I don't think that I should have to live a life in which I'm not happy. I don't think that misery should be the default and that happiness is something that should be sacrificed for and earned. I really don't. I want to feel valued. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that. I want to feel loved and appreciated. I don't think I'm being entitled in feeling like this. If having the life I want (within an existence I never asked to be in) is too much to ask, then I won't live it. I don't feel I have to take what life gives me. If having love and blessing in my life is too unrealistic, then I don't want to be in this reality. I don't feel like I have to "just stick it out" in a life that will always treat me unfairly. I don't feel like I'm "giving up." If I gave everything I had, then I'm not giving up. I'm done with trying to turn this existence around into a positive for myself. I don't have the energy to go out and try to build new relationships anymore. I don't have another adventure in me. I'm fucking tired. I accomplished a lot, in spite of my trauma that I carry around. I think I've done enough. People think that you should just carry trauma around as some show of strength. But life isn't some extreme sport. I approach life as simply an experience. Well, now I'm done with this experience. I'm ready to move on.
I don't think that I have to live an unhappy existence.
I don't think that I have to live an unhappy existence.
