Is anyone ctb soon?

[FreeFallin]

Beautifully well put. I'd always compare my pain and heartache to other peoples for some reason. I was talking to a girl at work, that was going through sadness and i told her how i felt like shit even feeling bad cause her pain was way worse than him and she had told me that even though our experiences might be different, we both still are going through pain. Pain is pain. No one should compare or belittle or even undervalue someones pain and sadness.

And what you just said reminded me of that again. Amazing perspective.

Well, I wish everyone the best. I hope we all find peace eventually

At my brother's funeral I said "I hope you find the peace in death that you never found in life"

Not sure what that's from. Probably something.

 

[Mr2005]

Beautifully well put. I'd always compare my pain and heartache to other peoples for some reason. I was talking to a girl at work, that was going through sadness and i told her how i felt like shit even feeling bad cause her pain was way worse than him and she had told me that even though our experiences might be different, we both still are going through pain. Pain is pain. No one should compare or belittle or even undervalue someones pain and sadness.

And what you just said reminded me of that again. Amazing perspective.

I wasn't aware I had although I'm probably about to now. My pain back then wasn't as bad as I thought. I know that now because I'm here, I had nothing to compare it to then. You definitely don't want to be in my position in ten years time. Just keep in mind the possibility you could look back not wishing you'd killed yourself now but hating yourself for how good you had it relatively speaking. I don't know because I'm not you but it's bound to happen to others it can't just be me

 

[pole]

At my brother's funeral I said "I hope you find the peace in death that you never found in life"

Not sure what that's from. Probably something.

I'm taking that line lol, amazingly put.

I wasn't aware I had although I'm probably about to now. My pain back then wasn't as bad as I thought. I know that now because I'm here, I had nothing to compare it to then. You definitely don't want to be in my position in ten years time. Just keep in mind the possibility you could look back not wishing you'd killed yourself now but hating yourself for how good you had it relatively speaking. I don't know because I'm not you but it's bound to happen to others it can't just be me

Yeah, i've had that thought. Luckily, ive had the chance to go through the "oh, itll get better". "Oh theres hope." Phase since i was 12. Just dont wanna keep prolonging an end and outcome thats destined to happen. No point to forcing myself to suffer for years to come, because i have some type of false "hope".

 

[J F]

When are you going to do it? What type of method are you going to use?

Next couple of weeks. Propranolol verapamil meto benzos combo. Already tried with Propranolol last year. Would have worked but was stopped by the paramedics who saved me. Told someone where I was and this person told them where I was and what I was doing. Backstabber.

 

[FreeFallin]

I wasn't aware I had although I'm probably about to now. My pain back then wasn't as bad as I thought. I know that now because I'm here, I had nothing to compare it to then. You definitely don't want to be in my position in ten years time. Just keep in mind the possibility you could look back not wishing you'd killed yourself now but hating yourself for how good you had it relatively speaking. I don't know because I'm not you but it's bound to happen to others it can't just be me

Being older maybe that gives me some perspective. I definitely do not want to encourage anyone to ctb. However they depressive pain of my life have come in waves. Once it was described that it would lessen as I got older. In my case the wave increased. The troughs deeper and the creasts shallower. I do not wish anyone to end their journey sooner than is absolutely necessary.

Being a newb on these forums has brought me hope in the saddest if places. If I share and others share

Next couple of weeks. Propranolol verapamil meto benzos combo. Already tried with Propranolol last year. Would have worked but was stopped by the paramedics who saved me. Told someone where I was and this person told them where I was and what I was doing. Backstabber.

They cared. No need to label as backstabber. They just didn't understand. Make peace with them and everyone you can before you ctb brother. Don't pass the pain on if at all possible. Hope you find peace.

 

[Peeloffallmyskin]

Thank you. I'm afraid of how bad it's going to taste lol the Bi Carb soda was bad enough. I've had my antiemetics just waiting for time to pass. I dont have a scale so the grams will be total guess work. Hope that doesn't fuck things up for me.

Hope you'll be at peace soon and i hope the method is peaceful and painless.

 

[pole]

Awh, that sounds rough; and im sorry you gotta go through the bs of the process. Way stronger than me anyway to even do what you're doing. Wish you all the best in you're journey.

 

[Mr2005]

I think it can get better for some if they allow it to. If uncertain I'm more at ease with a pro life stance than a pro death one. I'd question someones intentions who isn't. It's possible my future self is looking back at this the same way I do my past self

 

[pole]

I definitely try and question somes decision to CTB and attempt to be there for them. Some just need a voice to guide them or just want their voice to be heard. But i cant blame or force others to do differently from them wanting to CTB. Some people really have made their minds up, and are just too far gone such as myself. And that's okay.

 

[Mr2005]

Yes but based off what you said if you were me you wouldn't be certain and that's ok too. If you are you are and I won't try to change your mind but I know there's people who want their mind changing and that's why they're here. Heck this isn't something I want to do. I came on to be able to actually talk about it after being banned from other ones. I don't think there's any chance of that until you've stared death in the face so these other places are only helping people that weren't serious in the first place. The meaningless platitudes annoyed a lot of people here but I think they confuse that with genuine reasons to live. Just being here and getting to talk openly about it could be seen as one

 

[pole]

Yes but based off what you said if you were me you wouldn't be certain and that's ok too. If you are you are and I won't try to change your mind but I know there's people who want their mind changing and that's why they're here. Heck this isn't something I want to do. I came on to be able to actually talk about it after being banned from other ones. I don't think there's any chance of that until you've stared death in the face so these other places are only helping people that weren't serious in the first place. The meaningless platitudes annoyed a lot of people here but I think they confuse that with genuine reasons to live. Just being here and getting to talk openly about it could be seen as one

You're right about me, im not in between or uncertain, i already have my mind set. I 100 percent agree with everything you said, and its great that your just here being that person who can maybe help others just think better. And yeah, this place for many people is a safe haven. A place to escape to and just pour their thoughts out, having it be heard.

 

[FreeFallin]

Yes but based off what you said if you were me you wouldn't be certain and that's ok too. If you are you are and I won't try to change your mind but I know there's people who want their mind changing and that's why they're here. Heck this isn't something I want to do. I came on to be able to actually talk about it after being banned from other ones. I don't think there's any chance of that until you've stared death in the face so these other places are only helping people that weren't serious in the first place. The meaningless platitudes annoyed a lot of people here but I think they confuse that with genuine reasons to live. Just being here and getting to talk openly about it could be seen as one

Anything but neutral is annoying to me in this forum. Pro-life go to Reddit. Meaningful compassionate comments I think and hope this is what this forum is meant for. I can never encourage anyone to ctb or encouraged them to not ctb. I apologise if I misunderstood your previous comments. I'm forget in the middle.

 

[Mr2005]

Pro life do go to reddit and y'know what? I was the only person who was able to get through to some young lad because what I was saying was true. I think a lot of them just say what they think people want to hear and in a lot of cases they're probably correct but in others not so. I was one of those people who couldn't be talked round with the usual niceties nor did I want to be so I found this place and then found it wasn't as different as I thought. I can see when someone's crying out for help because I'm an empathic person and it makes me uncomfortable when no one else can either because they can't read between the lines or worse. If people aren't totally honest with what they post I don't think they can complain too much if they don't get the feedback they want whatever that is

 

[FreeFallin]

We are all crying out for help brother. The nicieties are what keep the eternally depressed going. What is the purpose of this? Your ego in saving somone from suffering? Whose suffering? What is the point when suffering never ends? Catching the bus is never, NEVER the end goal, unless all other goals are exhausted. I imagine the folks here have exhausted all other avenues. We are are all pro-choice not your version of 'prolife'. - not talking about fetus-types

 

[Distanziert]

I need to ctb today. I have two methods available.
Once partial hanging with a scarf or something (usually i found the best comfort and effect by using a belt with a ring but i can't find this fcking belt anymore) which i already practiced but never overcame the moment of panicking. I want it to be fast and peacefully..

The other method is much more laborious but perhaps worthwhile. I have half a kilo of coal
which i could burn in my bathroom. It is so tiny i can't even lay myself in there. I'm gonna have to seal the door and Ventilation and make it as cozy as possible with pillows.

I hope one of these will work I'm soo afraid of failure.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I need to ctb today. I have two methods available.
Once partial hanging with a scarf or something (usually i found the best comfort and effect by using a belt with a ring but i can't find this fcking belt anymore) which i already practiced but never overcame the moment of panicking. I want it to be fast and peacefully..

The other method is much more laborious but perhaps worthwhile. I have half a kilo of coal
which i could burn in my bathroom. It is so tiny i can't even lay myself in there. I'm gonna have to seal the door and Ventilation and make it as cozy as possible with pillows.

I hope one of these will work I'm soo afraid of failure.

Are you sure you nee to do it today? It seems like if you haven't planned things very precisely. I think you should prepare it.

 

[Mr2005]

My version of pro life is just to tell the truth. If I don't sincerely believe that person has a chance then I wouldn't tell them. I don't see anything wrong with that. I can see the problem people have when it's based on nothing but the reverse is also true. To tell someone to go for it based on nothing other than they themselves want to die is even worse. We're not all screwed. Nor do I want the world to end just so I don't have to be here anymore. That attitude is pretty popular around here and mine isn't. Ironic really since I means I care more about them than they do each other

 

[FreeFallin]

Are you sure you nee to do it today? It seems like if you haven't planned things very precisely. I think you should prepare it.

Agreed 1 more day of torture is worth one once of confort in whatever you can take it. Otherwise partial hanging if otherwise unbearable time limit. Peace please find peace. Take infinite care.

 

[Distanziert]

I understand I don't seem well prepared but I've been considering and planning everything for months. I finally want to get it behind me.

What do you mean with this?

Otherwise partial hanging if otherwise unbearable time limit

 

[FreeFallin]

My uncle ctb with a belt and a doorknob. From what I've learned it shouldn't take long if no one finds you. If you have a better plan please take it. Please consider your comfort. Hope you find peace. Wish I could give you more advice. I've no experience expect with this except finding family. Find peace fam.

 

[dandan]

In the hotel room currently with SN. just finishing up a letter.

So whats up, did you find your peace ? Hope you're resting in peace or enjoying the hotel free breakfast lunch.

 

[I am ___________]

Some of you are so young. You were just kids when my shit started and I was your age. You've grown up while I was sleeping. It freaks me out I don't belong here at all in this year at this age. The fact you're online talking about doing it before 20 makes me feel so stupid. That's not your fault it's mine. I still thought I had forever at that age and didn't sort my problems out whilst I could
Nothing will ever make that easier except N. It pains me because I squandered such potential

Age is nothing but a concept created by humanity. It does not exist. So it is the say the same with the past, and future... the only thing that exists and can be observed is that which we call the present. However the decaying of the body and death are absolute truths, nothing is eternal.
I am young as well but that does not matter. One's age does not equate one's wisdom nor their experiences. Dying at the age of 20 is enough for me. In may my time here will come to an end.

 

[JustOverIt]

Age is nothing but a concept created by humanity. It does not exist. So it is the say the same with the past, and future... the only thing that exists and can be observed is that which we call the present. However the decaying of the body and death are absolute truths, nothing is eternal.
I am young as well but that does not matter. One's age does not equate one's wisdom nor their experiences. Dying at the age of 20 is enough for me. In may my time here will come to an end.

That is definitely thought provoking and I agree that age is just a concept. I would also argue that death is a concept created by humanity too. I'm not too sure about nothing being eternal however. "One's age does not equate one's wisdom" is a good line and a new favourite quote from you. I am also around the same age as yourself so I can relate.

 

[Divine Trinity]

Beautifully well put. I'd always compare my pain and heartache to other peoples for some reason. I was talking to a girl at work, that was going through sadness and i told her how i felt like shit even feeling bad cause her pain was way worse than him and she had told me that even though our experiences might be different, we both still are going through pain. Pain is pain. No one should compare or belittle or even undervalue someones pain and sadness.

And what you just said reminded me of that again. Amazing perspective.

It's called a victim-complex, generally taking the form of two parties arguing who "had it worse" in their often totally different scenarios. Both sides undermine each other's experience so they can wallow in rather egocentric self-pity.

Age is nothing but a concept created by humanity. It does not exist. So it is the say the same with the past, and future... the only thing that exists and can be observed is that which we call the present. However the decaying of the body and death are absolute truths, nothing is eternal.
I am young as well but that does not matter. One's age does not equate one's wisdom nor their experiences. Dying at the age of 20 is enough for me. In may my time here will come to an end.

Age is a naturally occuring documented phenomenon, saying otherwise is a little silly.

Now cultural maturity is a different subject, there's very little backing any commonplace notion of an adult outside of biology. some magic just happens when you kill people, have children, or sign a morgage and your mind suddenly swells with some arcane cosmic wisdom that changes how you view everything.

 

[suicideofpeace]

Me. When my n arrived i will ctb right away.
Have no room to worry about it.
Maybe will some travel before death
Europe so far and expansive so maybe china

 

[GoodForNothing]

I don't know how people plan there passing out to a date. I think mine will come down to a in the moment event where everything is right, the mood and aggression to follow through with it.

 

[asdasan]

I'm hoping around 20th May time either jumping from somewhere or CO

Same, I think/hope.

 

[dandan]

I don't know how people plan there passing out to a date. I think mine will come down to a in the moment event where everything is right, the mood and aggression to follow through with it.

Many things in life need a date, otherwise hoping one day you feel like ctb might never really arrives, or always find an excuse, which is valid, is what I'm doing myself, so I don't have a date, I said I was gonna give one more chance, but what can change? It hasn't changed in twenty years

 

[Peaceatlast]

48 years old here. Have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 12. I'm just tired and there's no one left that gives a shoot. Really tired.

FreeFallin...I've had similar experience and feel the same as you do.

 

[Ch92921]

I'll probably hang myself soon. I did a test run recently, and it didn't scare me. I just hope I can pass out fairly quick