Is anyone else's reason due to a combination of financial troubles and mental illness?

[Andthesunsank]

Never really stressed about money, that might stem from apathy though. The plan was going homeless when my parents kick the bucket.

Now I find myself working full time, sadly not rich lol. But idk, I guess it could be mental illness as a reason to ctb. Whenever I go sober for a few days suicide is rampaging in my head. Its like just get it over with, so exhausting to constantly talk and talk.

Also questioning reality, saw a spider zipline up a webline, thought it was badass but it was very fast and no sign when I actively looked for it. I throw away food if I didnt open it or left it sitting out on the non zero chance of poisoning.

So I cope with drugs and self harm cause my brain doesn't need to think. Holy shit apologies, this was quite the rant and got off topic.

 

[Final Escape]

Never really stressed about money, that might stem from apathy though. The plan was going homeless when my parents kick the bucket.

Now I find myself working full time, sadly not rich lol. But idk, I guess it could be mental illness as a reason to ctb. Whenever I go sober for a few days suicide is rampaging in my head. Its like just get it over with, so exhausting to constantly talk and talk.

Also questioning reality, saw a spider zipline up a webline, thought it was badass but it was very fast and no sign when I actively looked for it. I throw away food if I didnt open it or left it sitting out on the non zero chance of poisoning.

So I cope with drugs and self harm cause my brain doesn't need to think. Holy shit apologies, this was quite the rant and got off topic.

You must be not sober lol!

 

[ithappens]

If you live in the USA life isn't worth it even WITH the benefits. I applied for SS through my doctors, therapist, and psychologists/mental help team. It took months to get accepted, and now I get a whole $800 a month to live on. For those that don't live in the US, that's enough to maybe pay 1/3 of the rent somewhere in my state, and of course if I move away from this state that's going to cause all sorts of panic and paperwork with the government. Not to mention I can't leave the state, my family lives here and I am autistic and broke, and therefor dependent on them. I make just barely enough money each month to pay part of the rent, the internet bill, and buy a little cheap food. 3 days after my paycheck it's all gone and I'm back to stressing for the rest of the month about how I'll afford any necessities that might come up, because I won't be able to afford them. To top it all off, if the government found out my family was helping me by providing food for me since my paycheck is woefully inadequate, they could choose to cut back on how much I make each month because "family contributions". I am attempting to attend college around my significant impairments, but it's hard without access to a car. I can't save up for one, and even if I managed to get my hands on a cheap, used one, if my "assets" go over $1000 the government could cut off my SS benefits or swoop in and seize my "royalties". This means that I have to rely on rides from my grandparents (who I live with), and we live out in the boonies 30 minutes from any nearby cities. It's obvious they're getting frustrated having to cart me around, but they're just as stuck as I am on what to do. My grandmother is also disabled and on a fixed income, and my grandfather is the only one with a job that could possibly do something to make more like work overtime, but like most people is woefully underpaid and also getting angry about the rut we are all stuck in.

I can't go live with other family members because the only other family I have is my mother who abused me as a child, and who also lives in section 8 so she can't afford me and she'd be kicked out if I were discovered. So here I am, draining what little resources my lower middle class grandparents had for their retirement, sinking them into poverty like an anchor. All in all, even with disability benefits you won't be able to survive. I'm coming to the conclusion that the only solution for people like me is to commit suicide, because it's obvious this society hates me and views me as a nuisance.

TLDR; if you live in America disability doesn't pay enough and you're still screwed, except this time around you get to live in an even smaller, more confined cage. Yippee.

 

[Deivis]

Depression is an illness

Yes, but my wicked mind tells me that a good half of "depression" cases is nothing more than procrastination and laziness. It's a vicious cycle.

"Feeling low -> No desire to make money -> Distraction with stupid videogames and Youtube -> feeling even lower -> no desire to make money, no desire to learn -> numbing yourself down even further with more Youtube and Reddit".

Who could agree, type "+1" ! (don't, it's a joke).

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Because of physical illnesses, declining mental health, no emotions anymore, feeling demented, and I have to ctb in the beginning of March because I run out of money so unless I win some money playing the lottery once every week it looks like I will have to ctb in a couple weeks.