Is anyone else 100% doomed and certain to ctb within the next year?

[lymestolemylife]

I need to read more about SN to find out how reliable it is. If it's pretty reliable I'll make an attempt sooner or later.

I'd like to try a couple more treatments before I give up.

I don't think anyone can help me though. I have neurological problems from Lyme Disease. The doctor said my body is healing, but it's definitely not.

Hi, I have Lyme too. I also have a 11 year old daughter. I'm tired of the sickness, disability, weakness and torture from Lyme I feel trapped and stuck having to be here for her, she has severe depression already at 11, I think Lyme fucked her. Not sure what to do.

 

[Chronicillness]

Hi, I have Lyme too. I also have a 11 year old daughter. I'm tired of the sickness, disability, weakness and torture from Lyme I feel trapped and stuck having to be here for her, she has severe depression already at 11, I think Lyme fucked her. Not sure what to do.

Having lyme must be hard. Telling a doctor you have lyme is a nightmare. Gaslight central.

 

[Taki]

Next year for sure.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I don't mean like, 90% sure or 95% sure or even 99% sure. I mean a flat 100% sure. Who else is here?

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Well I have less than a year to live not by choice but circumstances. So yes I am 100% doomed. Now it just becomes a matter of if I choose the date or the date chooses me. There is Fear in both. I'm sick of being sick and I dont want to feel this way much longer, but my options for self deliverance are limited. I would like to be gone in less than a month. But with my health the fear of failing at my attempt and being worse off scares me.

 

[BorderingDeath]

My set date is this coming 30th, the night after Sunday. Baring any setbacks or interruptions, it is set. I know I'm doing it because I don't really care anymore. There is no more tears, anger, frustration, or even depression. Just a rational insanity.
I've tied the rope and have been testing it every now and then. Even made a miniature one hanging above my bed. All I have to do now is complete my last and only complete work; my final suicide note/manifesto/opus. (I find it ironically humorous that even in death I'm lazy and easily distracted)

Otherwise, the plan is set. Complete the opus - Write all letters and final will - Give Christmas gifts - 3/7 days of pure hedonism - Another 3/7 days of fast and repentance - Get a final hug from my ladyfriend - Go to church on Sunday and ask the pastor for a prayer - Settle everything including scheduled publishing and postings - Set the alarm call for body retrieval - Listen to my suicide playlist, reach Pink Floyd, and leave it playing - Suspension hang at the back of the house.

I may need to change the date if something comes up but one thing is for 100% sure: I'm not surviving 2020. I can't imagine I'm even here now. I was suppose to catch the bus so long ago. Now I'm just a dead man walking in hell. Everything feels like a dream. I'm in Wonderland, Neverland, and the Mad Hatter is telling me to wake up. I can't tell what is real and what is not. There is no place nor future for artist and writers like me. I'm aware that I'm quite the attention whore, those two words meaning nothing to me after being abused with it by my own mind for years. As a player upon the stage, I shall speak my hour and take my leave.

 

[Chronicillness]

Well I have less than a year to live not by choice but circumstances. So yes I am 100% doomed. Now it just becomes a matter of if I choose the date or the date chooses me. There is Fear in both. I'm sick of being sick and I dont want to feel this way much longer, but my options for self deliverance are limited. I would like to be gone in less than a month. But with my health the fear of failing at my attempt and being worse off scares me.

It sounds like you don't necessarily want to die, but due to circumstances that are out of your control, you are forced to make a decision on the manner in which you die; do you go by "natural" causes or do you try to attain peaceful methods and CTB in a controlled setting. I'm in a very similar situation. I don't want to die, but I also can't be exposed to such torturous symptoms anymore.

What are you being afflicted with?

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

What are you being afflicted with?

Yes that is exactly it, I would love to return to who I was 2 years ago. I actually love life, but I have a rare hereditary blood disease that causes my body to not be able to remove iron from the body. It was diagnosed late in my life and there was hope with treatment it would resolve , but it's just gotten worse. It effects every single organ in my body, so I could have a stroke, liver failure, kidney failure or a massive heart attack. The current concentration of iron in my body indicates to my doctors that one of those events will happen in the next 10 months. What makes it worse is I live alone, and having a stroke while alone would be horrifying.

 

[Now_And_Then]

Yes , because of intrusive thoughts not giving me any choice

 

[Moonicide]

Wouldn't say doomed, but I'd be absolutely furious to make it to 2020. The holidays are traumatic and painful as is.
I really want to stick to my ctb date. Just waiting for my Meto patiently.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I have to wait a few months for certain people to be away from my ctb site. I will be here until spring.

 

[lymestolemylife]

Having lyme must be hard. Telling a doctor you have lyme is a nightmare. Gaslight central.

They literally treat you like shit and like you are making it up. Doctors are bad people in my opinion.

 

[Wayfaerer]

They literally treat you like shit and like you are making it up. Doctors are bad people in my opinion.

I agree. Doctors are whores for the medical industry and have an ego complex.

 

[Bruceleelives1969]

I think I'll do it in January. I can't take this anymore. I'm tired of suffering.

Same here.

Me too my health is getting worse

 

[OneBigBlur]

Yeah, I'm ending it in Spring for sure. My mind has never changed in the past 20 years, it's never been a matter of if I was going to end my life, it was a matter of when.

I have to wait a few months for certain people to be away from my ctb site. I will be here until spring.

I'm in the same boat and time frame.