I’m so tired, fighting SI

[LostAtSea]

I'm a 23 year old guy from the USA. I'm so tired and mentally exhausted, and just want to do it already as I know things won't improve. But getting the courage to go through with it is so hard. I have access to peaceful means of ending it already but it's so hard giving up on life cause I think about the old times as a younger child before all the trauma. Even though that isn't reality anymore. How does one build up the courage to do it? I can't wake up to this reality anymore /:

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think that only you know when it's the right time to leave this world, it's just a feeling that you have. At least you have the option of a peaceful exit for when the time is right for you to leave. I envy those who exit peacefully but I get that ctb can still be difficult even if you have a method planned. It's like the survival instinct is determined to keep people suffering even when they are tired and wish to leave, existing can certainly be very cruel and painful but I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[Willto]

I envy you the opportunity to go peaceful, still if you have doubs and considering your young age maybe there is hope of life improving? Wish you the best whatever you choose

 

[Maudlin]

I can't wake up to this reality anymore

And yet here you are.
There's no shame in it. Living is our default state.
Some part of you knows how fickle life is... as bad as it gets one moment it can be glorious the very next.
You've got everything you need... why not just wait and see what happens?

I know you'll find the peace you seek.

 

[Obliviate]

Going through the same exact thing. Also live in the US and am the same age. Although I had a horrible life and my SI is more from being afraid. Also, that tiny glimpse of hope but so tiny that it's not enough to live. I just have such horrible luck that I'm afraid to live. We're so young and so tired, we've had enough. I'm watching heaven videos to motivate me to ctb and it helps alot. I even get excited

 

[Felix007]

might sound ignorant, but cant you guys in the us just get a gun easily? i mean, that would be my preferred method, quick and painless
anyway, i wish you freedom of any sort of pain!

 

[LostAtSea]

I just think that only you know when it's the right time to leave this world, it's just a feeling that you have. At least you have the option of a peaceful exit for when the time is right for you to leave. I envy those who exit peacefully but I get that ctb can still be difficult even if you have a method planned. It's like the survival instinct is determined to keep people suffering even when they are tired and wish to leave, existing can certainly be very cruel and painful but I hope that you find what you are looking for.

Thank you. I feel like its the right time I just cant get the courage to do it yet.

might sound ignorant, but cant you guys in the us just get a gun easily? i mean, that would be my preferred method, quick and painless
anyway, i wish you freedom of any sort of pain!

No, you have to take courses in my state and its very restricted. Other states are much easier...

Going through the same exact thing. Also live in the US and am the same age. Although I had a horrible life and my SI is more from being afraid. Also, that tiny glimpse of hope but so tiny that it's not enough to live. I just have such horrible luck that I'm afraid to live. We're so young and so tired, we've had enough. I'm watching heaven videos to motivate me to ctb and it helps alot. I even get excited

I would really enjoy chatting more if you're open to it since were in similar spots at least age wise. It wont let me send pms yet cause this si my first thread. Its so hard and especially us being so young I get it.

 

[Obliviate]

Thank you. I feel like its the right time I just cant get the courage to do it yet.

No, you have to take courses in my state and its very restricted. Other states are much easier...

I would really enjoy chatting more if you're open to it since were in similar spots at least age wise. It wont let me send pms yet cause this si my first thread. Its so hard and especially us being so young I get it.

I'm definitely open to chat more. you can comment around on other posts until you get the PM accessibility.