Discussion If someone genuinely tried to save you would you let them try?

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

If someone genuinely saw you and all you were would you try to still fight? If they genuinely wanted to help and showed up when you needed them would you let them try? I know people in my life have accepted that they can't stop me from catching the bus. I just feel too broken. But maybe if someone said fuck that if you don't have fight left I'll help you fight maybe it wouldn't be this way. If someone let me fully breakdown saw me with the cuts on my skin saw that I'm out of fight. Not just acknowledge it but understand it and what it meant and didn't give up. A huge part of me feels like it's too late to save me. A part of me wants everyone to just give up on me and write me off so I could go without feeling guilty that after I'm gone they would realize how much they miss me. But no one misses me. No one reaches out and say I haven't heard from you you want to go do something? Everyone misses you in death but what if someone missed you in life? What if someone missed you while you were alive? They always say reach out if your in that place not realizing if your in that place you don't have the strength to reach out. I know people will miss me when I'm not there. It hurts knowing that but maybe if someone showed me that im someone worth it in life. At this point i dont know or really think it would be enough to stop me. I feel past that point. At this point I feel like it's too late but sometimes i fantasize someone coming at that moment between life and death and give me a real reason to at least get through that moment. I know it's not going to happen. When it's time I'm going alone. I know I have notes to write. Been working on them even tho I know there is no one that is even willing to be that person. I fade into the background always have always will. But I know that people will be affected. Even seeing a suicide in the news affects people. So the people who knew me in life will get notes. Doesn't change the fact that I'm alone. Doesn't change the fact that I'm only in their life when it's convenient and it very rarely is. But this question does roll around in my head. Could I have been saved if someone had stepped up before my hope and will was gone?

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally just don't want to be burdened with this torturous and futile existence no matter what, to me saving is just prolonging the suffering and torture of existing, I find it horrific how a human can suffer for so long just to die tortured by old age, for me non-existence really is all that's positive, I'll always see it as so deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence and I never would have chosen any of this in the first place.

This existence is just so futile to me and it all just leads to death anyway which is all I hope for, I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this existence, one cannot be saved from death as it's all that's inevitable, to me existing is just waiting to die, I wish for the peace of non-existence to save me from this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake. I wish this existence was never imposed more than anything, I'd never wish for this existence of unnecessary suffering where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

 

[anhedonic_moron]

honestly no considering how much of a burden I would be and how much I would ruin everything but if I were in a situation where the police are attempting to try to stop me from killing myself via negotiations then I would not mind talking to them but judging from the videos of their negotiations with others who are on the edge of CTB, I don't have much hope in them to "save" me. a little conversation won't hurt lol

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I long ago realized no one would EVER want to help me, so for me it's not even worth considering, not even as a "what if". I do believe Jesus sees me fully as I am and cares, and wants to and is able to help me, but I'm having trouble being happy about that. I think I'm probably going to hell. I'm Christian but not the self-righteous preachy type.

 

[moya117]

yes, but the probability is too low, no one would go against their way to save me but if they do, they usually get tired of me, i dont blame them though
as much as i want all this pain to end, i honestly dont want it to end with me ctb-ing cus im a coward thats scared of a mere thought of the afterlife.
i do want to change and i do actively trying to fix myself, but having someone beside me actively trying to save me sounds like heaven. but it just too much to ask for, its like a fantasy at this point

 

[hereornot]

Yes, i need help. But it is very difficult for this to happen in time.

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

honestly no considering how much of a burden I would be and how much I would ruin everything but if I were in a situation where the police are attempting to try to stop me from killing myself via negotiations then I would not mind talking to them but judging from the videos of their negotiations with others who are on the edge of CTB, I don't have much hope in them to "save" me. a little conversation won't hurt lol

nothing to add to the thread but nice profile picture

 

[anhedonic_moron]

nothing to add to the thread but nice profile picture

thank you, found it off of Twitter, not sure who drew it but this ryo yamada image is such an eye candy

 

[WhySoSad55555]

Sorry, I don't mean to sound annoying or agitate anyone. But I was going to say that I wish I could help everyone, that's feeling lonely or sad. I tried helping as many people as I could on reddit and other social platforms. Like I would try to check up on them regularly, listen to them, give them advice, etc. And it made me feel like I was actually not stupid or worthless after all lol. But ironically while I was trying to do this my mental state kept getting worse. And it made me start to slowly change my original feelings and mindset. While i was talking to them, despite feeling sad and depressed, i still had this false hope that things rlly would get better. And that maybe i could help others if I rlly tried hard enough, and never gave up on them. But I started to think that I was just bothering them, or prolonging their life for more suffering, so eventually I just stopped. Sorry for the long, obnoxiously text lol, you don't have to read everything. But I'm so sorry for everyone here, I send you all big, long hugs

 

[Nobody'sHero]

I have had people try but I end up feeling more worthless and like a weight to them, almost as if I'm going to drown them with all my negativity and confusion. I do not want to do that. I also recognize that it is up to everyone to save themselves, you can get help and reach out, but you need to be at the point where you will be receptive to that. If you are not at that point I feel like pretty much nothing/no one can help except yourself.

 

[daysfeel]

Fuck no. Living with a botched suicide attempt sounds hellish

 

[JesiBel]

No, they shouldn't interfere. I'd make them leave me alone. Also I am my own problem and enemy. Death is the only one who can save me. No one who forces me to stay will make me happy, but quite the opposite.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

One person tried to do this for me. They tried to help me for a long time. Way longer than anyone else. They were there for me more than anyone else ever was. But, ultimately, they realized that I was too messed up. They left me to face my fate, because listening to me talk about my feelings was too much for them to bear.

It was the most painful experience I ever had. They got involved almost ten years ago. I am so thankful that they tried to help me. But the experience left me off even worse than I was before. It made me realize that I cannot share my feelings with others without hurting them. That I need to keep my distance. That there probably isn't anyone in this world who will be able to save me.

Soon, it will be ten years since then. I don't know if I want to live past then. The time leading up to it has been so painful. I would rather not do it in my current situation, but I don't know if I will be able to stand it.

 

[askmeifimatree]

It would just delay the inevitable. Maybe I would, I can always go back to ctb.