Venting Im back..

[azalea087]

I havent logged on here in a while because things were looking up but of course it didnt
not to excited that im back here (not to be rude, just because of that small hope that things will get better)
Things have gotten worse since my last thread.
I was planning to ctb after doing the last things i wanted to do in life
Sadly those things were drugs and video games.
I lost 90% of my friends because i realized they were just using me for stuff/money, i cut them off but now i have like 3 people that i can text that would respond. (I should be grateful because thats more than some people)
I hooked up with an ex girlfriend and I ended up trying

heroin


, since then i havent felt a single ounce of emotion and happiness that could even compare to that, i used what i had left and now i feel the worst i imagine anyone can. The only reason i havent offed myself is because im praying that maybe theres some plan for my life, im deeply desperate for anything right now, the only thing i have to look forward to right now is getting a job somewhere and hopefully meeting people. I seriously just dont think it can get much worse.
Im sorry if this is in the wrong place since it is more about recovery then ctb

Tldr: addicted to heroin, life cant get worse

It sounds like a joke and like that it isnt real but its this bad, i cant even sleep anymore because every dream is about a better life than the one im living, i cant watch any social media or youtube because it just shows me people in amazing relationships or people with a fuck ton of money it's impossible to live without being hit in the face with how much better everyone else has it, every fucking second of my life is terrible its so weird to just say that i want it to end but i do, i miss my girlfriend i miss being happy

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly is so awful when existing here just continues to get worse, life really is just so unnecessarily cruel and to me it's horrible how we exist in a world where there is no limit as to how much we can suffer. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[LittleJem]

I was so bored and lonely today I considered NA meetings. They are not really my thing, but people go for coffee after some of them so you can meet people in the same situation and I guess consider giving up heroin. There is another drug support thing in my area called Smart Recovery which is also worth looking up and different to twelve steps.

There are people who give up heroin and I wish you luck. Ibogaine is a shamanic plant medicine particularly helpful for heroin. It can be risky but you will also find success stories online: https://amp.theguardian.com/society...ction-treatment-gabon-withdrawal-danger-death

 

[Azora]

If you're directionless and an addict then maybe rehab could be helpful.

 

[azalea087]

If you're directionless and an addict then maybe rehab could be helpful.

Maybe.

 

[LittleJem]

I just went to a SMART recovery group. Mainly for something to do. We are bored, lonely, unemployed. So I guess to meet other people it's worth going, and for recovery encouragement. Anyway, there were biscuits. They have them three times a week where I am - so something to do…

Worth trying maybe? -
Also get a key worker?
Honestly, am bored out my wits but existing…

 

[H.O.Xan]

use clean needles. i've nothing else to say

 

[Unwr!tten]

Hey, if you need someone to talk to, you can always message me.