Venting I'm not able to even CTB and it sucks.

[Maw]

I can't even kill myself.

- SN:
I don't know a source for SN in Egypt, might look through FB though.
- Hanging:
I don't know where to get rope, I don't have anything to hang it to, and I don't know how I'd put pressure to the cordial artery or how to do it right.
- Car Crash:
I don't have a driver's licence nor do I know how to drive.
- Gun:
I don't have access to guns in Egypt since to get a licence you'd need to own land or have a viable reason like self protection in a case etc... I will probably use one in my Mandatory military one year service training but that's still 3-4 years from now and I can't wait that long to CTB.
- Cutting:
Arteries aren't easy to cut through, and the extensive bleeding and cutting itself would be too unbearable without a drug or something to reduce pain. Also would be too noticeable and it would probably need multiple tries.
- Pure helium:
Not sure where to get it.
- Potassium cyanide:
Not sure where to get it.
- Herbs and drugs:
Not sure where to get it.
... I hate this, why does even suicide have to be complicated? I wanna fuckin die

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate to being unable to ctb and I understand the pain that you're going through due to being trapped in this dreadful world. I'm sorry for your suffering

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I hear ya. Everything seems soooo complicated and honestly, I am not that smart to begin with lol. Even if I had somewhere to hang myself the knot tying part seems too complicated. And any real attempt takes so much planning and it's like the stars would have to align perfectly to even have a chance of it working.
My first stupid attempt was putting a bag over my head with some otc sleep aids. I had no idea how powerful SI was at the time. swore I would never try that stupid way again. But on a bad day after thinking about it and seeing a thread about it on here, I did buy handcuffs in case I ever want to give the plastic bag a shot again and use the handcuffs to override the SI. so dumb, I know but it seems like the only realistic method I might be capable of.
But honestly, I don't know if I won't ever actually try to ctb again especially after seeing all the failed attempt stories on sasu.
Sometimes that's a very disheartening thought.

 

[pariah80]

Wait. Someone has to own land to get a gun? Wow. That's rough. I'm sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I also feel trapped in this cruel existence, all I wish and hope for is to painlessly die and it feels so horrible how I just cannot and the suffering continues instead, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence, I wish painless death is accessible for me.

 

[Maw]

I hear ya. Everything seems soooo complicated and honestly, I am not that smart to begin with lol. Even if I had somewhere to hang myself the knot tying part seems too complicated. And any real attempt takes so much planning and it's like the stars would have to align perfectly to even have a chance of it working.
My first stupid attempt was putting a bag over my head with some otc sleep aids. I had no idea how powerful SI was at the time. swore I would never try that stupid way again. But on a bad day after thinking about it and seeing a thread about it on here, I did buy handcuffs in case I ever want to give the plastic bag a shot again and use the handcuffs to override the SI. so dumb, I know but it seems like the only realistic method I might be capable of.
But honestly, I don't know if I won't ever actually try to ctb again especially after seeing all the failed attempt stories on sasu.
Sometimes that's a very disheartening thought.

It is, I can't believe even jus dying has to have so much effort.