I’m tempted to do it today without much planning

[Spiritual survivor]

I want to do SN in my car. I will not have anything else besides a couple of clonazepam. I'm in a position where I feel trapped and I don't think I can handle homelessness especially without a car. I knew this day would come eventually that I'm backed into a corner. It all comes down to not being able to get my own place which makes everything so much harder. I won't have antiemetics, or time to fast forever. I'll try to at least measure it right and have two drinks. My car runs but not much longer without repairs that I can't afford.

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so trapped

I notice that under your name it says occasionally suicidal…. If this is just an impulse, and you have a faith and a life that goes beyond suicidal ideation, please slow down a little and consider if this is truly what you want

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful to feel so trapped, it really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point and causes people to suffer to such a great extent. But I hope that when the time is right for you to leave this world you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

It must be awful to feel so trapped, it really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point and causes people to suffer to such a great extent. But I hope that when the time is right for you to leave this world you find the freedom that you wish for.

Well it all boils down to being in this prison system. If a person does not own land that their property is on which they also own. You are at the mercy of living with other people often not by choice, but by necessity, u are easily kicked out of an apartment, the state can kick u out of your house if for some reason I can't pay property tax. I'm just tired of the stress of not having a place I don't have to worry about high rent, roommates, restrictions on where I can live etc. i don't expect it to be handed to me on a silver platter but I hate that housing is so hard to come by and the stress is killing me. I kno I can't get a decent job so I'll never have my own place

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am so sorry you feel that way. I myself feel trapped and want to do it tonight. While I wish and hope things could turn out differently for you so that you do not need to, I am grounded in reality that it doesn't always work out that way. I wish you had your ideal life, and I am sorry life has brought you to this point.

 

[lebrodude]

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I share the same despair.

However I don't think you should do this as unprepared as this, there is a higher chance for things to go wrong.

Take a deep breath and try to clear your head, it sounds like you need time to either fully plan or consider if it's what you really want.

Sending you love.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Doing things out of desperation rarely works out. I understand you are in a bind, a bad one, and I'm sorry for that. You need to at least take the time and think it through as best you can under your circumstances and make sure this is what is best or if there is ANYTHING else that can be done that you have not thought of. I hope something comes to mind and you can work this out in your best interests. I'm not telling you to not kill yourself. That is your decision. I'm just hoping you think things through rationally and make sure you are really at this point in your life where there is no other choice. Good luck.

 

[brokensea]

Have you reached out to see what services are available where you live for someone facing what you're up against? If they can provide food, housing support, etc is there anyone close you can stay with? I know a lot of people don't have anyone.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Have you reached out to see what services are available where you live for someone facing what you're up against? If they can provide food, housing support, etc is there anyone close you can stay with? I know a lot of people don't have anyone.

I don't really have anyone. No I haven't on services. I wish I could get assisted suicide.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so trapped

I notice that under your name it says occasionally suicidal…. If this is just an impulse, and you have a faith and a life that goes beyond suicidal ideation, please slow down a little and consider if this is truly what you want

I really don't want to die. But I don't have a way to live where I have peace of mind enough that life is worth living. I just don't want to live under the conditions I live under. Otherwise if I could improve them enough and not in many years but in the very near future. Yea then I would not want to die. Unfortunately that's not going to be happening.

 

[brokensea]

I don't really have anyone. No I haven't on services. I wish I could get assisted suicide.

I really don't want to die. But I don't have a way to live where I have peace of mind enough that life is worth living. I just don't want to live under the conditions I live under. Otherwise if I could improve them enough and not in many years but in the very near future. Yea then I would not want to die. Unfortunately that's not going to be happening.

Do you think reaching out to the local office might help see what resources they have available? It sucks but maybe you can get some financial assistance or temporary housing.

 

[FrankyPie]

I have to agree with those here that I think there may be a high chance you are currently experiencing a serious low in your life and you should seriously consider not doing it now.

It sounds like you are having a terrible time. There is a lot I don't know, so I can't comment on your options with clarity.

However, if you have family or friends who could possibly put you up for a while, I think it may be time to consider that option. If not, you should consider checking for a shelter nearby or some other group who offer services for the homeless. This is just something temporary to buy you time to figure things out.

I also have to mention that if you are taking drugs or drinking a lot, this is going to cloud your judgement enormously. Do not let those substances take control. Put them aside for now and resolve to come up with a plan for how to can get yourself out of this mess. If you are not abusing substances, ignore this point.

Summary:

1. Think if there is someone you know who you can call
2. You have the internet, so can you check for local shelters, etc. Just to get you over the night.
3. If you are engaging in any kind of substance abuse, you need to stop it or try to get help to help you stop it. If you are abusing substances, THAT is your current problem.
4. If you are not abusing substances, then grab a pen and write out your options as you see them. Coming up with a plan. It can be very liberating, believe me!