Venting I'm scared

[rs929]

I have ordered the means to CTB and it has shipped. This is suddenly gettting real and I'm scared. I'm not an impulsive person and I don''t think I'm going to do it unless ready. But I'm really scared. I still want to have a normal life. But I have recurrent MDD. And I don't want to feel lonely. Or homeless as the market is really though for my profession now and if I get fired I don't think I'll find another job.

I thought this would give me peace of mind but I'm terrified now. Crying like a little child. My life sucks, and dying also sucks.

 

[princeseadove]

I felt really scared too. I'm still scared I think. It's okay to back out of it, dying isn't a race. Just know one way or another, you'll find your peace.

 

[moonflow3r]

I also purchased my means to leave this earth and i Am , excuse my language , shitting myself . I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this man . It's so fucking terrifying