I'm not sure if i'm sad but i still wanna kill myself

[anyoneshorizon]

It is very liberating to have the option paired with little to no responsibilities. My future is sorta bright and with some effort im sure, i can be successful like many people. But suicide is something that is always on my mind the effect varies on my situation and mood. When i'm at home chilling its there but not super strong. When i feel bad or uncomfortable it is very strong. Soon my SN will arrive soon when the urge is strong I'll just fucking kill myself and just do whatever. I feel that i'll always wanna killmyself even if life is going good and i feel that it will be the way i go out. Just a matter of time. I don't even know how i feel it's just always there that feeling of wanting to killyself

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be relieved at having the option to leave. I personally see ctb as being the best way to die as after all we will all die eventually so it's preferable to exit at a time of my own choosing rather than it being at a time out of my control.
I wish you the best.

 

[makethepainstop]

Love and peace to you, may you find your way.

 

[Hollowillow]

It is very liberating to have the option paired with little to no responsibilities. My future is sorta bright and with some effort im sure, i can be successful like many people. But suicide is something that is always on my mind the effect varies on my situation and mood. When i'm at home chilling its there but not super strong. When i feel bad or uncomfortable it is very strong. Soon my SN will arrive soon when the urge is strong I'll just fucking kill myself and just do whatever. I feel that i'll always wanna killmyself even if life is going good and i feel that it will be the way i go out. Just a matter of time. I don't even know how i feel it's just always there that feeling of wanting to killyself

"I'd rather die" is a common expression?

I also plan to go on impulse...

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes when I still want to do it when I'm ok-ish- it reassures me- like it's not an impulsive thing- not that impulses are bad either. I just feel like it's always portrayed like that whereas I think it can be a rational decision. Think I'd rather have an attempt in a calm state of mind regardless. Just in case hell is something our mind conjures up just before the end. Think I've got more chance of dodging that if I'm as calm as possible (if that is possible- expect I'll be bricking it).

 

[anyoneshorizon]

"I'd rather die" is a common expression?

I also plan to go on impulse...

same

 

[theboy]

I understand you
For me, suicide will always be an option.