I'm allergic to meto. Guess I'm CTB by shotgun instead of SN.

[PepperJam]

Well. I got everything I needed to CTB with SN. I mean absolutely everything. Gave my meto a test run and found out I have a terrible reaction to it. Now I'm debating whether to thug it out with the SN plan without meto or just use a shotgun instead.

The reason I chose SN in the first place is because I wanted to feel my last moments as I drift off. I wanted to experience that phenomenon scientists talk about where your brain replays your best memories as your brain shuts down.

But with my recent discovery, I'm wondering if it's even worth it. Should I just go with a shotgun and hopefully feel nothing? Lights out?

Either way, I need to dissappear and soon. I'm debating between two luxuries when it comes to CTB. Most people don't get access to either of these methods so easily.

That said- if I do go the shotgun route- should I aim for the roof of my mouth or just straight back? And should I get as short a barrel as I can on it so I can actually reach the trigger on the damn thing? Or is that a bad idea?

 

[TAW122]

It is likely you would not feel a thing and die from the destruction of brain tissue (soft and spongy). Since the shotgun is astronomically powerful, I don't think aiming exactly at point blank matters much, just NEVER under the chin as that introduces a greater risk of failure (blowing off the face and surviving with horrific injuries, disfigured, and likely a vegetable).

I am personally going to go via the firearm route too.

 

[wannabeangel]

i also have a very bad reaction to meto when i tried it for gastroparesis, i have neurological issues already and meto can trigger it to be worse or cause new issues, and it also just messed with my brain in general it just felt wrong it's hard to explain. i personally plan on just using zofran + weed as my antiemetics. it's not the kind of antiemetic listed in the PPH, but with my research higher doses i take are given to people on chemo, so i planned on using the chemo dose. im not sure how easy it is to get zofran, as i got a prescription for it because of my chronic nausea and vomiting from gastroparesis, i got on it after i shared meto gave me bad side effects. complaining about constant nausea and not keeping food down enough while also saying meto in the past gave you terrible side effects should make it easier to get a Rx for it, im unsure if you could get it OTC or in other ways. zofran does help keeping me from throwing up as often as i used to, sometimes i still feel queasy after taking it but then i got weed lol, but im also getting queasy still because my stomach wasnt emptying, in a person without that issue zofran should work a lot better

shotgun route i am unsure of exactly because its scary to me but i researched a bit out of fear of the thought of someone i love shooting himself and i had to understand how it would feel and be (which calmed me slightly since it seems even if you got shot in the brain but not brainstem, you're too confused to feel the pain from your brain getting damaged, and die from the trauma of it), but from what i recall i just know you have to aim for the brainstem. and you cant like aim straight up, some people it seems they put it under their chin or maybe angled it wrong in their mouth, and it just blows up the front of their face without hitting the brain, the videos i saw of those surviving that and in the hospital is horrifying because after that their face is gone and you can tell they try to talk but they dont have a mouth to anymore. so with the shotgun stuff you need to be really aware of what you're doing. i dont say all that to try and scare you, i say it in hopes i can protect you from accidentally doing the same i saw in videos and being tormented and in pain even more, if you make your choice i at least pray that it's painless and peaceful, and that no mistakes that cause bad damage in any way

 

[knowledgeseeking]

If SN is how you want to go, you still could. Meto is what is recommended but plenty of people have taken SN route successfully without it. I would recommend you take some anti emetic. I would try Zofran or at the very least OTC options. Just with OTC options, make sure they don't take time to be fully effective. Some of them you make to start a few days prior.

If that doesn't work you, the firearm will get the job done.

 

[PepperJam]

i also have a very bad reaction to meto when i tried it for gastroparesis, i have neurological issues already and meto can trigger it to be worse or cause new issues, and it also just messed with my brain in general it just felt wrong it's hard to explain. i personally plan on just using zofran + weed as my antiemetics. it's not the kind of antiemetic listed in the PPH, but with my research higher doses i take are given to people on chemo, so i planned on using the chemo dose. im not sure how easy it is to get zofran, as i got a prescription for it because of my chronic nausea and vomiting from gastroparesis, i got on it after i shared meto gave me bad side effects. complaining about constant nausea and not keeping food down enough while also saying meto in the past gave you terrible side effects should make it easier to get a Rx for it, im unsure if you could get it OTC or in other ways. zofran does help keeping me from throwing up as often as i used to, sometimes i still feel queasy after taking it but then i got weed lol, but im also getting queasy still because my stomach wasnt emptying, in a person without that issue zofran should work a lot better

shotgun route i am unsure of exactly because its scary to me but i researched a bit out of fear of the thought of someone i love shooting himself and i had to understand how it would feel and be (which calmed me slightly since it seems even if you got shot in the brain but not brainstem, you're too confused to feel the pain from your brain getting damaged, and die from the trauma of it), but from what i recall i just know you have to aim for the brainstem. and you cant like aim straight up, some people it seems they put it under their chin or maybe angled it wrong in their mouth, and it just blows up the front of their face without hitting the brain, the videos i saw of those surviving that and in the hospital is horrifying because after that their face is gone and you can tell they try to talk but they dont have a mouth to anymore. so with the shotgun stuff you need to be really aware of what you're doing. i dont say all that to try and scare you, i say it in hopes i can protect you from accidentally doing the same i saw in videos and being tormented and in pain even more, if you make your choice i at least pray that it's painless and peaceful, and that no mistakes that cause bad damage in any way

It's interesting you mention meto worsening neurological issues. I said "allergic" in the post for simplicity's sake, but that is exactly what happened to me. I've been dealing with neurological issues that have been slowly eating away at my motor control and even voice for the past year or so.

Taking that meto immediately caused me to start convulsing and shaking violently. It even messed me up so badly that I had a psychotic break and now occasionally have debilitating panic attack-like moments where reality doesn't feel real. Just that one 10mg dose of meto felt like it progressed whatever I have.

My neurological issues have been one reason I need to CTB. As much as I hope to figure out what's going on, I've slowly realized that my issues are in fact neurological and probably have no cure. And of course, living in the US, getting treatment is nigh impossible since I'm poor.
I

If SN is how you want to go, you still could. Meto is what is recommended but plenty of people have taken SN route successfully without it. I would recommend you take some anti emetic. I would try Zofran or at the very least OTC options. Just with OTC options, make sure they don't take time to be fully effective. Some of them you make to start a few days prior.

If that doesn't work you, the firearm will get the job done.

I've heard OTC nausea meds don't work due to anti-emetics being needed in particular. I suppose I could always try a different anti-emetic, but I'm terrified of the same thing happening with it. That experience with the meto was one of the worst things I've ever endured.

 

[wannabeangel]

It's interesting you mention meto worsening neurological issues. I said "allergic" in the post for simplicity's sake, but that is exactly what happened to me. I've been dealing with neurological issues that have been slowly eating away at my motor control and even voice for the past year or so.

Taking that meto immediately caused me to start convulsing and shaking violently. It even messed me up so badly that I had a psychotic break and now occasionally have debilitating panic attack-like moments where reality doesn't feel real. Just that one 10mg dose of meto felt like it progressed whatever I have.

My neurological issues have been one reason I need to CTB. As much as I hope to figure out what's going on, I've slowly realized that my issues are in fact neurological and probably have no cure. And of course, living in the US, getting treatment is nigh impossible since I'm poor.

its sadly one of the side effects of it, i had a similar reaction, i have tourettes that can get severe at times, and had attacks when i was a lot younger before being diagnosed where my body will convulse and contort while shaking triggered by anxiety/arguments/extreme stress, and when i tried that med in the hospital while my GP was severe i would start to get that kind of attack again instead of what my tic attacks changed into over the years. with the way my body moves during some episodes tho it makes me wonder if i got more neuro issues that just aren't diagnosed yet, especially when i had a seizure as a kid where i froze apparently for 30 sec with my eyes rolling back when i was talking to my mom about something stressful, but i dont remember freezing i just tried to instantly take a nap

i looked up some of the side effects to share

• Tardive Dyskinesia: Involuntary, jerky, or rhythmic movements of the tongue, face, mouth, or limbs.
• Parkinsonian-like Symptoms: Tremors, bradykinesia (slow movement), cogwheel rigidity, or mask-like face.
• Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS):High fever, severe muscle stiffness, confusion, and irregular heart rate.
• Severe Depression/Suicidal Ideation: Mental health changes.
• Fluid Retention: Can cause issues in patients with heart failure or cirrhosis

so this med is honestly risky imo, it works for some people but if you get any neuro symptoms while on it, then it should be avoided because sometimes if someone takes it too long while having those side effects it can be permanent. the physical symptoms of what was going on neurologically was painful enough, but the way it made my mind feel on top of it was terrible, its hard to pinpoint the feeling because that stay was traumatic so its a bit blurry, but i felt like something was terribly wrong just from one pill to test if it would help me eat without vomiting. like almost a paranoia, and i was terribly anxious on it, i already have an anxiety disorder but the amount of panic it gave me was so different. i hate that med honestly, i feel like it should be mentioned more that it can have these side effects so you gotta be careful

both my neuro and physical and psychological issues have also been a big reason why i want to CTB, its hell to deal with your own brain being against you and your body as well

 

[PepperJam]

its sadly one of the side effects of it, i had a similar reaction, i have tourettes that can get severe at times, and had attacks when i was a lot younger before being diagnosed where my body will convulse and contort while shaking triggered by anxiety/arguments/extreme stress, and when i tried that med in the hospital while my GP was severe i would start to get that kind of attack again instead of what my tic attacks changed into over the years. with the way my body moves during some episodes tho it makes me wonder if i got more neuro issues that just aren't diagnosed yet, especially when i had a seizure as a kid where i froze apparently for 30 sec with my eyes rolling back when i was talking to my mom about something stressful, but i dont remember freezing i just tried to instantly take a nap

i looked up some of the side effects to share

• Tardive Dyskinesia: Involuntary, jerky, or rhythmic movements of the tongue, face, mouth, or limbs.
• Parkinsonian-like Symptoms: Tremors, bradykinesia (slow movement), cogwheel rigidity, or mask-like face.
• Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS):High fever, severe muscle stiffness, confusion, and irregular heart rate.
• Severe Depression/Suicidal Ideation: Mental health changes.
• Fluid Retention: Can cause issues in patients with heart failure or cirrhosis

so this med is honestly risky imo, it works for some people but if you get any neuro symptoms while on it, then it should be avoided because sometimes if someone takes it too long while having those side effects it can be permanent. the physical symptoms of what was going on neurologically was painful enough, but the way it made my mind feel on top of it was terrible, its hard to pinpoint the feeling because that stay was traumatic so its a bit blurry, but i felt like something was terribly wrong just from one pill to test if it would help me eat without vomiting. like almost a paranoia, and i was terribly anxious on it, i already have an anxiety disorder but the amount of panic it gave me was so different. i hate that med honestly, i feel like it should be mentioned more that it can have these side effects so you gotta be careful

both my neuro and physical and psychological issues have also been a big reason why i want to CTB, its hell to deal with your own brain being against you and your body as well

Yeah.. that describes some of my issues pretty well. Still dealing with the fallout of just a single dose. Hoping things get better for the both of us.

 

[wannabeangel]

Yeah.. that describes some of my issues pretty well. Still dealing with the fallout of just a single dose. Hoping things get better for the both of us.

im so sorry you're still struggling with the fallout, a single dose a few years ago fucked me up a lot too, i hope it gets better for the both of us too but especially you

 

[PepperJam]

im so sorry you're still struggling with the fallout, a single dose a few years ago fucked me up a lot too, i hope it gets better for the both of us too but especially you

Thank you for the kind words.

If I may ask.. how long did it affect you? I got better over the course of around a week, at least on my psychological issues, but I'm still not entirely better. How long was that road for you, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[purebliss]

Well. I got everything I needed to CTB with SN. I mean absolutely everything. Gave my meto a test run and found out I have a terrible reaction to it. Now I'm debating whether to thug it out with the SN plan without meto or just use a shotgun instead.

The reason I chose SN in the first place is because I wanted to feel my last moments as I drift off. I wanted to experience that phenomenon scientists talk about where your brain replays your best memories as your brain shuts down.

But with my recent discovery, I'm wondering if it's even worth it. Should I just go with a shotgun and hopefully feel nothing? Lights out?

Either way, I need to dissappear and soon. I'm debating between two luxuries when it comes to CTB. Most people don't get access to either of these methods so easily.

That said- if I do go the shotgun route- should I aim for the roof of my mouth or just straight back? And should I get as short a barrel as I can on it so I can actually reach the trigger on the damn thing? Or is that a bad idea?

You lucky person got access to a shotgun :P

Probably the best way to go.
As said before, don't angle it under the chin but else this is pretty much instant death.
If you do not want to pull the trigger yourself you could maybe build a small mechanism to pull the trigger for you with an arduino and a stepper motor.
Only has to hold for one shot.
Depends on if you are scared of "pulling the trigger" literally.

 

[PepperJam]

You lucky person got access to a shotgun :P

Probably the best way to go.
As said before, don't angle it under the chin but else this is pretty much instant death.
If you do not want to pull the trigger yourself you could maybe build a small mechanism to pull the trigger for you with an arduino and a stepper motor.
Only has to hold for one shot.
Depends on if you are scared of "pulling the trigger" literally.

I have rather long arms so I'm sure I could manage. I think I'll just get the shortest barrel I can manage to find and go for the roof of the mouth if I do decide on that route.

 

[wannabeangel]

If I may ask.. how long did it affect you? I got better over the course of around a week, at least on my psychological issues, but I'm still not entirely better. How long was that road for you, if you don't mind me asking?

i dont mind questions! my memory is quite blurry because most hospital visits were either traumatic or triggering, but the feelings it gave me did linger for a while, about a week sounds accurate for my mind to feel better, it's hard to tell which of my issues were made worse by the medication or if it's just my brain or being overmedicated through childhood could be a factor. i tried that med in the hospital before i got my feeding tube in 2023, and since then some of my neuro issues calmed down over the years, i have less violent tic attacks now and they're less often. i still struggle with rage attacks/neuro storms when frustrated, i feel like my tolerance to frustration lessened as my neuro shit got worse, but currently it's been easier to deal with. or i just am having a calm period because it fluctuates. but i haven't had my brain and body feel like it did on that med and felt more recovered by it after maybe a few weeks at most. i wish i had better memory to be more detailed :c i might ask my mom what she remembers when she isnt tired

how long if takes can be different for each person tho, we all have a different biological makeup that reacts differently to others in different ways. but from what i read anyone who had more permanent issues from it is because they used it long term, its usually easier to recover from just one dose i think

 

[purebliss]

I have rather long arms so I'm sure I could manage. I think I'll just get the shortest barrel I can manage to find and go for the roof of the mouth if I do decide on that route.

That sounds reasonable
Consider me jealous of your swift exit. For me I would have to endure the SN or get over the claustrophobic feeling of the exit bag~ :P
Just kidding, just kidding. I hope it all goes well.
And if you decide otherwise there is help, too. Although I don't know how well that works out in the US I have to admit

 

[PepperJam]

i dont mind questions! my memory is quite blurry because most hospital visits were either traumatic or triggering, but the feelings it gave me did linger for a while, about a week sounds accurate for my mind to feel better, it's hard to tell which of my issues were made worse by the medication or if it's just my brain or being overmedicated through childhood could be a factor. i tried that med in the hospital before i got my feeding tube in 2023, and since then some of my neuro issues calmed down over the years, i have less violent tic attacks now and they're less often. i still struggle with rage attacks/neuro storms when frustrated, i feel like my tolerance to frustration lessened as my neuro shit got worse, but currently it's been easier to deal with. or i just am having a calm period because it fluctuates. but i haven't had my brain and body feel like it did on that med and felt more recovered by it after maybe a few weeks at most. i wish i had better memory to be more detailed :c i might ask my mom what she remembers when she isnt tired

how long if takes can be different for each person tho, we all have a different biological makeup that reacts differently to others in different ways. but from what i read anyone who had more permanent issues from it is because they used it long term, its usually easier to recover from just one dose i think

Thank you for the answer. I'll be waiting for my health to hopefully improve and I hope things go well for you too. I wish you the best.

 

[wannabeangel]

Thank you for the answer. I'll be waiting for my health to hopefully improve and I hope things go well for you too. I wish you the best.

its no problem, i wish the best for you too and i hope your health improves soon and quickly