Venting i'm a fuck up

[eyenumbing]

i had to break up with my partner recently due to how much of a burden i was on him. he has so many things to look out for in life. he's already traveling the world, making new friends, has a good paying job set up for him once he graduates uni. he has so much good to offer into this world, so much passion and joy for doing what he loves. i have nothing. absolutely nothing. i'm always causing him stress and anxiety from the amount of times i have vent to him about not wanting to live or not having any purpose at all in life. i don't know why he chose to stay with me when i have nothing to offer. he always does the most in the relationship, always the one to reach out first. i'm a terrible person for all of this. i didn't deserve everything that he has done for me. nothing has changed. his advice stuck with me but i cannot lie to him and tell him that i'll be alright knowing that i've been thinking about killing myself this whole time. suicide is inevitable for me.