Venting Insufferable pain

[Iamtired]

I've been living with treatment resistant depression, I was surgically mutilated 6 months ago and I have no desire to be on this earth anymore. I've had 3 failed attempts with drug OD and partial suspension (my survival instinct kicked in at 8 min so maybe I really didn't do it the way it was meant to be done to cut off all circulation)

Why is it so hard for people to just want to help you out of this? I can't decide if I am the one that's selfish or they are the ones that are selfish. Currently in the process of obtaining a nitrogen tank and hopefully that works.

 

[SmollMushroom]

In my opinion, everyone should be able to decide what to do with their lives and that's not selfish at all. And I hope you'll manage to do whatever you want with yours. Best of luck.

 

[Iamtired]

I keep telling myself to stick around for the med malpractice suit. It seems really fucked that doctors are so well protected in this (US) country. It's a dumpster of an earth for humans who have been injured. I just want to leave but there's no great way of doing it without violent means. I don't deserve to even have to end it this violently.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really horrible what you have to go through and it's really understandable just wishing for permanent relief from all the suffering existing brings, I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you search for.