Heavy_Metals117
Member
- May 24, 2026
- 10
Hi all, this is my first time using this website and group messaging like this in general. I've been looking at so many threads for so long on PSH and was prepared for it to be a difficult method to prepare, but it wasn't for me and that scares me. I hoped it would be more difficult so I could think about it more, but the hardest part is going to be finding a good time to do it and following through.
I feel so guilty that it was so easy for me to find my carotid arteries because from what I've read, it's one of the hardest steps to overcome with this method for some people. I found them my first try with the sock method with a rope that I thought would be too thick. I used my hands pulling at the back of my neck and I fell over in about 2 seconds. Too make sure I did it again with the same result. That was last night.
I went to sleep to try to feel better but it was the same as always. A nightmare followed by regret for waking up. Nothing seems to help, not medication, not therapy, not hospitalization. I just wish I could just go out and talk to people, but I'm so scared of new environments and talking to people randomly that I just can't. I've never been able to talk to people except for about 3 friends over the course of my life. This is becoming a ramble.
I still don't know when I'll do it, but probably at night and outside since there is the only "reliable" anchor. I live in the middle of nowhere since my family took me back in, so they're the only ones who could see. I just don't want to be hospitalized again, it's a horrible experience. Last time it was for OD and it was impulsive and not planned. I'm used to failing though. This time I don't think I would.
I feel so guilty that it was so easy for me to find my carotid arteries because from what I've read, it's one of the hardest steps to overcome with this method for some people. I found them my first try with the sock method with a rope that I thought would be too thick. I used my hands pulling at the back of my neck and I fell over in about 2 seconds. Too make sure I did it again with the same result. That was last night.
I went to sleep to try to feel better but it was the same as always. A nightmare followed by regret for waking up. Nothing seems to help, not medication, not therapy, not hospitalization. I just wish I could just go out and talk to people, but I'm so scared of new environments and talking to people randomly that I just can't. I've never been able to talk to people except for about 3 friends over the course of my life. This is becoming a ramble.
I still don't know when I'll do it, but probably at night and outside since there is the only "reliable" anchor. I live in the middle of nowhere since my family took me back in, so they're the only ones who could see. I just don't want to be hospitalized again, it's a horrible experience. Last time it was for OD and it was impulsive and not planned. I'm used to failing though. This time I don't think I would.
