Discussion If someone loved you, would you still want to die?

[Pistolero114]

They do & I do.

 

[Midnight]

I honestly don't know ... It "saved" me once but left an even deeper hole when she packed her shit and left. I don't see anyone loving me in a way that we could stay together for the rest of our lives. Thinking logically about my chances of finding this love that could persevere i'd be better off the way i am now than start looking for the unobtainable again.

 

[The Mute Viking]

The only person I ever loved recently left me for someone else. He was only thing that mattered to me. He left without so much as telling me. He ghosted me for two weeks. Now all I want to do is die.

I'm going through the exact same thing, only he didn't leave me for anyone, just straight out left me. He was the love of my life and it's been three months and I'm still fucked up. I know the pain, I'm sorry that you're dealing with something as fucking awful like that as well.

 

[Going Home]

I don't think love is real.

 

[Hel]

My reason to die is exactly that, so if I had the person I love, of course I wouldn't want to die. I would have LOTS of things to fix (insecurities, trauma...) but I would work on that with all my heart and soul if I was with that person. But since that's impossible, I rather be dead

 

[inconsequential]

People do love me. Still want to die. It is outside of other humans.

 

[Intelligent Ape]

I only know a romantic (=masochistic) unrequited love. So I'm not sure I can reciprocate if someone would loved me. My mind is too twisted for that.

 

[Help_Me]

My gf insists she loves me. Here I am ready to ctb)

 

[HGL91]

No. Every time I've loved someone, I always give more than I get, and eventually, they decide they got their use out of me, and leave. Then I just feel more worthless and exhausted.

 

[Pistolero114]

I'm going through the exact same thing, only he didn't leave me for anyone, just straight out left me. He was the love of my life and it's been three months and I'm still fucked up. I know the pain, I'm sorry that you're dealing with something as fucking awful like that as well.

I know the feeling. After thirteen years together I got left for someone who had the time to say the right things I guess while I was out doing my damnedest to keep everyone comfortable and set up funds for my daughters college. Guess I wasn't exciting enough anymore.

 

[Nessa]

Love is the only thing that's keeping me from kms. Love is a difficult concept for me. Don't want my partner dwelling in sorrow over my death. That's why it's taking so long for me to go.. if I didn't have this relationship, I would be long gone.

 

[k75]

Yes.
I have love, but my mind is still trying to kill me.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

No, I wish I had someone like that more than anything else.

 

[The Mute Viking]

I know the feeling. After thirteen years together I got left for someone who had the time to say the right things I guess while I was out doing my damnedest to keep everyone comfortable and set up funds for my daughters college. Guess I wasn't exciting enough anymore.

That's rough as fuck, that hits me in the chest and I feel the sting of it on the recoil. It's crazy how people sneak and slither in and out of each others lives. You're doing what's right for your daughters future. Shame the one gave your life too choose to inflict such a brutal pain onto you. This world is cruel. Here is a long distance hug from a random fuckedup lady on the internet. Get ready.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

"Find what you love and let it kill you." -Charles Bukowski

Hmm, somehow that speaks to me though.

 

[Ko9]

Yes, I'll feel empty and lonely no matter what. Also: If you fall in love with me I wouldn't trust you.

 

[magick'sgone]

I've been loved, and cheated on. I've been in love, and cheated. It doesn't really mean jackshit.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Yes it would fix things. I already love myself but it's not enough. "You must learn to be happy alone." Bullshit. I learned to be happy when i was kept in isolation for twenty something years. i'm fucking done with that.

The issue is i would be way to physically, emotionally, and sexually needy from a girl. So...it's just not gonna happen. All of those things are proven healing factors for me and allow me to accept and relieve anxiety. Just holding a stranger's hand has been enough to stop an anxiety attack. Being pleasured and giving pleasure to someone who loves me back would be the ultimate form of healing.

 

[Allegory]

My boyfriend says that he loves me but it is inevitable that he will leave me. He wants to have children some day and I don't. I would rip my uterus out myself if I could. My last boyfriend threatened to break up with me of I got sterilized and I expect my current boyfriend to do the same. Also, my boyfriend got angry with me the last time I talked about wanting to die.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

I learned to be happy when i was kept in isolation for twenty something years. i'm fucking done with that.

The issue is i would be way to physically, emotionally, and sexually needy from a girl.

Yeah, exactly this.

 

[DreamCatcher]

Love isn't anything other than chemicals in the brain. You wonder how people can fall into and out of love and cheat so easily. It's just chemicals.

Someone gets hit by the right cocktail of brain feel good stuffs at the right time and they'll leave anyone or cheat on anyone. Love is so shallow because that's all it is.

I have loved and I've been loved, but it wouldn't keep me here. It's only temporary. Even most family doesn't really love you, if they did they would want the best for you and not try to control you or exploit you at every turn.

Insert the "Not all humans" to say there are a good few that won't exploit you. But I could count all of the ones I've met in half a lifetime on one hand.

 

[hamnspammaam]

Maybe I am just the ungrateful piece of shit my family likes to beat into me, literally lol, but they love me. I still want to die. I still plan on leaving. Just wished he'd let me go. My friends, too. I don't feel like keeping up with life. I'm so far behind. It just gets worse.

 

[Endthismisery]

The problem with me is I find love so hard to accept that I sabotage it to the point where I can't be loved

My family care for me but I need to end my life for my sanity not for the need of love

 

[not_a_robot]

No, I wish I had someone like that more than anything else.

I think we all wish for the mythical "right person."
All the people who ever thought they loved me never understood me at all.
So now I only hope to find a ctb partner. At least I will die knowing he understood *one* thing about me; suicide.

 

[Seven]

Jokes on you nobody would love me, ive never been loved my whole life but if i was? Yeah easily, it takes much more than love to fix this broken mess. Im pretty sure love would end up making things worse and complicated. No point, and even if i was loved it wouldnt be real so ah well. No point thinking of it, last thing on my mind right now

 

[Egddios]

The only person I ever loved recently left me for someone else. He was only thing that mattered to me. He left without so much as telling me. He ghosted me for two weeks. Now all I want to do is die.

Sending you a hug.

 

[Egddios]

I am loved dearly by my sister, and I am sad to leave her. We live in separate states, we don't see each other often but communicate via text quite frequently and when we talk on the phone, sometimes we stay talking for hours. I love her very much. That said, once I'm gone and my death is processed mentally by her and the rest of my family, I think or hope it is understood I did try.

I love my partner very much, too. It's not like their love isn't enough to keep me alive, I don't look at it like that. I've wanted to end my life for so long, have two failed attempts, and I'm increasingly readying myself for my end.

 

[262653]

I don't see how being loved has anything to do with suicidality. I want to opt out because I don't like the terms of living, not because no one is financially/emotionally dependent on me. It occured to me lately that we are incompatible, we are heading in opposite directions. I could use a companionship. Someone who is suicidal too.
I've heard a pompous quote once, something along the lines of: "Love isn't when partners look at each other, but in the same direction."

 

[andy69]

Sending you a hug.

Thank you

 

[Unlucked]

I've never been loved by anyone, so it depends. Even if I was loved though I have so much insecurity I'd be doubting constantly. Theyd probably get fed up and leave. Now if it was unconditional love that never faded no matter how much bullshit I spew then maybe. But I'm pretty sure that sort of love is a pipe dream. I have never met anyone that loved unconditonally. I'm pretty sure that when people talk about unconditional love they are referring to it as an abstract general love of humanity or God loving us rather than a specific person loving unconditonally. Frankly I dont think unconditional love between specific people exists.