Venting I'm alone

[Joansoon]

Well the guy who broke up with me at the beginning of July, officially told me today that he doesn't want me to reach out or video call him anymore/again.

I kept hope that we'd work things out but clearly that's not happening. I mean I asked him if he still wanted to talk to me because he was being very hot /cold in his behaviour but it still hurts.

He said he's very stressed and he needs to focus on himself totally for his full recovery. I feel like such a burden. I can't say anything because he's allowed to feel how he does but I feel discarded. I guess I'm being childish and petulant.

To top it off, I'm anxious attachment, so I'm not doing well. And this was just another reminder that I literally don't have anything going for me and nothing to look forward to. I have to let go of my dream of being with him, a life together, and all the goodness our interactions had.

I feel so sad and depressed AGAIN. And I hate that talking to ppl irl, they tell you change your thinking, get over it etc. If it was that easy - trust I'll do it. I don't want to feel this way but I do.

I still wish he comes back when he feels better but he won't. Maybe it's just a cop out too to go out with someone else.

I wish I could manifest dying in my sleep. That would be an easy way out.

 

[Manfrotto99]

As an anxious attachment type myself, I honestly feel for you. It's like we are ment to be in a relationship as relationships can bring out the best in us by making us feel secure and confident as that's what we crave the most, but then the opposite ends up happening as we seem to attract avoidance types like bees to honey. Well they are at least better than the narcissistic ones. I ended up alone but with 3 male exes as close friends. All avoidance types who never had another relationship over the years, cause really they prefer to be alone, the opposite of me. But avoidant types make good friends because deep down they are very similar, with intense issues of anxiety and fear of abandonment. They just react differently to us. Sounds like he is avoidant, they easily feel anxious and pressured but need time alone to deal with their stress. Which they often do by avoiding it as much as they can. A relationship is often added stress they are unable to deal will. Thats just what these types are like. If you want him around, Let him know your there for him, send him little reminders of nice things that make him feel less pressured and stressed but also show concern and that your not offended much by his rejection and can get on with your life. Eventally he may come back on his own, avoidance types often do and when he does, it may surprise but you may atart to see his problems with avoidance and he may not seem as appealing as he once was to you. Sometimes the hardest thing is dealing with how you are left feeling and the rejection of it all, faced once again with the feeling of insecurity you proberly know all too well. Changing the way you feel is the only thing you can really alter. Church, God, a couple of good friends and a good psychologist to help me understand myself, are things that have helped me from falling completely into the abyss over a man. It's up to you to find your own way, I wish you luck

 

[HowToCTB]

If I may ask, what caused the breakup?