Venting I’m drowning

[deletedaccount30982]

I feel like I'm being pulled under. I've been so numb the last couple of days that it's so fucking painful. I've been telling staff how much I'm struggling because fuck it what else do I have to lose. They keep asking me what I need and I keep telling them that I don't fucking know. There is genuinely nothing that makes me feel better. Anything that does is extremely fleeting. I am so fucking ready to go. Let me die god please let me die. A few more weeks is my guess as to how much longer I'll be here. The day I discharge from here is the day I die.

 

[timmy_o]

I can relate to how fleeting the distractions are. For me, the distractions are a bigger part of my day through formed habits than anything else.
Any time I'm not working or distracting myself, my thoughts shift to existential, and then to suicidal. Then I feel stuck, and need to distract myself and the cycle continues.
Hoping you find peace in whatever form you can.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

relatable. you hold your hand out hoping someone will pull you out. They never do. They don't care if we die because we're seen as "fucked up" therefore avoided. Some of us have big hearts and can be a great person to have around, not to sound arrogant, but I think I am ok in that regard I am cool with others if they are cool with me despite my mental demons trying their hardest to beat any sense of worth down within me. All I can say is try to find something that will distract you, it could be the most dumbest thing because the moment you are in your head is when the darkness embraces you and feeling that sensation of being on the brink to oblivion.

 

[deletedaccount30982]

I'm struggling so fucking bad.

 

[elkheart]

relatable. you hold your hand out hoping someone will pull you out. They never do. They don't care if we die because we're seen as "fucked up" therefore avoided. Some of us have big hearts and can be a great person to have around, not to sound arrogant, but I think I am ok in that regard I am cool with others if they are cool with me despite my mental demons trying their hardest to beat any sense of worth down within me. All I can say is try to find something that will distract you, it could be the most dumbest thing because the moment you are in your head is when the darkness embraces you and feeling that sensation of being on the brink to oblivion.

I feel so absolutely seen right now, this stopped me in my tracks. Reading this just moved a little part of me closer to healing. Thank you friend

I'm struggling so fucking bad.

I've been reading some of your more current threads, sending you peace.

 

[tiredoflife2]

Life is mentally and physically exhausting

 

[Odd socks]

I can relate to how fleeting the distractions are. For me, the distractions are a bigger part of my day through formed habits than anything else.
Any time I'm not working or distracting myself, my thoughts shift to existential, and then to suicidal. Then I feel stuck, and need to distract myself and the cycle continues.
Hoping you find peace in whatever form you can.

I have had to use behavioural techniques to stop me continually thinking about suicide. The time is not right. I have an old dog I don't want to abandon. My wife and children can deal with their feelings of loss, their feelings are not my responsibility.