I’m so sick of trying anymore

[butterfly3]

I've tried so hard to better myself over the past 3 years to help me improve but it just won't work. even when I don't want to, i still push myself to get up in the morning, take care of my hygiene, attend classes but no matter how much I try, everything remains shit. nothing is getting better everything just stays bad. about a week ago I was trying to practice more gratitude even in hard times just so that life can at least feel bearable for me and i can try to acknowledge the things i have in life that other may not. since I tried doing that and implementing that into my life, I got scammed online, broke out in a terrible painful rash on my face that makes me look even uglier than before and will probably leave long lasting scars all over my cheeks, and have fallen back into my old binge eating habits that have caused me to gain weight and feel constantly bloated. so now I have these issues plus everything else going on in my life that was already there in the first place. I just want to go but I really don't want to hurt the people around me. i've already put my parents through a lot with my mental health.
I hate how so many other people in life have it so easy, that get everything they want, but I'm just a walking ball of bad luck.

 

[etherealgoddess]

I've tried so hard to better myself over that past 3 years to help me improve but it just won't work. even when I don't want to, i still push myself to get up in the morning, take care of my hygiene, attend classes but no matter how much I try, everything remains shit. nothing is getting better everything just stays bad. about a week ago I was trying to practice more gratitude even in hard times just so that life can at least feel bearable for me and i can try to acknowledge the things i have in life that other may not. since I tried doing that and implementing that into my life, I got scammed online, broke out in a terrible painful rash on my face that makes me look even uglier than before and will probably leave long lasting scars all over my cheeks, and have fallen back into my old binge eating habits that have caused me to gain weight and feel constantly bloated. so now I have these issues plus everything else going on in my life that was already there in the first place. I just want to go but I really don't want to hurt the people around me. i've already put my parents through a lot with my mental health.
I hate how so many other people in life have it so easy, that get everything they want, but I'm just a walking ball of bad luck.

I've been depressed for 4 years. I know how it feels when you want to improve your situation but keep falling back into the same problems. I told myself literally four times, especially at the beginning of the year, that my depression was finally over for it to finally come back as a huge goddamn wave in the second half. It is so tiring to be emotionally unstable. I wish I had different parents.

 

[Dogged fellow]

This is upsetting to hear but if it helps here are some kind words.

Even just trying to better yourself like this is a huge step many people aren't able to make. Even if you fail even if you are intercepted by plain bad luck always remember that you already accomplished a lot more than most by just trying. If you have been trying for 3 years i really believe that at some point you will manage to get a breakthrough. But just in case that time lies far away or doesnt come at all you can always vent either on this website or if you want even just to me i and most of us will listen if it helps.

 

[butterfly3]

This is upsetting to hear but if it helps here are some kind words.

Even just trying to better yourself like this is a huge step many people aren't able to make. Even if you fail even if you are intercepted by plain bad luck always remember that you already accomplished a lot more than most by just trying. If you have been trying for 3 years i really believe that at some point you will manage to get a breakthrough. But just in case that time lies far away or doesnt come at all you can always vent either on this website or if you want even just to me i and most of us will listen if it helps.

thank you so much :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so dreadful how people suffer so much in this existence all through no fault of their own, existence really is too cruel, it must be tiring being trapped in that situation but anyway best wishes.