Venting I’m unraveling

[attheend13]

Today is my birthday I'm alone in my room. I can't stop crying . I'm nothing. I created nothing I accomplished nothing I'm a burden to everyone around me. I want to die so badly it hurts more than the pain that made me want to die. I'm watching a clock wind down and I'm coming apart. All I do is cry and everyone is sick of me and angry. I've got nowhere left to run to and nothing left to hope for. I took out life insurance yesterday and there's a no suicide clause for 24 months. I'm nothing. I look in a mirror and all I see is the room. I'm disgusting. I'm so alone and I'm so lonely. My mind is on fire. My life is in fire. I want to scream for help but there's nothing to do but die.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I had many moments exactly like this when I was younger. Now I am just numb and have a meltdown once in a blue moon. It sucks that we are forced to suffer like this.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Your not alone in your suffering, for me my only solace was my belief in God and trusting that my suffering had purpose, but like you I am tired of being abused by life. I have failed my family, friends , and God. When I ctb I will accept whatever outcome I recieve. Your not alone.

 

[butimbleeding]

Im unraveling too. I'm just trying to complete a short certificate program but Ive made no friends in it and I've lost all will to study. I just cry and cry and want to die. I can't take care of myself anymore. My mind is on fire too and I hope we can find a way to put it out somehow

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I hope you find the will to grind through these next 720 days.

 

[cloudyskye]

Today is my birthday I'm alone in my room. I can't stop crying . I'm nothing. I created nothing I accomplished nothing I'm a burden to everyone around me. I want to die so badly it hurts more than the pain that made me want to die. I'm watching a clock wind down and I'm coming apart. All I do is cry and everyone is sick of me and angry. I've got nowhere left to run to and nothing left to hope for. I took out life insurance yesterday and there's a no suicide clause for 24 months. I'm nothing. I look in a mirror and all I see is the room. I'm disgusting. I'm so alone and I'm so lonely. My mind is on fire. My life is in fire. I want to scream for help but there's nothing to do but die.

I'm so sorry. I understand how you feel when you say you want to scream for help.

 

[attheend13]

I hope you find the will to grind through these next 720 days.

One minute at a time is more than I can bear right now. Thank you for your hope. It's in scarce supply.

 

[attheend13]

I had many moments exactly like this when I was younger. Now I am just numb and have a meltdown once in a blue moon. It sucks that we are forced to suffer like this.

I wish I could understand why we need to do this much time in life. What's the payoff? What's the reason? There's none. It's random. It's suffering for suffering sake. I want to be dead so badly it actually hurts.