Is engaging in hookups the way to overcome an emotional attachment to a particular woman?

[motel rooms]

My gay friends… well that is a TOTALLY different story. All my gay friends are arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental, and very abusive actually… especially among lesbians. I don't know why homo folks are build/born this way… on the whole of course… they're not all like this.

What? You don't know why "homo folks are built/born to be arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental and very abusive, especially lesbians"? If you don't think we're all like that, why would you say that homosexuals are built/born to be nasty? All your gay friends are bad people... You've never had a gay friend in your life, you're lying about it so you can shit all over us.

Why gay men can't stop spreading HIV is beyond me.

You must live in a big city and hang around arrogant people. In smaller towns, where people don't judge based on looks/wealth nearly as much, hooking up/dating/marrying people outside your league is way more prevalent. I have friends with smoking hot gfs/bfs/spouses. Like, it's so prevalent people open talk about it.

Yeah, sure, most small-town people belong to another, infinitely more virtuous species. All they care about is a person's "soul".

To answer the OPs initial question, yes, hooking up will get you over an ex very quickly.

Only if you didn't love the person.

 

[motel rooms]

My gay friends… well that is a TOTALLY different story. All my gay friends are arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental, and very abusive actually… especially among lesbians. I don't know why homo folks are build/born this way… on the whole of course… they're not all like this.
I was with exwife for 18 years… over half my life. It was a great relationship… with great sex, etc. I've been with several guys, before and after her. I couldn't imagine having a long term relationship with them. Hooking up… EXTREMELY easy though… and gay men are very beautiful :)

Why gay men can't stop spreading HIV is beyond me. It's not that hard to take prep and use a condom.

Before you try & deny you're homophobic, tell me if you think whites who say this kind of stuff are racist -

"All my friends from Southeast Asia are ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded, greedy, shifty & backstabbing... Especially the Vietnamese. I don't know why folks from that part of the world are built/born this way. On the whole, of course (= for the most part/mostly/largely/usually/basically/in general). They're not all like this, just the majority of them.

Did I mention I'm friends with these horrible people? That means I'm an extraordinarily good man. I've even fucked several Southeast Asians despite the fact that they can't stop spreading diseases (some of them are very beautiful)."

How could a homophobic guy have sex with a gay man, you ask? The same way misogynists can have sex with women.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

No. I think that just make things worse

 

[LongtimeLoser]

Before you try & deny you're homophobic, tell me if you think whites who say this kind of stuff are racist -

"All my friends from Southeast Asia are ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded, greedy, shifty & backstabbing... Especially the Vietnamese. I don't know why folks from that part of the world are built/born this way. On the whole, of course (= for the most part/mostly/largely/usually/basically/in general). They're not all like this, just the majority of them.

Did I mention I'm friends with these horrible people? That means I'm an extraordinarily good man. I've even fucked several Southeast Asians despite the fact that they can't stop spreading diseases (some of them are very beautiful)."

How could a homophobic guy have sex with a gay man, you ask? The same way misogynists can have sex with women.

Sorry… I meant to type "NOT on the whole"… or a very small portion… and based on my experiences.

That said, I meant for my entire post to be written from the viewpoint of hooking up and relationships… not anything to do with if people are good/bad/immoral/etc.

That said, yes, ALL of my gay friends/acquaintances are very open on how "nasty" they are to people they view as "out of their league" when it comes to sleeping around. The gay community around me are very outspoken… I feel a lot of it is because they have worked so hard for their rights.

I have been with several guys, and in my experience, they are rarely interested in "traditional" relationships. They are more interested in "open" relationships… especially as time goes by. Personally, I like having casual sex with men with absolutely NO strings attached :) I'm not complaining.

My niece is a lesbian. All three of her relationships have included extensive abuse. She's been thrown from a balcony, had her arm broken, had her face rearranged numerous times, etc. I have had lots of conversations with my gay gal friends. They are very open regarding their "passionate" relationships.

I am speaking only from my experiences and therefore painting a picture with a wide brush I know.

I see in your profile that you are gay. I'm sorry that you took my post personally. I don't consider myself a part of the LGBT community because I don't like labels. If I were forced to label myself it would be bi (the rarest of breeds/flavors) and in the past I received a lot of hate for that, but that's a totally different story.

 

[motel rooms]

Sorry… I meant to type "NOT on the whole"… or a very small portion… and based on my experiences.

Not buying it. You said "homo folks" are built/born arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental & very abusive, especially lesbians.

That said, yes, ALL of my gay friends/acquaintances are very open on how "nasty" they are to people they view as "out of their league" when it comes to sleeping around.

ALL of your gay friends/acquaintances are cruel, superficial assholes? ALL of them?

My niece is a lesbian. All three of her relationships have included extensive abuse. She's been thrown from a balcony, had her arm broken, had her face rearranged numerous times, etc. I have had lots of conversations with my gay gal friends. They are very open regarding their "passionate" relationships.

You think that throwing other women from balconies, breaking their arms & rearranging their faces is something that lesbians routinely do when they get "passionate"? Are you fucking insane?

 

[Weebster]

No. I think that just make things worse

How come?

 

[LongtimeLoser]

Not buying it.

okay

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

How come?

Usually with me it makes me miss the person even more, because it's not the same and I would end up regretting it

 

[dethrowned]

But humans aren't sharply divided into only 2 categories when it comes to looks: attractive & unattractive.

This. This. A hundred times this.

I'm a long-time homo, who grew up feeling very unattractive, but that's because I was the only Korean male around for 20 miles or so. Also, even now, Black women and Asian men are the poorest fit for supposed traits of western attractiveness. This is mentioned in one of Issa Rae's books.

I'm of the gay culture that hooked up, and I likely had hundreds of such encounters with no STIs, because I practiced safer sex and rarely mixed dangerous sex with mind-altering drugs. You don't have to do every act every time for a good time.

Did I have more opportunity hooking up with men than women? Yes. But some parts of the internet would lead you to believe everyone is in it for the "game," which is only defined as making "you" a loser. Whereas I know I'm not for everybody, but I'm very much for some people.

Here's a secret: women like sex, and not just for stability, with a boyfriend, or when scheming. Unlike every woman described by a dating coach/incel forum, the women I know like many different types of men (but collectively, not _each_ woman).

So, yes, Trey Songz is a fine specimen, but most of the women I know avoid physical abusers. Or they don't want someone straining to see his reflection in the mirror during sex. Or something charming about a guy in a particular moment led to opportunity.

The question is do you need only physical or also a mental and emotional connection. Many people say the former because they suspect it's easier, but it's a temporary cure for desire and not loneliness.

Also, whether hooking up or trying to hook up, sometimes being forced to navigate the world helps me get out of my head, which is often quite heavy.

 

[come to dust]

I have guy friends that are 1s, 2s, 3s, and 4s that have smoking hot gfs/wives. Same for gal friends. IME hetros date/marry outside their "league" ALL the time. Same goes for careers/earning potential/wealth. Hooking up wise… the same.

My gay friends… well that is a TOTALLY different story. All my gay friends are arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental, and very abusive actually… especially among lesbians. I don't know why homo folks are build/born this way… on the whole of course… they're not all like this.

I was with exwife for 18 years… over half my life. It was a great relationship… with great sex, etc. I've been with several guys, before and after her. I couldn't imagine having a long term relationship with them. Hooking up… EXTREMELY easy though… and gay men are very beautiful :)

Regarding the condom discussion… other than with my exwife, I've used a condom 100% of the time. Sex without a condom is gross to me. My friends have had dozens and dozens of STDs… and several have gotten HIV. Why gay men can't stop spreading HIV is beyond me. It's not that hard to take prep and use a condom.

You must live in a big city and hang around arrogant people. In smaller towns, where people don't judge based on looks/wealth nearly as much, hooking up/dating/marrying people outside your league is way more prevalent. I have friends with smoking hot gfs/bfs/spouses. Like, it's so prevalent people open talk about it.

I know it can be tough for some people, but moving outside the area where you were born or to a smaller town makes a huge difference re the dating pool. This is my experience.
To answer the OPs initial question, yes, hooking up will get you over an ex very quickly.

Although, I'm a moderate liberal, in my experience, being slightly conservative will land you a woman a lot more easily than if you're a liberal. Straight women, although they will say otherwise out in the open, are really becoming more attracted to men with traditional values.

I'm a guy, so of course I like the current hookup culture, but my gal friends keep expressing to me that are longing for men that want to settle down. Many have good jobs with men that stay home with the kids. I can't believe how popular stay at home dads are now.

You hit the nail on the head. I'm gay, so looks are 10x more important than personality will ever be. On top of that, I live in a city where everyone is desperate to swipe you over for the next person on the app. As an ugly gay man in a city, there is no hope for the likes of me.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

You hit the nail on the head. I'm gay, so looks are 10x more important than personality will ever be. On top of that, I live in a city where everyone is desperate to swipe you over for the next person on the app. As an ugly gay man in a city, there is no hope for the likes of me.

There's nothing to be ashamed of in being gay and placing looks as the most important factor in the men you seek out. LGB men and women worked hard for their rights and place in society. They are a different breed and deserve to live their lives as they wish… with no judgement… as long as they don't shove their lifestyle down society's throat, just as hetros shouldn't either… same as with the faithful (I'm trying to be nice here, lol).

I grew up in a small town, moved away to go to university, build a career/family/etc, then moved back to take care of, and spend time with, my mom and dad before they died.

I much prefer dating men that live in the more rural areas. In my experience, they are leaps and bounds less arseholes/judgmental/etc. They are just as beautiful and good in the sack, they just don't feel the need to prove anything to the other people around them… just the men they are having a relationship with.

I'm sorry you got the short end of the stick regarding looks. I was blessed with good looks as well as smarts. Although I grew up dirt poor, as in the poorest of the poor, it's just my health that has me down and just about out.

 

[TheBroken]

Use protection ..... just sayin'

 

[motel rooms]

LGB men and women worked hard for their rights and place in society. They are a different breed and deserve to live their lives as they wish… with no judgement… as long as they don't shove their lifestyle down society's throat, just as hetros shouldn't either…

No, we are not a different breed. You don't even realize how offensive you're being. And what is "shoving our lifestyle down society's throat" supposed to mean? That I shouldn't hold hands with my husband & kiss him in public? Those who have a problem with it can look the fuck away.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

And what is "shoving our lifestyle down society's throat" supposed to mean?

Projecting that you and your kin are better than another subset of people. Acting as if you had to "work harder" to achieve your place in a society and deserve to tell the how whole world of your hard fought struggles through long public displays/parades/etc. PDA, marriages, etc… that's not shoving anything down peoples' throats. That's just living life. Telling me I'm not a good person for not wanting to hear about your fucking struggles is what I'm sick of.

Again, i'm probably the rarest breed of all… I'm bi. I've had deep, loving, intimate relationships with both men and women. I've never had a long or committed relationship with a man… but I've never intentionally sought one out either. Mainly because I've been constantly harassed for being bi… from the LGB community no less, but I digress.

I realize tone is hard to discern from text. I apologize if you take anything I write personally. I was repeatedly raped as a young child by a couple of guys. I've never blamed them for what they did to me. Mainly because as I got a little bit older I realized they too were probably sexually abused. As a result of my real life experiences, including everything I've discussed in posts, I find it easy to express exactly how I feel. I'm not going to make excuses or pussy foot around. I am what I am.

Use protection ..... just sayin'

I'm still a firm believer that hooking up is the fastest way to get over an ex. Sometimes hooking up can lead to a something more… maybe even a friendship.

Using protection… I couldn't agree more. STDs and HIV spread so easily nowadays. Having yourself checked isn't hard, and there's no shame in it. If you're looking to participate in the slut culture, using prep is a must… especially if you're gay. I have a few friends that have HIV all because they thought using a condom wasn't as fun/risky/cool basically. They said this shit out loud back in the day :(

Personally, I blame porn. Im in my early 40s, so I didn't grow up with porn until my mid 20s… even then it was extremely rare… unless you were actively looking for it like kids today. Therefore I find using a condom sexy af. Kids nowadays almost don't even consider it sex unless you're not using one. It's gross really, but I digress.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Yes you do this and you will ruin your ability to be attached

The problem with sleeping around and having many options is your brain will constantly pull you in all directions. You don't know who to text or who to look for because there is too much choice

 

[motel rooms]

Projecting that you and your kin are better than another subset of people. Acting as if you had to "work harder" to achieve your place in a society and deserve to tell the how whole world of your hard fought struggles through long public displays/parades/etc.

I don't think I'm better than anyone just because I happen to be gay. You're obviously convinced you're better than homosexuals. You called us a "different breed" & said that "homo folks are built/born to be arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental and very abusive, especially lesbians". If that isn't homophobic, I don't know what is. Btw, claiming that people from small towns are much better than those who live in cities is arrogant, rude & judgmental.

You also said this:

LGB men and women worked hard for their rights and place in society.

So, which is it? Did LGBTQ folks have to work hard to stop being treated as second-class citizens or not? What do you care if we want to march in parades? Transphobia & homophobia are still widespread in many countries & US states, & you don't get to tell us to shut up about it already. Not everyone in the world lives in the Netherlands or in fucking San Francisco. The Irish march on St. Patrick's Day & talk about the struggles they faced in the past; does that bother you too?

Telling me I'm not a good person for not wanting to hear about your fucking struggles is what I'm sick of.

That's not why I called you prejudiced. If you don't want to hear about our "imaginary struggles", cover your ears. I'm free to call you on your lame shit on this forum all I want.

I was repeatedly raped as a young child by a couple of guys. I've never blamed them for what they did to me.

I'm sorry you were repeatedly raped as a young child. I can't believe that's not one of the reasons you want to die. I'm 41, I've interacted with many fellow victims of childhood sexual abuse on various forums over the years, & people who've never blamed/resented their molesters are extremely rare. Those who manage to truly forgive their abusers usually have to work on it very hard for years.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

I don't think I'm better than anyone just because I happen to be gay.

I'm not talking to you personally. You keep mentioning "I" or "us". You are taking my posts personally and/or from a stance that you have to protect some community. You also keep choosing individual words that I type… like "breed" or "homo" and take them personally… like I'm talking about a breed of cattle or calling you a homo when I'm just abbreviating like hetro or bi. I don't know the first thing about you, and I don't really care to. You are reading tone into my posts. Please don't. I have already said I'm writing from person experience, and realize I'm painting with a wide brush. Please stop taking my posts personally, and I will stop replying to your posts.

Those who manage to truly forgive their abusers usually have to work on it very hard for years.

I'm not going to get into my childhood any deeper than I already have regarding the SA I endured. I have already dealt with all that trauma. I will say that the cycle of abuse has been stopped and that's the best possible ending of that situation :)

 

[motel rooms]

I'm not talking to you personally. You keep mentioning "you" or "us". You are taking my posts personally and/or from a stance that you have to protect some community. You also keep choosing individual words that I type… like "breed" or "homo" and take them personally…

Nope.

I don't know the first thing about you, and I don't really care to. You are reading tone into my posts. Please don't. I have already said I'm writing from person experience, and realize I'm painting with a wide brush. Please stop taking my posts personally, and I will stop replying to your posts.

I'm not interested in you either. I'm not reading tone into anything. There is no context in which it's acceptable to say that "homo folks" are built/born to be arrogant, rude, egotistical, judgmental & very abusive, especially lesbians. Stop making homophobic comments & I'll stop replying to them. Do we have a deal?

I'm not going to get into my childhood any deeper than I already have regarding the SA I endured. I have already dealt with all that trauma. I will say that the cycle of abuse has been stopped and that's the best possible ending of that situation :)

Congratulations... I'm glad you've gotten rid of all that trauma. You're a fascinating outlier.

 

[come to dust]

There's nothing to be ashamed of in being gay and placing looks as the most important factor in the men you seek out. LGB men and women worked hard for their rights and place in society. They are a different breed and deserve to live their lives as they wish… with no judgement… as long as they don't shove their lifestyle down society's throat, just as hetros shouldn't either… same as with the faithful (I'm trying to be nice here, lol).

I grew up in a small town, moved away to go to university, build a career/family/etc, then moved back to take care of, and spend time with, my mom and dad before they died.

I much prefer dating men that live in the more rural areas. In my experience, they are leaps and bounds less arseholes/judgmental/etc. They are just as beautiful and good in the sack, they just don't feel the need to prove anything to the other people around them… just the men they are having a relationship with.

I'm sorry you got the short end of the stick regarding looks. I was blessed with good looks as well as smarts. Although I grew up dirt poor, as in the poorest of the poor, it's just my health that has me down and just about out.

Yes there is. It's superficial and shallow, often gay male preferences are narrow, elitist or racist. I'm not going to endorse such a mentality. You're attractive which is why you don't see the impact of this.

I really don't care if gay people shove their love life in your face or not. But I'm sick of the gay community being looks focussed.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Engaging in hookups is a good way to get herpes, which could make it harder to gat a long term relationship. It's also a good way to get 18 years worth of child support payments- condoms break, this is a real risk- child support is no joke, it's really expensive- I knew someone who almost ctb'd due to child support payments. You're better off developing good friendships until you find a girl you want a long term reloationship with.

Herpes is not sexually transmitted. It is a detox reaction and it just so happens to be at the genitals and lips mainly. Basically when the body can't release toxins the usual routes it makes the blisters to get rid of it. You will often see posts on reddit under herpes and often the people posting are completely bewildered as to how they got herpes when they hadn't slept with anyone new or etc. they assume it's been dormant but the truth is it is not a virus. It is a healing crisis of the body. There's a book called the cruel hoax called herpes I have the pdf saved but it explains about herpes and how u can reduce or eliminate the outbreaks through detoxing. I have genital herpes and often wondered why my partners weren't getting it. We weren't using protection and were not careful. If your partner starts to get breakouts around the time they are with u it may be coincidental. There are pple who have genital herpes who have never had sex.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

Yes there is. It's superficial and shallow, often gay male preferences are narrow, elitist or racist. I'm not going to endorse such a mentality. You're attractive which is why you don't see the impact of this.

I really don't care if gay people shove their love life in your face or not. But I'm sick of the gay community being looks focussed.

I didn't mean shoving their love life in your face, as in public displays of affection. I meant their attitude that they are better than others and because they were suppressed so much for so long that they are allowed to spew hate onto folks they see as below them… looks, culture, careers, etc. I can't easily put it into words. You either understand where I'm coming from or you don't. You either agree or you don't.

I don't know how else to say this, but the gay community in the bigger cities is very judgmental. Gay guys outside the bigger towns don't place so much emphasis on looks. In my experience it's because they aren't pressured by their peers in the "LGB community". I know I'm painting with broad strokes, but it's just the way it is.

 

[motel rooms]

I didn't mean shoving their love life in your face, as in public displays of affection. I meant their attitude that they are better than others and because they were suppressed so much for so long that they are allowed to spew hate onto folks they see as below them… looks, culture, careers, etc.

Jesus Christ, not all gay men who live in big cities are gorgeous, vain, fashion-obsessed snobs with fabulous careers... You're buying into a ridiculous stereotype promoted by lame movies & TV shows like some clueless teenager. Big-city gay men come in all shapes & sizes. All people, small-town folks included, are capable of spewing hate on those they see as inferior in some way.

 

[come to dust]

I didn't mean shoving their love life in your face, as in public displays of affection. I meant their attitude that they are better than others and because they were suppressed so much for so long that they are allowed to spew hate onto folks they see as below them… looks, culture, careers, etc. I can't easily put it into words. You either understand where I'm coming from or you don't. You either agree or you don't.

I don't know how else to say this, but the gay community in the bigger cities is very judgmental. Gay guys outside the bigger towns don't place so much emphasis on looks. In my experience it's because they aren't pressured by their peers in the "LGB community". I know I'm painting with broad strokes, but it's just the way it is.

I think for the true uglies like me, rural men aren't going to be any more sympathetic. Sure, there is less choice around, but not so much to stop make gay men stop being shallow.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

I think for the true uglies like me, rural men aren't going to be any more sympathetic. Sure, there is less choice around, but not so much to stop make gay men stop being shallow.

The "less choice" scenario is becoming rarer and rarer. When I was in high school in the mid 90s, with class sizes of 30 or so, there was always at least one gay guy. When I graduated there were half a dozen gay men throughout the grades. Now it's triple that at a minimum. I'm talking small Midwest towns with school sizes around 250 max.

Dating apps have made all the difference in the last 10 years. Hooking up is easier than ever. I don't think I have any gay friends that are ugly, but I can assure you I have some that I have no interest in pursuing. That's not the same as saying they are hopeless in achieving love, because they are in fact in relationships. I'm just not comfortable saying someone is ugly. I steer clear from that type of person.

People in small towns are simply more friendly. It's been my experience that small town gay communities are remarkably more friendly. Especially to each other. It has less to do with lack of choice but I'll agree that it may play a role. Maybe my experiences are way off; they are simply my experiences. YMMV

 

[come to dust]

The "less choice" scenario is becoming rarer and rarer. When I was in high school in the mid 90s, with class sizes of 30 or so, there was always at least one gay guy. When I graduated there were half a dozen gay men throughout the grades. Now it's triple that at a minimum. I'm talking small Midwest towns with school sizes around 250 max.

Dating apps have made all the difference in the last 10 years. Hooking up is easier than ever. I don't think I have any gay friends that are ugly, but I can assure you I have some that I have no interest in pursuing. That's not the same as saying they are hopeless in achieving love, because they are in fact in relationships. I'm just not comfortable saying someone is ugly. I steer clear from that type of person.

People in small towns are simply more friendly. It's been my experience that small town gay communities are remarkably more friendly. Especially to each other. It has less to do with lack of choice but I'll agree that it may play a role. Maybe my experiences are way off; they are simply my experiences. YMMV

If you have no interesting in pursuing someone because they are physically unappealing to you, in my eyes that's the same as finding them ugly. That's what I mean when I say I am ugly.

Gay men in small towns are still looks focussed. Anyway, the only way I'd meet such men is on looks focussed apps. And as I mentioned earlier, hooking up is only easy if you are not ugly.

 

[Weebster]

If you have no interesting in pursuing someone because they are physically unappealing to you, in my eyes that's the same as finding them ugly. That's what I mean when I say I am ugly.

Gay men in small towns are still looks focussed. Anyway, the only way I'd meet such men is on looks focussed apps. And as I mentioned earlier, hooking up is only easy if you are not ugly.

Why did natural selection select the ugly gene to continue?

 

[come to dust]

Why did natural selection select the ugly gene to continue?

There is no ugly gene. There are thousands of looks based genes, and certain permutations and combinations of them represent ugliness. So ugliness keeps remanifesting.

 

[Weebster]

There is no ugly gene. There are thousands of looks based genes, and certain permutations and combinations of them represent ugliness. So ugliness keeps remanifesting.

It assaults my eyes at every turn. Why can't everyone be aesthetic?

 

[LongtimeLoser]

There is no ugly gene. There are thousands of looks based genes, and certain permutations and combinations of them represent ugliness. So ugliness keeps remanifesting.

Just as certain permutations and combinations represent beauty. I don't think people can control what they deem as beautiful, just as much as they can't control what they find unappealing… both from an aesthetic and from a personality point of view. I believe both nature and nurture are at play here as well.

If you have no interesting in pursuing someone because they are physically unappealing to you, in my eyes that's the same as finding them ugly. That's what I mean when I say I am ugly.

Gay men in small towns are still looks focussed. Anyway, the only way I'd meet such men is on looks focussed apps. And as I mentioned earlier, hooking up is only easy if you are not ugly.

I understand where you're coming from.

For me though, the concept of ugliness includes personality. For me to call someone ugly, or say they're being ugly, means that person is choosing to react to a situation in a very mean/rude way.

I'm used to using the rating system, from 1 to 10, if asked how attractive someone is.

 

[come to dust]

Just as certain permutations and combinations represent beauty. I don't think people can control what they deem as beautiful, just as much as they can't control what they find unappealing… both from an aesthetic and from a personality point of view. I believe both nature and nurture are at play here as well.


I understand where you're coming from.

For me though, the concept of ugliness includes personality. For me to call someone ugly, or say they're being ugly, means that person is choosing to react to a situation in a very mean/rude way.

I'm used to using the rating system, from 1 to 10, if asked how attractive someone is.

You're right that nurture plays a part in beauty standards, and that's why a lot of beauty standards are changeable and not innate. The ideal fatness of a perfect body has changed over time for example, hundreds of years ago, fat people were considered more attractive as fatness was a signal for wealth. These days with worldwide media heavily focussed on white people, they are also considered the supreme beauty standard. But these are not fixed, and people can change what is beautiful (gay men never voluntarily will though)