Inevitable

[eternalbliss22]

Rather or not I end my existence isn't in question, it's inevitable. It's a matter of when. Being spied on, gaslit, harassed, baited, ran of from work & the organizations you turned to either turn their backs like law enforcement or ask questions in a matter showing their at least aware if not participating like counseling services. I am actively looking for new employment but I'm not hopeful, even if I do find the manipulation & interference will continue. I can't change the past or get out from under it. If the harassment & gaslighting do give me the extra push then running out of funds will be enough to push me to end my existence. I'm not sure I believe in SN or even if I try to get it I have to worry about being spied on. I think my method will be hanging. I've researched & you need to drop at least 5 feet to break the neck which will stop any suffering & I'll cease to exist. I have a spot at home that works & is private. My only regret is abandoning my cats. I'll send time delayed text message with post mortem instructions. There's only 3 things I care about after death. 1) cats go to foster homes or rehomed, none to my brother because he's likely to just kill them. 2) not buried with any relatives. 3) no preacher or church organizations involved. Other than that, they can throw me in a dumpster for all I care, it's just an empty shell. I'll set it up, but the actual time will be spontaneous. I yearn for oblivion

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

I suggest you rehome yourself if you can or have a place set. Im sure it will bring you relief to know they went to a good home. I decided the place my 2 reptiles will go to. Ive bought food from there for several years and they are great people, local family owned too. The reason I dont do it myself is bcuz Ill most likely end up crying on the spot and all someone has to do is bring the cage in and drop it off.

I wish you the best of luck in finding peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so incredibly horrific what you've been through and of course your feelings of wishing to be gone from that nightmare are very much understandable. I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.