Venting idk

[nails]

anything even remotely positive in my life just inevitably goes to shit, one way or another. it doesn't matter if i worked hard to make it happen or not, it'll always end horribly and/or disappear. i try to find happiness in different things, but they always get ruined. i still look forward to these positive things, and i get so optimistic, but it just gets ruined. people love to make it a point of how i'm just ridiculously pessimistic—which i definitely am in many regards—but i get so stupidly optimistic about every little thing that could possibly bring me any amount of happiness. i suppose that optimism could also be my problem but idk and idrc, my mindset doesn't change the shitty results or how i feel about them
everyone just disappears and i don't matter to anyone. there's no point in establishing connections with others. every job or activity that i put effort into becomes obsolete; my efforts are usually pointless anyway, i'm incompetent and bad at everything. i guess i'd be okay with my incompetence, but again, everything goes to shit regardless. i'll never get what i want, no matter how insignificant it is and i'll never serve any value to anyone. there's nothing to be happy about and nothing to look forward to. why would i do anything other than die

 

[frailcoffee]

anything even remotely positive in my life just inevitably goes to shit, one way or another. it doesn't matter if i worked hard to make it happen or not, it'll always end horribly and/or disappear. i try to find happiness in different things, but they always get ruined. i still look forward to these positive things, and i get so optimistic, but it just gets ruined. people love to make it a point of how i'm just ridiculously pessimistic—which i definitely am in many regards—but i get so stupidly optimistic about every little thing that could possibly bring me any amount of happiness. i suppose that optimism could also be my problem but idk and idrc, my mindset doesn't change the shitty results or how i feel about them
everyone just disappears and i don't matter to anyone. there's no point in establishing connections with others. every job or activity that i put effort into becomes obsolete; my efforts are usually pointless anyway, i'm incompetent and bad at everything. i guess i'd be okay with my incompetence, but again, everything goes to shit regardless. i'll never get what i want, no matter how insignificant it is and i'll never serve any value to anyone. there's nothing to be happy about and nothing to look forward to. why would i do anything other than die

I relate to you dearly. Sometimes I really think I'm headed towards something finally good for once in my life, but then it vanishes and leaves me relentlessly miserable again. Same old same old. I hope you find peace soon, this feeling absolutely sucks

 

[JesiBel]

Wow, I feel like you described my situation too.

You know, I always thought I was a pessimist. But now I'm not so sure about that. I think on the contrary, we put so much effort and hope into the new things we try and then get so frustrated with the negative results. Like the disappointment overwhelms us.

I don't know if it's bad luck or what, but all I can do is cry or laugh at myself. It seems like a scene from a theatrical comedy.

Anyway, I think doing nothing would make me even more depressed.