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[Fragile]

It's always heartbreaking to read about this stuff, specially in this place, where people come in a very vulnerable state and fall prey to disgusting predators like the ones you mention. Mentally ill, damaged and suicidal people are not the best at making decisions, The worst part is that there is no way to protect them in a free forum operated by people who are also struggling.
I'm sorry about what happened to you, and if you feel like you've been hurt and betrayed, leaving is probably a good choice, for your mental health. It'll probably give you some peace of mind. Good luck and take care.


However, it's very important to remember that these predators are an extremely small minority, you could probably count them in one hand.

the vast majority of people here are not monsters, far from it, I've met some wonderful people who don't deserve the life that brought them to this place. There is true kindness in most of them and this place, even with it's issues, is probably the only place on the internet where they can express themselves about suicidal thoughts and decisions about their lives.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Sorry, you had to endure these predators, I haven't read all the messages, life's too short, haha, but maybe this could provide a few answers.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/does-anyone-have-any-sexual-fetishes.38700/

Cheers

Geo

 

[FuneralCry]

I think this website was designed to be used as an anonymous platform to discuss suicide. Many people don't want to talk about it in real life as they worry about being on suicide watch and sectioned etc. I think because of the nature of this website being full of vulnerable people that it is bound to attract predators. This is why I disagree with the whole ctb partners thing it is just too risky.

 

[blue_muse]

It's worth considering that there are female predators too; who may use different methods, such as deception, but are equally dangerous.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Hmm... men are not equally in danger of being harassed and abused though. I've literally never been catfished - I've hardly gotten any PMs at all, and I've been a member longer. I'm not saying that a man has never been taken advantage of in this way, but this is overwhelmingly a problem facing women, which is kind of the point. Its because men don't get it that nothing happens about these problems.

 

[hfdepression30]

Hmm... men are not equally in danger of being harassed and abused though. I've literally never been catfished - I've hardly gotten any PMs at all, and I've been a member longer. I'm not saying that a man has never been taken advantage of in this way, but this is overwhelmingly a problem facing women, which is kind of the point. Its because men don't get it that nothing happens about these problems.

Although I believe women will always be more vulnerable than men - whether that's slightly or more than - I have definitely seen news articles where women have used online platforms to encourage others to commit suicide. Those stories can easily be googled. I don't think they were saying men are vulnerable in the same way.. but just highlighting that there are also cases where men are/can be manipulated to harm themselves too

 

[blue_muse]

Think we may have to agree to disagree TotallyIsolated; I don't think methods like using deception to gain information, taunts, ostracism, triggering are things to be taken lightly just because women may use them. They are potential ways that can easily push males over the edge so I stand by my original point that males can find themselves in danger also.

 

[Life_and_Death]

but this is overwhelmingly a problem facing women, which is kind of the point

idk why but no ones really bothered me. there was that blatant one a little while back that everyone already knew about that called me princess but that was the only case and dont fucking call me princess lol, but other then that i havent had any problems, under my name when i first joined even said 'use me'

 

[Jumper Geo]

@TessB

Maybe consider your avatar not showing sexy body parts and be careful what you write which is open for everyone to read, not saying you won't attract predators but it may help reduce the attention you get from them.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/does-anyone-have-any-sexual-fetishes.38700/post-1170343

Cheers

Geo

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh Tess, I can't believe this has happened to you.
I'm so sorry to hear that even on SS there are guys like that.
I'm gonna miss seeing you around but I want you to be at peace and have a better life so, if not being on SS allows you to do that, great!

Enjoy your life and try to find a new hobby, that will really help.

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[TotallyIsolated]

@TessB

Maybe consider your avatar not showing sexy body parts and be careful what you write which is open for everyone to read, not saying you won't attract predators but it may help reduce the attention you get from them.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/does-anyone-have-any-sexual-fetishes.38700/post-1170343

Cheers

Geo

Stop it. This isn't her fault. The onus is not and SHOULD NOT be on women not to have a body, but on men not to harass women just for having a body.

 

[Fragile]

We should be able to talk about these things, but us men are trash and ruin it for everyone.

I take offense to this. This is the fault of a very small minority of terrible people, not a mentality that is common among all men.

If you want to put yourself into that group by projecting, then do it without dragging us all into it.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I take offense to this. This is the fault of a very small minority of terrible people, not a mentality that is common among all men.

If you want to put yourself into that group by projecting, then do it without dragging us all into it.

Its not about that small minority, its about the much larger proportion of people who enable them, or let them get away with it. The problem is structural or systemic in nature.

Frankly lots and LOTS of men are abusers, but far more insidious is the rest of us just shrugging our shoulders and allowing it to keep happening. Its about a culture of protecting abusers and apologising for them, and that encourages us to mind our own business and turn a blind eye.

How bad does it have to get before you'll stop saying "its just a small minority" and you'll start saying "this behaviour is unacceptable".?

 

[HopelessFight]

I'm sorry this shit is happening to you. I hope you change your mind though and stay with us.

 

[Fragile]

Its not about that small minority, its about the much larger proportion of people who enable them, or let them get away with it. The problem is structural or systemic in nature.

Frankly lots and LOTS of men are abusers, but far more insidious is the rest of us just shrugging our shoulders and allowing it to keep happening. Its about a culture of protecting abusers and apologising for them, and that encourages us to mind our own business and turn a blind eye.

How bad does it have to get before you'll stop saying "its just a small minority" and you'll start saying "this behaviour is unacceptable".?

Stating that this behavior is unacceptable is not mutually exclusive from saying that this is a VERY small minority of people. I'm condemning the ones who do it, not the entire group

I won't judge you on your world view, but please realize that not all men are evil, have some empathy.

And just to make it clear, I completely agree with you that this is something that happens on a much larger scale to women, but that still doesn't mean that you can just say that "us men are thrash" because judging an entire group by what a very few have done is also unacceptable, or need I remind you of what has happened countless times in the past when this rhetoric has been used?

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

I have zero sympathy for OP. She's one of the 'gang' who started bullying and twisting my words, see here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-being-bullied-here.64222/

I knew she had multiple accounts. I'm also wondering what her real agenda was here, to promote hate against men?

 

[Bat 17]

I have zero sympathy for OP. She's one of the 'gang' who started bullying and twisting my words, see here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-being-bullied-here.64222/

I knew she had multiple accounts. I'm also wondering what her real agenda was here, to promote hate against men?

You said I was part of that "gang" as well which is ridiculous as I had no idea who you were and certainly better things to do with my time than bully you. So I don't find what you say very credible

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

You said I was part of that "gang" as well which is ridiculous as I had no idea who you were and certainly better things to do with my time than bully you. So I don't find what you say very credible

I was talking about @TessB teaming up with @x_LittleAmy_x and then attacking me. With the opening post I was just asking a reason why would anyone like this kind of activity. If you like a post, you must be aware what you are liking, right? I already explained why it was offensive.

 

[Bat 17]

I was talking about @TessB teaming up with @x_LittleAmy_x and then attacking me. With the opening post I was just asking a reason why would anyone like this kind of activity. If you like a post, you must be aware what you are liking, right? I already explained why it was offensive.

You continue to claim that you were being bullied by a 20 year old girl with Asperger and "her gang". I don't want to fall out with you but I don't like being called a bully, through liking posts or otherwise

 

[orlandom]

There are so many opinions here. I do not understand anything...

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

You continue to claim that you were being bullied by a 20 year old girl with Asperger and "her gang". I don't want to fall out with you but I don't like being called a bully, through liking posts or otherwise

Yes, I was! Gender doesn't have anything to do with it, nor does age or the fact that she had Aspergers. Many members here with autism are able to behave and be respectful towards others. When you like a post, you have a responsibility to understand what you're liking.

 

[Bat 17]

Yes, I was! Gender doesn't have anything to do with it, nor does age or the fact that she had Aspergers. Many members here with autism are able to behave and be respectful towards others. When you like a post, you have a responsibility to understand what you're liking.

My impression on that thread was actually that you crossed the road to pick a fight with Little Amy then claimed bullying afterwards. I guess we must agree to disagree.

 

[StringPuppet]

Its not about that small minority, its about the much larger proportion of people who enable them, or let them get away with it. The problem is structural or systemic in nature.

Frankly lots and LOTS of men are abusers, but far more insidious is the rest of us just shrugging our shoulders and allowing it to keep happening. Its about a culture of protecting abusers and apologising for them, and that encourages us to mind our own business and turn a blind eye.

How bad does it have to get before you'll stop saying "its just a small minority" and you'll start saying "this behaviour is unacceptable".?

Who's protecting those scumbags? They send private messages to women, there's nothing we could do until they're exposed.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

As a woman I've never experienced harassment of a sexual nature on this forum, though I guess most people think I'm man if they think anything at all. To be honest im not sure a thread like this does any good as it doesn't reveal who the predators are.

 

[Symbiote]

If anyone is sending you lewd and lascivious private messages. Please do report them so the mod team can ban the user. We don't have the capabilities to go through every post or message to find out who's sending them. Screenshots of your private message won't work because they can be modified and doctored, but a direct report will go straight into my ModBox and we can make a determination to resolve that report. I'm sorry that you went through this TessB and I'll miss your time on here, but reality is, predators will always be online no matter what platform you're on. Even Facebook's fancy algorithm that can use AI to detect if a person is suicidal through their posts can't find every single suicidal person on there. We try our best to get rid of sexual predators, but we need the community's involvement by having you guys report any threatening or unwanted messages to us.

Let's try not to turn this into a gender battle either. We've all been abused in some way or form and pinning it solely on men invalidates their abuse too. It doesn't solve anything, just deepens the divide that we're trying to bridge together in order to heal ourselves or at least die peacefully.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Don't you have the option to ignore a private conversation request? I do that to strangers because nothing good comes from that, but this looks like you are accepting all of them.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Whoa. We have a psychopath here. Report him. We don't need another "user" who prey on vulnerable women.

These actions of the individual does not reflect SS at all. SS is a haven for us with suicidal ideation. I'm sorry that you felt that way.

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

You continue to claim that you were being bullied by a 20 year old girl with Asperger and "her gang". I don't want to fall out with you but I don't like being called a bully, through liking posts or otherwise

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ted-murder-of-2-ss-members.64701/post-1208824

 

[bea1974]

This whole thing made me realise that offenders may feel encouraged to become mods, yikes.

What a scary thought!

I think I trust that prospective mods would be very carefully vetted though. Sure hope so anyway.


ps.

Worth remembering that men can be victims too.
Even, albeit rarely, women can be perps.

A vulnerable person is a vulnerable person, whatever their sex or gender.

An evil person is an evil person, whatever their sex or gender.

 

[SweetDreams500]

What a scary thought!

I think I trust that prospective mods would be very carefully vetted though. Sure hope so anyway.


ps.

Worth remembering that men can be victims too.
Even, albeit rarely, women can be perps.

A vulnerable person is a vulnerable person, whatever their sex or gender.

An evil person is an evil person, whatever their sex or gender.

how does one become a mod?