Is anyone exited to ctb?

[longlifetolive]

Not suicidal ideation, like geniune excitement for ctb. I feel like sometimes i get super exited to ctb but idk why, and sometimes it freaks me out.

 

[TheHolySword]

No. It's just depressing.

 

[Terribledays]

I get what you mean tbh.

 

[bipolar22]

It's the knowledge being able to take control back ftom life and knowing the pain finally comes to an end. Like having a release date from prison. Term s called pre suicide euphoria. quite common. Therapists look out for these signs.

 

[mysticatedwine]

sometimes I get really excited about the project, doing it all right. like something i really wanna get invested in.
the rest of the time, no. i'm just scared

 

[longlifetolive]

It's the knowledge being able to take control back ftom life and knowing the pain finally comes to an end. Like having a release date from prison. Term s called pre suicide euphoria. quite common. Therapists look out for these signs.

This is exactly what it is. Thank you!

 

[Prism]

I wish I was. I'm just scared of it.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

No, for me it's depressing and scary.
No true relief only the end of everything ( can't be sure about that ).

 

[Promised Heaven]

I just see it as another thing that I want to be done at the end of the day.
Maybe a bit of anticipation, but not excitement.

 

[amomentspeace]

I am scared shitless of it. Funny enough not the being dead part, just the dying part and the potentially failing part. Brain damage is my biggest fear.

 

[padda]

No. Death feels okay for me, but dying feels scary. The possibility of failure, and facing the consequences. But also the possibility of feeling regret.

 

[amomentspeace]

But also the possibility of feeling regret.

like an afterlife?

 

[longlifetolive]

No. Death feels okay for me, but dying feels scary. The possibility of failure, and facing the consequences. But also the possibility of feeling regret.

I agree with you, im worried that in the last moments, when I cant turn back, I will regret it but it would be too late.

 

[padda]

like an afterlife?

Hmm no, if I believe in an afterlife I don't think I would feel regret. I mean more the last seconds/ minutes, i feel like time would go so slow and I would have so much to think, and maybe even highlight the positives in life. People aren't ment to cbt, and usually the brain and the body should fight and to everything to stay alive.

 

[amomentspeace]

Hmm no, if I believe in an afterlife I don't think I would feel regret. I mean more the last seconds/ minutes, i feel like time would go so slow and I would have so much to think, and maybe even highlight the positives in life. People aren't ment to cbt, and usually the brain and the body should fight and to everything to stay alive.

makes sense, I'm also scared of what my brain will do on my last moments, if I could I would go for an instant method rather than something like SN

 

[padda]

makes sense, I'm also scared of what my brain will do on my last moments, if I could I would go for an instant method rather than something like SN

Yes i want to go instant, since i know how my brain can be all over the place. I haven't read much into SN, since it's almost banned to buy in my country but it seems to be popular here. Why is it you choice?

 

[longlifetolive]

People aren't ment to cbt, and usually the brain and the body should fight and to everything to stay alive.

from what ive heard there is always regret no matter what. Your SI will do everything to save you due to your whole brains purpose being to keep you alive.

 

[padda]

from what ive heard there is always regret no matter what. Your SI will do everything to save you due to your whole brains purpose being to keep you alive.

Yes exactly. Tbh it would be fine since i would be gone after it. But the thought of it is quite of putting for me, since you already go through so suffering.

 

[grapevoid]

Tbh- I felt zero regret with my failed attempt before I passed out. Had I been successful I don't think I would have ever had the chance to feel regret because I was out and wasn't thinking of anything at all.

 

[amomentspeace]

from what ive heard there is always regret no matter what. Your SI will do everything to save you due to your whole brains purpose being to keep you alive.

noooo dont tell me that.. That;s terrible and so scary :(

 

[longlifetolive]

Tbh- I felt zero regret with my failed attempt before I passed out.

wow really. i dont know how to make myself feel this way. When i attempted i felt immediate regret and once i got down i started balling my eyes out. I wanted to die so badly but my brain didnt let me.

 

[wiggy]

Supposedly it's not uncommon for some people to be particularly cheerful and energetic in the day(s) leading up to suicide. I imagine that behavior exists between the mania/depression cycle though, so most won't experience it.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

At the moment I'm quite impatient to get it over with. Not necessarily excited, but desperate for the peace.

Of course, that's easy to say now. I'm sure that when the time comes I'll feel nervous, which is only natural. I just need to keep in mind the reasons behind my choice.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Not really. I feel like someone marching towards a losing fight, I feel defeated, I feel guilty; but I feel it is my duty according to my feelings and to what my life can offer in the future. It's depressing, it was the last resort, I never wanted to die, but I will now that I can't get the life I wanted.

 

[grapevoid]

I often wonder if I even have the capability to feel excited anymore… about anything hahah. Everything feels the same. I sometimes feel sorrow or sadnesses but a lot of the time I just feel like everything just is… even ctbing

wow really. i dont know how to make myself feel this way. When i attempted i felt immediate regret and once i got down i started balling my eyes out. I wanted to die so badly but my brain didnt let me.

Ya I have a strong disassociating game