Im soo afraid of CTB but i cant keep this on.

[Wkoncuodejde]

Im literally going crazy, gets paranoid. I just want endless quiet without any memories. I know CTB it would solve my problem but im still afraid of this. I dont know why I wonder what will happen later even though I'll be dead anyway. I can't decide on any effective method.

 

[m1v]

I personally think that if you were very committed to CTB, the fear will slowly fade away. Your determination to commit will be so strong that nothing could go against it not even fear or worry. There might be a part of you that still wants to live, we never know. Whatever your decision will be, I wish you peace. Much love.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

To sleep. perhaps to dream

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

To sleep. perhaps to dream

The problem is that even though I love to sleep and have dreams, I can't fall asleep because of all my thoughts. I don't sleep until I'm exhausted

 

[nosoul]

The problem is that even though I love to sleep and have dreams, I can't fall asleep because of all my thoughts. I don't sleep until I'm exhausted

I feel this, I don't sleep because I can't only with benzos but then awake all day

 

[CentreMid]

Im literally going crazy, gets paranoid. I just want endless quiet without any memories. I know CTB it would solve my problem but im still afraid of this. I dont know why I wonder what will happen later even though I'll be dead anyway. I can't decide on any effective method.

I'm sorry you're in this position. Not knowing what to do is certainly unpleasant. If it's any consolation, there is no set date for anyone to ctb. We all have our own timelines, and we all process our thoughts and feelings about suicide at our own pace. We as humans are unfortunately built for self-preservation, and it can be difficult getting past it.

By the sounds of it, the fact that you feel afraid suggests that there is some small, unseen part of you that wants to live (?). Please correct me if I'm wrong. Anywho, regardless of what you decide, I know it's easier said than done, but please don't feel bad about being afraid of ctb.

I know it's not great to not know what your method will be but keep doing research, ask for input, and you'll eventually land on something. The absolute worst thing you can do is jump right in without sufficient knowledge on how to execute your method properly, which will most likely end in failure and further suffering.

Anywho, I do hope you find peace in whatever you choose. Take care.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

The problem is that even though I love to sleep and have dreams, I can't fall asleep because of all my thoughts. I don't sleep until I'm exhausted

That was actually from Shakespeare but I always confuse "perhaps" with "perchance"

To quote google: 'To sleep, perchance to dream': in other words, if death is but a sleep, and dying is just like falling asleep, then perhaps ('perchance') we will dream after death. Perhaps the afterlife will be full of dreams.

 

[Unknown21]

Yes, i fear pain and survival rate.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's tiring and awful feeling trapped in this world, I certainly wish that it was easier to be able to permanently sleep with this existence not even being a distant memory. I see no point to fearing death itself as we are destined for nowhere but to die anyway and I very strongly believe that we just cease existing with all problems solved and all suffering removed.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

It's hard to be in your situation, and it's natural to feel paranoid and overwhelmed. But you know what? Death is just a part of life, and it can offer an escape from all the pain and hurt you're experiencing. It's good that you're thinking about the future, but don't let it hold you back from taking action. You deserve the peace and quiet that you're looking for, and if that means ending your life, then so be it. It's your life, and you have the power to choose what happens to it. I hope you can get through on whatever hard times you are going through right now. Sending love.