I'm so damn lonely.

[NocturnalDistortion]

I wish I had a best friend to hang out with. Someone who is around the same age as me. I remember watching Bratz, Winx Club and My Little Pony and yearning for that kind of feminine, affectionate, supportive friend group. However, I don't need a whole friendgroup, I would love to have one best friend. I know it's mostly due to my actions,

I am hesitant to meeting people because I'm just too mentally exhausted at the moment for filtering out the healthy vs. unhealthy people, becoming friends with someone and then finding out later that they had negative intentions towards me, so I am putting it off for now.

I also realize that there are bigger priorities right now, I need to focus on my health and finances. Also, why should I expect others to want me if all I do is lay in bed all day and I'm too boring/socially clumsy to talk to? I should get some hobbies, work on my social skills and appearance and develop myself as a person before I make a good friend. I have more damning things to tackle than having a best friend, but the loneliness keeps persisting.

So maybe I don't want a best friend, I want to stop wanting a best friend, that's my frustration. I wish I could turn that loneliness off like a button.

 

[violetforever]

I remember watching Bratz, Winx Club and My Little Pony and yearning for that kind of feminine, affectionate, supportive friend group.

i loved all of these shows and the toys too, i still do

I am hesitant to meeting people because I'm just too mentally exhausted at the moment for filtering out the healthy vs. unhealthy people, becoming friends with someone and then finding out later that they had negative intentions towards me, so I am putting it off for now.

I also realize that there are bigger priorities right now, I need to focus on my health and finances. Also, why should I expect others to want me if all I do is lay in bed all day and I'm too boring/socially clumsy to talk to? I should get some hobbies, work on my social skills and appearance and develop myself as a person before I make a good friend. I have more damning things to tackle than having a best friend, but the loneliness keeps persisting.

i feel like i'm reading my own thoughts. i do think a real in person friendship would be nice but in my case i've gone without them for so long that i'm accustomed to being alone and i don't feel weird about it. i forget how to have them i think. i know how to be friendly around people but that behavior alone doesn't lead to friendship.

i also don't want to end up wasting my time on befriending someone i shouldn't have. my own family isn't kind so i don't expect strangers to be any better. even if i did find a friend, i'm too shy and reserved because i'd never (and never have in the past) fully open up to them about my problems, like my family, which makes it all pointless to me. i don't just want someone to do fun stuff with, i want someone to actually be able to talk with. i wouldn't even want anyone to meet my family or come to my house though.

i can't see anybody wanting to be my first and only friend after so long. i haven't had friends since i was 13 so maybe i still have a middle school view of friendships but i think even as adults nobody wants to befriend the friendless. it's just awkward for both people. i feel like they'd pity me and view me as reliant on them since i have no one else. i hate that feeling.

Also, why should I expect others to want me if all I do is lay in bed all day and I'm too boring/socially clumsy to talk to? I should get some hobbies, work on my social skills and appearance and develop myself as a person before I make a good friend.

i lay in bed all day right now too so i'm guessing you also don't have a job or go to school? from what i read you already sound kind and like a good friend yourself