Venting Idk anymore

[angelhopes]

Im so tired I genuinely don't know what to do anymore and it seems like no one is understands me. I tried everything to be better and ill have some small progress before I crash down again. I dont really see the point anymore. Does it actually get better? I started distancing myself from my friends to isolate myself thinking that it'll be the best for them so I won't be a burden anymore. I just wanna go back to normal im so tired.

I started reading the bible for support but it can only do so much cause my brain would always win by feeding me these negative things about me. Im so desperate for help :( I started giving my password to my bestfriend just incase something happened to me but I just dont know anymore. Everything just happens back to back.

 

[timf]

Sometimes disengagement makes things worse because it can amplify isolation. You mentioned some "small progress". Sometimes the things we try seem only partially successful. However, it may be possible to discover something in a partial success that can be expanded upon for greater success. As you experiment, you may discover something that you can build on for greater success.

 

[enjoytheride]

I can relate to your feeling of pushing a boulder uphill like Sisyphus. I am truly sorry you are going through this.

Since you mention:

my brain would always win by feeding me these negative things about me

If you spend a lot of time at home, alone, try to go out as much as possible, even if just to sit on a bench in the park, drinking coffee and watching the birds. Shopping or just walking around in shops can also help. Walks on the city streets, squares... The more you isolate yourself, the more negative self-talk will likely occur. Being out and about, even without interacting with people, can reduce anxiety and keep negative thoughts at bay.

Kind regards!