Well, I don't know, I also think the same way you do, to respond with anything other than "there is no point" is to lie to myself first and foremost and I hate liars.
I also think/thought?/still think that putting myself in servitude of animals and people in need is the only thing left for my carcass, not so I can live but so others don't suffer as much.
For me, me? there is nothing left, no point. It's everyone's choice at that point wether they serve others or choose to die but you shouldn't hear this for the first time at like 20 years old when you've been asking since 12, you know?
I hate society for that and that alone, I don't think it's my point but if I had a dream or wish it would be to make everyone on this planet acknowledge the darkest depths that someone can get to. The fact that they have lied to me so many times and have continued to do so for over a decade and fill my mind with false promises is insane.
Only to as an adult to be told that I can live or die and that they don't care; it just reeks to me that these people knew the answer, they just couldn't risk it saying it to a child because of jail time. Why? because they are evil and know that every adult is evil and is waiting for an opportunity to sack another person so they expected the child to be asking the question as a gotcha moment to get them in trouble and the child would get...what exactly? schadenfreude ? I've seen people ruin others lives for that, I guess adults project that on children aswel so they are careful to be legally correct when talking to them.
I can't explain it otherwise, since I was 18 I was told that I can kill myself whenever I want and that nobody cares but as a child no one ever even entertained the idea, I hate humanity, there is no point in my opinion but humanity is making me day after day choose the secret hidden 3rd ending that is between living and dying, the revenge ending.