I'm killing myself for my birthday

[MiMif]

I've kept holding onto hope things would get better but I come to the realization they'll never get better cause I'm me. The problem in my life is and has always been me. The only way for me to be happy is if I wasn't me...meaning there is no way.

I've been saying I'll do things but never doing them holding them off for years continuing to tell myself once I do them my life will get better. I have yet to do them stilll....

My birthday is in a few days I've decided to give myself a gift. Its summer break rn so I'm at my parents house. I'm going to try to find their gun but if I don't I'm slitting my wrist and jumping. Or I might run away from home and kill myself once I get tired of it. I've lived a truly pathetic existence ...

 

[Thomas599]

For me too, 12, October.

 

[Pure Vanilla]

what specifically makes you the problem? Do you have anger issues or something of that nature?

 

[MiMif]

what specifically makes you the problem? Do you have anger issues or something of that nature?

I ruin all my relationships. I make others around me miserable. I want for everything and nothing at the same time I'm never satisfied. I'm a jerk....I recently had a thought to myself wishing for my pet to die soon cause I find her a hassle to take care of. I wish I was never born. There is not a singular thing I enjoy. It's been around 8 months since my last attempt. The police got involved and I decided to get better....in all that time nothing has changed. I give up

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.