Venting i'm worthless and my headphones died

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i don't think i've ever really made an impact on anyone. i never really considered myself that bland, but i guess i was wrong. i get replaced so easily and quickly, nothing would really change if i died. none of my close friends really talk to me anymore and i've just cut off the few that still did. i feel like shit, but it's best for everyone and i doubt it'll make a big difference in the long run. i want to hurry up and message everyone so i can apologize and tell them how much i love them; it's just so stupid. i'm lonely either way, i don't need the additional stress that comes with draining and hurting all of my friends. i want at least a few people to have positive thoughts about me after i'm dead. though, again, i don't even know if it matters. i don't really think i've impacted anyone. part of me is happy that everyone is able to move on so easily, but it still stings.

coming to terms with dying has never been this easy before, but i have mixed emotions about that.

i feel lightheaded. it's 5am and i haven't slept. i'm tired now, but i can't remember if i have stuff to do today; i probably do. i didn't realize that my charger wasn't fully plugged into my headphones, so they ended up dying. now i have to wait for them to charge. it's really frustrating. everything is so boring and lonely.