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I

ifeelsobad

Experienced
Aug 23, 2022
218
I hate everything I hate myself and I am too stupid to do anything. I can't understand most of the post here. That say what to do because of my learning disability. The only thing I know how to do I am too scared to do. That is jump in front of the train. Trains are really close to my house. I can walk there and jump in like a minute. And other people here have done it before and died. But i'm too scared to do the only thing I know how to do. Everything in my life is getting worse and worse and I just want to die.
 
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wheretfami

Member
Oct 2, 2023
62
What makes you believe you're stupid? I want to know bc I know that for me, it's experiences that reinforced the belief, repeated failures despite trying so hard. Lmk, sounds like we might relate. Maybe I can even help.
 
lillmonix3

lillmonix3

Death as an end in itself
Aug 14, 2023
110
I hate everything I hate myself and I am too stupid to do anything. I can't understand most of the post here. That say what to do because of my learning disability. The only thing I know how to do I am too scared to do. That is jump in front of the train. Trains are really close to my house. I can walk there and jump in like a minute. And other people here have done it before and died. But i'm too scared to do the only thing I know how to do. Everything in my life is getting worse and worse and I just want to die.
And what about the use of alcohol or some drugs? But you don't need much of this to just calm down.
 
I

ifeelsobad

Experienced
Aug 23, 2022
218
What makes you believe you're stupid? I want to know bc I know that for me, it's experiences that reinforced the belief, repeated failures despite trying so hard. Lmk, sounds like we might relate. Maybe I can even help.
It's just hard for me to understand things even on here I read things that tell you how to kill yourself and I don't really understand it so I can't do it. It's a reading and learning problem I was born with
And what about the use of alcohol or some drugs? But you don't need much of this to just calm down.
Not sure how to get drugs and I can't really drink alcohol because I hate it so much I'm not sure I can make myself drink it
 
W

wheretfami

Member
Oct 2, 2023
62
It's just hard for me to understand things even on here I read things that tell you how to kill yourself and I don't really understand it so I can't do it. It's a reading and learning problem I was born with

Not sure how to get drugs and I can't really drink alcohol because I hate it so much I'm not sure I can make myself drink it
Gotcha. The learning issue isn't your fault, your brain is doing a thing you had no control over.
Real stupid people have a "normal" brain and decide not to use it. So that's to say, YOU are not stupid.
You're allowed to slow down to your own pace and learn things your own way.
I have seizures that have given me a similar problem, it takes so much more effort to understand things that others seem to have no problem understanding, and it hurts so bad.
As for everything else going on, I'm so sorry life is being so cruel, no innocent person deserves that.

Let me know if you want me to clarify anything. Ain't a problem. <3

Need to vent about the other things happening? If you don't want to share, it's totally fine.
 
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I

ifeelsobad

Experienced
Aug 23, 2022
218
Gotcha. The learning issue isn't your fault, your brain is doing a thing you had no control over.
Real stupid people have a "normal" brain and decide not to use it. So that's to say, YOU are not stupid.
You're allowed to slow down to your own pace and learn things your own way.
I have seizures that have given me a similar problem, it takes so much more effort to understand things that others seem to have no problem understanding, and it hurts so bad.
As for everything else going on, I'm so sorry life is being so cruel, no innocent person deserves that.

Let me know if you want me to clarify anything. Ain't a problem. <3

Need to vent about the other things happening? If you don't want to share, it's totally fine.
It won't let me message you but I do better with 1 by 1 photos or videos of what to do. They don't have that here. It's all reading. I'm not sad that I have this it just makes it hard for me to learn just by reading things here. But it's not why I want to die. Today I just got back the bad movies in my head that I didn't get in a long time. That made me feel way more bad.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,319
It must be really dreadful being trapped in that situation so I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, it's horrible how people have to suffer so unnecessarily in this existence.
 
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wheretfami

Member
Oct 2, 2023
62
It won't let me message you but I do better with 1 by 1 photos or videos of what to do. They don't have that here. It's all reading. I'm not sad that I have this it just makes it hard for me to learn just by reading things here. But it's not why I want to die. Today I just got back the bad movies in my head that I didn't get in a long time. That made me feel way more bad.
I want to echo FuneralCry, I'm so sorry life has put you in this box, I feel you and it's not fair.
Could I ask, how long have the movies been happening?
 

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