Venting I’m still alive.again

[tapewormsinthestool]

I guess the random user who messaged me that I'll have bad luck on my ctb date because mercury was doing. Something astrology related.I honestly don't remember. was right about 1 thing, because I fucked up just not being able to get actual rope and my noose snapped!! I cant believe it. It's like everything is doing all it can to keep me here so I can suffer more. I've just been marinating since just trying to get another date where no one would be bothering me, or around to stop me. I don't want to be here. I dont get why that's so much to ask for

I have a lot on my mind but I have no idea how to word it like I used to so I guess I'll just keep this post at that

 

[cluefixphantom]

Some people really have it easier than others when it comes to dying. I often read online news about accidents, crime, who has passed away. People die somewhere all the time, young and old, and not all of them suffer terribly.

Some have great lives, wonderful parents, successful careers, they have plans and then die from a heart attack they probably don't even notice. Or there's a gas leak somewhere, and they die in their sleep from carbon monoxide. Many died from Medical Fraud (beauty surgeries). Or some fall from somewhere and are instantly dead. Some just eat a pizza and die soon after from food poisoning or they drink 3 engery drinks and die from it. I drank 4 or 6 a day. Redbull gets rich but where are my wings?

I always hope maybe this day I die in my sleep. I don't know what comes after death, but it can't get worse than this imo.