do the right thing.

 

[Cepheuss]

Honestly no but i cannot talk me and my ex boyfriend are both suicidal and in a weird spot we broke up because he was gonna kill himself and felt guilty about having a girlfriend whereas when i attempted i didn't break up with him. We're still the exact same as before though nothings changed. Enough about me though id say dont get into a new relationship if you plan on killing yourself however if theres potential a new relationship could help you feel better then id say its worth a shot.