Introduce yourself

[shadyjdz]

I came here because I've done everything I can think of to improve my health and I've not been able feel well.
I was a VoIP engineer for a very large fortune 500 company... and then I found crypto which lured me to quit my job and start researching the technology and its applications in relation to a potential startup.


But I had my thyroid removed around the time I started this new enterprise and I quickly became chronically hypothyroid. Eventually I developed Cushing's syndrome, it was treated and I "recovered." That is to say... there is no recovery for the cohort of Cushing's survivors that become plagued with autoimmune issues. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome... I tried EVERYTHING.

Fasting, One Meal a Day (OMAD), Carnivore diet, Every supplement you can think of, exercise, medications

The only thing that helped me want to live life was modafinil, ritalin and vyvanse. When I took those drugs I could read, I could write, I could think, I could solve problems. Without those drugs I couldn't do anything. I was already on Forfivo, the authorized generic of Wellbutrin XL

So I was exercising and being very careful and trying my best to recover. If I had to hold a job I would have gotten fired because I had so few days where I wasn't plagued with brain fog, memory issues, cognitive decline, confusion.

I also was STILL chronically hypothyroid. WTF... I was taking Tirosint-sol and liothyronine and still I couldn't get my TSH into range and I felt hypothyroid ALL THE TIME.

But this is what I did. For the auto immune issues I took:
Low dose naltrexone (LDN) at nighttime
Quercetin Phytosome
Nettle Leaf
PEA Palmitoylethanolamide
Ketone-IQ to assist with one meal a day. It enables you to skip meals. It gets you into ketosis, and it's cheaper than food.

For the chronic hypothyroidism I switched from morning dosing to bedtime dosing.
And for a while:
1. I wasn't hypothyroid
2. I wasn't constantly having a MCAS flare
3. I was getting work done

But life doesn't stop its merciless onslaught and no honest effort goes unpunished.
I had mold and it triggered insane MCAS flares for which there was no escape. My landlord had literally no clue how to kill it and everything she tried failed. I didn't have the strength to move. I had to move into a hotel.
Eventually I killed the mold (sporicidin and vital oxide although you really only need vital oxide)
But after 6 weeks of hell I started to have stomach issues. You can't take ketone IQ 2x daily every day for a year and not have some trouble.
And then more issues, and more issues, and more issues
An inescapable onslaught

And then I said, "I'm done... I don't want to do this anymore. I want out. I want off the ride. I want this to end. I will never be free from this hell ever again."

I tried everything. I really did my best to make a good effort. My reward? More hardship.

And now I'm here... and there's no search functionality for this site and to be honest I've gotta say it's really getting under my skin. I already feel like leaving because I'm told:
"hey don't waste people's time asking the same thing over and over again, use the search function idiot!"
And I'm like.... what?
Pulp Fiction – Confused Travolta meme

 

[bakenohana]

won't say much for now but you can call me zai im 18 yo guy i have ASD and i plan to ctb anytime within the next few years (i would just do it now however i have a few things i would like to do before i ctb). I'm a bit nervous about openly expressing myself and especially to such a large number of people but i hope soon I'll feel comfortable enough to do that. as for interests im not really sure, the only thing i can confidently say im interested in is a rhythm game (colorful stage/project sekai. I've seen a few profiles featuring characters, maybe some people on here even recognise the game lmao). i dont mind chatting but i cant guarantee I'll respond or engage for too long, I'm in the UK incase anyone wanted to know. If i ever had any chance of living a full life gender dysphoria and all my history with social services took that away from me long ago. I'm glad places like this exist and the image the media portrays of you all is honestly sad to see

 

[NameOfAction]

21, currently esciping reality via obsessing with all things Hamlet, og text included. Memorised "To be or not to be", memorising ACT II SCENE 2 (love)

Idk, I came here to meet people. Surely I'm not the only one thinking "I've nothing to lose now, might as well have fun". Idk, lets all meet up and ovethrow the govenmet or smt (jk, mostly).

All Miserable Sods, come hither, let us be merry in our dying moments

PM me all times of day or night, I've nothing better to do that reply

 

[piercedheart]

Hello there dearies.

You can call me Tara. I am a woman who's just reached her 30's, which is quite honestly completely terrifying.

I been on here for some years now, mostly to find the courage to finally ctb but after encouragement from the members here i've sought out proper help and have since been on the road to recovery and a better life. It's a long, slow and painful road, but I think I am doing well in walking it.

I have returned as I do still very much struggle with self-destructive behaviour, and I find comfort in knowing I am not alone. Plus it is nice to talk to people who feel or have felt the same way.

These days I try to help people, encourage them and hopefully act as a positive light whenever I can to pay it forward to those that did so for me.

I am a forensic pathologist, former mortician so I also try to dissuade people from ctb in a ways that would be miserable by providing information if I can. I know I cannot help everyone, but the least I can do is make sure they're not badly informed and walking into something that will suffer greatly from.

I am always here for everyone should you need someone to talk too, vent with, or simply a friend, I will gladly play a game with you if it helps you keep bad thoughts at bay even for a moment. <3

I love reading books, playing games, working out, I pole-dance as a hobby to stay fit(Please don't be weird about this), and I love music.


Please do have a lovely day.

 

[bobsacamano]

I came here because I've done everything I can think of to improve my health and I've not been able feel well.
I was a VoIP engineer for a very large fortune 500 company... and then I found crypto which lured me to quit my job and start researching the technology and its applications in relation to a potential startup.


But I had my thyroid removed around the time I started this new enterprise and I quickly became chronically hypothyroid. Eventually I developed Cushing's syndrome, it was treated and I "recovered." That is to say... there is no recovery for the cohort of Cushing's survivors that become plagued with autoimmune issues. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome... I tried EVERYTHING.

Fasting, One Meal a Day (OMAD), Carnivore diet, Every supplement you can think of, exercise, medications

The only thing that helped me want to live life was modafinil, ritalin and vyvanse. When I took those drugs I could read, I could write, I could think, I could solve problems. Without those drugs I couldn't do anything. I was already on Forfivo, the authorized generic of Wellbutrin XL

So I was exercising and being very careful and trying my best to recover. If I had to hold a job I would have gotten fired because I had so few days where I wasn't plagued with brain fog, memory issues, cognitive decline, confusion.

I also was STILL chronically hypothyroid. WTF... I was taking Tirosint-sol and liothyronine and still I couldn't get my TSH into range and I felt hypothyroid ALL THE TIME.

But this is what I did. For the auto immune issues I took:
Low dose naltrexone (LDN) at nighttime
Quercetin Phytosome
Nettle Leaf
PEA Palmitoylethanolamide
Ketone-IQ to assist with one meal a day. It enables you to skip meals. It gets you into ketosis, and it's cheaper than food.

For the chronic hypothyroidism I switched from morning dosing to bedtime dosing.
And for a while:
1. I wasn't hypothyroid
2. I wasn't constantly having a MCAS flare
3. I was getting work done

But life doesn't stop its merciless onslaught and no honest effort goes unpunished.
I had mold and it triggered insane MCAS flares for which there was no escape. My landlord had literally no clue how to kill it and everything she tried failed. I didn't have the strength to move. I had to move into a hotel.
Eventually I killed the mold (sporicidin and vital oxide although you really only need vital oxide)
But after 6 weeks of hell I started to have stomach issues. You can't take ketone IQ 2x daily every day for a year and not have some trouble.
And then more issues, and more issues, and more issues
An inescapable onslaught

And then I said, "I'm done... I don't want to do this anymore. I want out. I want off the ride. I want this to end. I will never be free from this hell ever again."

I tried everything. I really did my best to make a good effort. My reward? More hardship.

And now I'm here... and there's no search functionality for this site and to be honest I've gotta say it's really getting under my skin. I already feel like leaving because I'm told:
"hey don't waste people's time asking the same thing over and over again, use the search function idiot!"
And I'm like.... what?
Pulp Fiction –

I came here because I've done everything I can think of to improve my health and I've not been able feel well.
I was a VoIP engineer for a very large fortune 500 company... and then I found crypto which lured me to quit my job and start researching the technology and its applications in relation to a potential startup.


But I had my thyroid removed around the time I started this new enterprise and I quickly became chronically hypothyroid. Eventually I developed Cushing's syndrome, it was treated and I "recovered." That is to say... there is no recovery for the cohort of Cushing's survivors that become plagued with autoimmune issues. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome... I tried EVERYTHING.

Fasting, One Meal a Day (OMAD), Carnivore diet, Every supplement you can think of, exercise, medications

The only thing that helped me want to live life was modafinil, ritalin and vyvanse. When I took those drugs I could read, I could write, I could think, I could solve problems. Without those drugs I couldn't do anything. I was already on Forfivo, the authorized generic of Wellbutrin XL

So I was exercising and being very careful and trying my best to recover. If I had to hold a job I would have gotten fired because I had so few days where I wasn't plagued with brain fog, memory issues, cognitive decline, confusion.

I also was STILL chronically hypothyroid. WTF... I was taking Tirosint-sol and liothyronine and still I couldn't get my TSH into range and I felt hypothyroid ALL THE TIME.

But this is what I did. For the auto immune issues I took:
Low dose naltrexone (LDN) at nighttime
Quercetin Phytosome
Nettle Leaf
PEA Palmitoylethanolamide
Ketone-IQ to assist with one meal a day. It enables you to skip meals. It gets you into ketosis, and it's cheaper than food.

For the chronic hypothyroidism I switched from morning dosing to bedtime dosing.
And for a while:
1. I wasn't hypothyroid
2. I wasn't constantly having a MCAS flare
3. I was getting work done

But life doesn't stop its merciless onslaught and no honest effort goes unpunished.
I had mold and it triggered insane MCAS flares for which there was no escape. My landlord had literally no clue how to kill it and everything she tried failed. I didn't have the strength to move. I had to move into a hotel.
Eventually I killed the mold (sporicidin and vital oxide although you really only need vital oxide)
But after 6 weeks of hell I started to have stomach issues. You can't take ketone IQ 2x daily every day for a year and not have some trouble.
And then more issues, and more issues, and more issues
An inescapable onslaught

And then I said, "I'm done... I don't want to do this anymore. I want out. I want off the ride. I want this to end. I will never be free from this hell ever again."

I tried everything. I really did my best to make a good effort. My reward? More hardship.

And now I'm here... and there's no search functionality for this site and to be honest I've gotta say it's really getting under my skin. I already feel like leaving because I'm told:
"hey don't waste people's time asking the same thing over and over again, use the search function idiot!"
And I'm like.... what?
Pulp Fiction – Confused Travolta meme

Keep posting and commenting and the search will appear. Hang in there.

 

[walliwalli]

hi hi. i'll use the name wally on here. gender neutral pronouns preferred. i'm asian american and a student in my 20s. i've had depression my whole life and many rough periods of suicidal ideation, but the past few months have been the worst and led me here. i do not know if i will end up committing to a plan but lately i think about CTB nearly every day, so it seems more and more likely and i want to be here in case i seriously pursue it. if so i will probably CTB by the end of the semester.

i'm mainly here for practical resources but am open to casual chatting as well.

<3

 

[whywere]

hi hi. i'll use the name wally on here. gender neutral pronouns preferred. i'm asian american and a student in my 20s. i've had depression my whole life and many rough periods of suicidal ideation, but the past few months have been the worst and led me here. i do not know if i will end up committing to a plan but lately i think about CTB nearly every day, so it seems more and more likely and i want to be here in case i seriously pursue it. if so i will probably CTB by the end of the semester.

i'm mainly here for practical resources but am open to casual chatting as well.

<3

Nice to meet you. My real first name is Walter, so we are really family!

Have a great upcoming week filled with sunshine.

Walter

 

[glitterpvppy]

Hi I'm Riley and I bedrot 24/7 and desperately need friends. I've had mental health issues as long as I can remember. Severe social anxiety, depression, bpd, and anorexia. Im on here because my boyfriend broke up with me and now I have no future or will to live. No I don't want to hear that things will get better

 

[Honeybee]

Hello, you can call me Honeybee (or any variation.)

I'm 21 and I use they/them pronouns, or he/him when that's not possible. Some of my interests include music, art, video games, and dragons.

As for why I'm here, I've been living with major depression and PTSD since at least 5 years old (diagnosed at 12/14), and suicidal ideation since I was around 9. I've been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, mild autism, unspecified anxiety disorder, and possibly borderline personality disorder (or C-PTSD), among other things. I've never had anyone I could openly talk to without the fear of being judged, threatened, yelled at, or forced, until I found SS.

After lurking for a few days, I finally decided to make an account and start posting myself. I hope I'm welcome here ^^

 

[flyingovertrees]

Hi all. Female, early 20s. I'm here for the same reason as many of you. I am chronically depressed, suicidal, and without a single person I can truly bare my soul to. I have no plans and no prospects, currently work full-time as a fast food flesh robot. Tried college but burnt out hard after a couple of years. Now I just exist aimlessly, unhappy with being alive but with too many strings attached to me to CTB without guilt. Mostly just looking for community.

 

[IAmElation]

Since my username change got approved…
Hey hey, I'm Griffith. Any pronouns!
I've recently relapsed into suicidal thoughts. This time is the last.
I'm just trying to have fun and start shit until I go out at this point. I like old anime and video games, I'm very spiritual and…that's basically it.
Let's be friends!

 

[GyreOfAsh]

Gender: Male
Height: 5'11
Weight: 155lbs
Age: 18-30
Body-fat Percentage: ~8-9%
TDEE: ~2,050-2,200cal/day
Favorite Films: The Expanse (Amazon Prime), Dredd (2012), Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Issues: Cochlear Hyperacusis, Nervous System Dysregulation, Sibo/Sifo/IBS, Suboptimal Craniofacial structure, RAAS hypersensitivity, etc.
Philosophical Views: Determinism, Utilitarianism, Empiricism and Scientific Naturalism, Absurdism, Communitarianism, Moral Relativism, etc.
Ultimate Goal: Try to enjoy my life while I can & know to go when it's my time.

 

[legionary]

just joined here.
im 21 but i feel like ive lived and died many different times already, i know it might be annoying to see someone so young decide to go this route but ive experienced levels of despair that most people dont in their entire full lives.. and i feel terribly selfish and disgusting for saying that but i cannot deny it anymore.

this forum seems like the last place on earth that might harbor a tiny bit of hope for me, im looking forward to getting to know everyone.
after two decades of total apathy and neglect towards me i hope to be able to share a bond with people here, i love to give and be serviceful to other people.. i have a deep appreciation for other peoples souls but i just feel mine is rotten beyond repair.

my interests consist mostly of fiction, i love escaping into other worlds and thinking about my favorite characters and areas. im always down to talk movies/games/shows/etc.

 

[CuckoosInvisible]

Hello. 20s. I've been lurking for a couple years and have had suicidal thoughts since i was 10 or so; I'm guessing due to some form of emotional neglect? I'm not entirely sure. I like video games and philosophy, and I also like to gamedev (though i'm very inconsistent) and do art (though i haven't done a piece in months, which is especially upsetting to me :( ...).
I feel a strong disconnect from most people. Sometimes hatred, oftentimes indifference. I don't think I'm particularly miserable, but I have no interest in contributing to a world and society so fundamentally shitty on the long-term. I don't want marriage, I don't want kids, I don't want a career. Death is preferable to living through my 30s. Thank you for your time, everyone.