Venting Impulsive. Sitting out my suicidal tendencies

[Xta4Love]

Im in a mental crisis right now, please be kind.

I want my CTB to be carefully planned.

But Im very impulsive and in a panic. Cops took my SN. I dont have inert gas yet. I want to jump. I half tried.
I feel like a complete idiot.

I will really hurt my family and friends if I dont plan ctb carefully and in a painless way.

I dont know what to do. Im trying to sit this impulsive tendency out. Started mixing oxazepam with drinking wine this morning, which is completely disgusting. Just trying to keep the panic down.

I cant talk to anyone about this. No one tells you what to do in these situations.

Please have some kind words. I feel very alone and sad.

 

[Hikoo]

Well, the only thing that helps me in that type of situation is too change the focus of all my thoughts to somewhere else. It can be a movie or a game, or even going to the gym, in the worst cases. That's what works for me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Often I ask myself whether the cops have nothing else to do but F****** innocent people who did nothing wrong except they want to end their agony and suffering in a peaceful way. This is so incredibly difficult in the society we have to live in.

You're certainly not an idiot and I can feel the suffering you have to go through now but don't make impulsive steps now, this can go horribly wrong. Try to calm down a bit. You are not alone here! I wish you all the best.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Im in a mental crisis right now, please be kind.

I want my CTB to be carefully planned.

But Im very impulsive and in a panic. Cops took my SN. I dont have inert gas yet. I want to jump. I half tried.
I feel like a complete idiot.

I will really hurt my family and friends if I dont plan ctb carefully and in a painless way.

I dont know what to do. Im trying to sit this impulsive tendency out. Started mixing oxazepam with drinking wine this morning, which is completely disgusting. Just trying to keep the panic down.

I cant talk to anyone about this. No one tells you what to do in these situations.

Please have some kind words. I feel very alone and sad.

How did cops knew you had SN??

 

[Xta4Love]

How did cops knew you had SN??

I spend another thread on it. It was reported.

 

[outrider567]

I spend another thread on it. It was reported.

Outrageous, they had no right to take it

 

[Xta4Love]

Outrageous, they had no right to take it

Officially no. But they intimidated me and I gave it up. I should have been on this forum to know my rights. Like I said, I'm an idiot.

Since I lost SN my suicidal tendencies have hightened and I got more into a panic

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so horrible how the police took away the SN, I hate how other people wish to force us to suffer until we die anyway, people who want to leave us with no choice but to resort to risky and brutal suicide methods certainly disgust me. But anyway best wishes, it's really understandable just wanting to be gone and I wish that suicide was accepted as a valid option in this world so that we could all just have the option to exit peacefully.